Chapter 13

Warning: this book is still DARK ROMANCE if you like anyone here, you’re sus

You can look, but you can’t touch
I’m runnin’ through your thoughts
And you can’t help but get a rush
And when I’m out of sight
I’m never ever out of mind
—Obsession (Mellina Tay)

JUDE CRESTON
In the Withholding

“Y-you…” the man with Leo’s face looks down on me with a terrifying split smile, multiple tentacle arms behind him all looking at me in the vanta-black darkness of this dimension. I was taken here—again!

“Oh, don’t be scared, you’ll turn me on even more…” the demonic man chuckles with split cheeks laughing at me, “You’re dirty, baby boy… let me clean you up…”

One of his tentacles grabbed my ankles and opened my legs. “Stop—! Don’t touch me!”

But he went ahead and used his long, serpent-like tongue to lick me clean in two strokes, before dropping my body to the ground and giggling at what he just did. I only had a shirt on, and I rushed to tuck my legs to hide my body.

“Ahhh, you taste so good… Leo made you bleed, huh?” He did? I didn’t feel it… But I do feel so sore. His piercings weren’t the problem, it was his size!

“Get away from me!”

“I can’t touch you any further. Leo made a deal with me… y’know the thing with Lucifer and I is, we’re kinda bound to contracts. Breaking it would be boring…”

He… can’t hurt me. “Then why did you take me?”

“You’re cute, so I’ll take the opportunity to kidnap you when I get it,” he nonchalantly lays on his own tentacles, which weirded me out even more. Especially when he swipes his tongue all over his lips and split cheeks, “Besides, Leo was going to suck you dry—putting you here spared you the pain.”

A bowl of grapes appeared beside him and he casually ate it as he rants, “Do you know what it’s like to be on top of the world one day—until random old men decided to put me inside a child? I don’t swing that way, I’m not a catholic priest.”

“I… I’m not your therapist…” I back away from him and angrily yelled, “I want to go back… let me out!”

“If you go back, you’ll be unconscious anyway…” the demon grins with his split cheeks, “Stay here… let me look at that face for longer.”

What is up with this guy? How do I get out of here?

He’s not gonna let me go unless he wants to. I tilt my head, watching him stuff grapes into his mouth only for them to spill out of his open cheeks. He’s kind of weird.

I grimaced, “You chew like a dog.”

“I saw you f*cked like one, it was kind of hot,” the demon ate more, and more of them fell off. “I’ve seen Leo f*ck the pretty dark femboy and the skinny evil twink—so far, you’re the only one he confessed his love to. And you’re not even that pretty, shocking.”

My mouth hung open, “Excuse me? Did you just call me ugly?”

“No, hehe. I’d f*ck you if that makes you feel better…”

“That’s not a compliment,” I mutter, turning away from him to find some other way to get out of here. “And I hate that you have Leo’s face, you’re a total *sshole. Let me out of here, now!”

“Ugh, it’s always ‘you’re so evil‘ or ‘you’re the worst‘ or ‘you have the biggest d*ck‘—nobody ever asks me how I’m doing. Nobody cares what Satan is feeling…”

I snap my head at him, “I did not consent to this conversation.” Also why is he pouting…

“And I didn’t consent to be trapped here!” The demon sighed dramatically, “Do you know how humiliating it is to be sealed into the mind of a boy? If my vessel was a girl, at least I’d have tits to play with… a d*ck gets old especially when there’s no hole to get into… unless?”

“No way.” I tried walking away, only to come back to where he’s laying on his own appendages.

“I can make mine bigger than Leo.”

“Ew, no! Ugh, can’t you just make yourself a blow-up doll in this dimension?” I cross my arms, making sure to hide my body from him.

He scanned me—still half naked with nothing but my shirt by the way, and grinned maniacally. “What we can’t make in this place is free will. This little thing called free will… makes humans the most fun. It wouldn’t be fun if I could just f*ck you, y’know. The chase is worth it. Let’s see how long it will take until you ask me to f*ck you with my many arms.”

“You are weird, I’m not into squids!” I breathed out. I looked around, giving knowing there’s no way to get out of here unless he wants me to. What would Salve do in this situation?

What would Salve do?

“If you’re lonely, you could’ve just said it.”

“I’m not lonely,” he snorts, quite unattractively. “I’m the overlord of hell, I’m just bored—never lonely. That’s such a human flaw.”

He’s so full of sh*t. I know I’ll piss him off, but… it’s worth a try. “It’s okay Dev, vampires can be lonely, too. Leo is miserable with you, I’m sure.”

“I’M NOT LONELY—Dev? Who the f*ck is Dev?” his weird little tentacles raise and point at me threateningly, “I am the great Satan—the almighty Beelzebub, God’s greatest adversary—!”

“You have the face of a creepypasta character, I cannot take you seriously.” And I know for a fact he cannot hurt me. He got even more mad, opening his split mouth to roar at me. But I stood my ground, trusting Leo and their deal. “It’s just short for Devil—Satan sounds too evil.”

He closed his mouth. “Too… evil? What do you mean, human?”

“You’re just lonely, that’s why you’re acting out. You looked really happy when I came here earlier…” I tell him, quite softly. “I get you. I’m already very sad being here for two minutes, I can’t imagine what you’d feel…”

“You CANNOT imagine what I feel!” he barked, truly pissed off. Maybe I’m not so much acting like Salve, maybe I’m just acting like myself now. “Because the great overlord of hell is NOT lonely, I talk to Leo all the time—”

“Does he talk to you?” I tilt my head at him, and his cheeks stitch together when he closed his mouth, caught off guard. “Aww… Leo doesn’t talk to you, does he? You couldn’t even be friends with your warden. How lonely…”

“You humans are unbearable—I’m NOT lonely…” he laid back into his tentacles. I find myself smiling because if I make fun of him, maybe he won’t like me being here. He frustratedly grabbed a handful of grapes and stuffing it in his mouth, majority still falling out.

I walked towards the bowl of grapes, and he followed my silhouette with intrigue. His tentacles crawled towards me, but stopped at a certain distance. I ate one grape, and tasted nothing. “Hmm… flavorless food. Now I know why you’re so cranky. Demons don’t need food, but you can’t even taste the sweetness.”

He raised an eyebrow, insulted. The tentacles are now surrounding me threateningly. “Are you looking down on me? I can breach the contract and take you against your will—!”

“No you can’t… are you really that evil?” I ask him. “I don’t want to call you Satan because that name has been the symbol of evil ever since God created the Garden of Eden.”

It was my turn to rant. “After turning into a vampire found out God may not be the epitome of good… She still punishes her children, She leaves people to suffer the consequences of their actions, and even other people’s actions. She is merciful, Just… and a loving Mother. But she still created Hell for her sinful children to be punished for eternity.”

I look at him with the intentions of him looking into my head and seeing my innocence. Hopefully, he’ll see me as valuable enough to keep it untouched. “All of us two sides, don’t we? So are you purely evil?”

The smile in his cheeks stitched closed, and he looks at me with softened eyes. He’s not angry, or amused. He’s simply blank. His eyes settle, as if the mischief behind them ceased their operations.

“That’s not a question mortals usually ask me,” he says in a voice that’s no longer echoing in the dark. “But if I were free of these shackles… you wouldn’t survive my temptation.”

“Of course,” I submit to him, which shocked him further. “I’m a human, worse… a vampire. I already indulge in sin, I have no right to act superior to the devil himself. I can’t condemn you.”

The demon looks uncertain—he looks more like Leo now. He hesitated, an emotion I didn’t expect for him to do.

“You… do not speak like the other priests.” He lifted his head, “You are dumber.”

I find myself smiling because I made the devil’s arms retreat.

“If you let me out, I’ll visit you every once in a while…” I said. The devil looked at me, both eyebrows are raised, eyes round with hope.

“You… will?” He turned his head. “Visit? Like… I’m an elder at a retirement home?”

“Yes… as long as you don’t trap me here, I’ll visit on my own will,” I spoke out, stepping towards the demon and reaching my hand up to see if I can touch him. He seemed offended, pulling away. “I want to see if I can touch you… is that a breach of contract?”

No. Not really… he leans against my hand and let me touch his scarred cheeks, reminding me too much of Leo. He’s still scowling at me, but this little demon is so touch deprived he let me rub his face.

“You…” he snarled, but wouldn’t move in fear of me putting away. “… are an annoying little human.”

“I’m a vampire.”

“Even worse…” he breathes out, rolling his eyes. “You may leave, but… fulfill your promise, human. If not, I will entrap you in this dimension as my slave.”

“I pro—” before I can finish the sentence, I woke up in my own bedroom. I was breathless, like I just woke up from a nightmare. Salve was beside me, calling out my name. “Sal!”

“You passed out!” He exclaimed. “It’s been hours, Jude! Your blood needs to be off limits to these greedy-*ss mosquitoes.”

I look around my empty bedroom. I was in a new shirt that isn’t mine, but shorts which belonged to me. My neck has scarred already, indicating it’s really been hours. “Wh-where’s Leo?”

“I saw him cry when you passed out… he feels very horrible about what he did. He cleaned you up and brought you here… gosh, poor guy…” because of what Salve said, I got up to get out of my room.

Bad idea… Glass is leaning against the doorway of Redd’s bedroom, making out with Pryce. Both pulled away from each other and looked at me.

“Jude… have you eaten yet?” Pryce smiles innocently at me as if Glass’ hands isn’t under his pants right now.

I scowled at them, turning away to go to Leo’s room. “I’m not hungry…”

“Puppy?” Glass inquired, and I really didn’t want to stop, but my body paused at the sound of his voice. He walked towards me and pulled my shoulder to face him. Glass scanned my body with a worried look, “You smell different…”

“I just exercised, I didn’t shower…” I tried to leave again, but Glass grabbed my wrist.

“You smell…” he looked almost hurt—no, definitely hurt. His dark eye glistens more than the lighter one. “… like Leo. Did he feed on you?”

“I hung out with him,” I pull my arm away, a bit nervous since Glass doesn’t look so happy. “I forgot something in his room. Enjoy your feeding.”

“Pup—”

“Glass. Evie’s waiting, babe…” Pryce walked behind him and wraps an arm around Glass’ waist to invite him into Redd’s room.

Glass reluctantly went with him, but his eyes remained only on me until he turned his back. He looked sad, as if I was betraying him. But I’m not… their relationship is open, and nobody owns anyone here, including me. I immediately rushed into Leo’s room before anyone could stop me.

“Leo?” I opened the door to his room and see him sitting on the floor, a trash bag beside him filled with his torn stuff. It looks like he’s been cleaning, but stopped to stare into nothing, zoning out. But I seem to have interrupted his thoughts.

“Jude…” he whispers my name like he’s forbidden to say it. “J-Jude… I hurt you…”

I knelt in front of him, “No, you didn’t. It’s natural, right? For the first time to hurt? I’m very happy you were my first time… no matter how weird your piercings felt. Are you due none of them ripped off?”

Making fun of his body modifications made him chuckle. “You’re smooth inside, there’s no friction to knock them off.”

He reached out to touch my face, his face falling into concern. “He kidnapped you, didn’t he? The devil? God… I wouldn’t know what I’ll do if he takes you. How did you even get out?”

“He’s the devil… he thrives on promises, so I made a deal with him. I simply promised to visit every once in a while.”

Leo scowled. “You’re not going back inside.”

“You have to trust me, Leo. If I don’t meet him halfway, he’ll just be going after me and kidnapping me whenever he wants. If I visit, it’ll be on my own will.”

He’s still very reluctant; but he knows I’m right. That devil would not break a deal. I placed my hand on his arm, rubbing affectionately. But I saw no vision; I still couldn’t control when I could see into their memories.

“How did they put an entire devil inside you? He told me the priests did it… but did you allow it?”

“I had no choice…” Leo says, “I uhm… I turned into a vampire inside the Vatican. They wanted to get rid of me… until the Monsignor fought for my life. Still, I was caged and starved like the animal they saw me as.”

“Please let me go…” a little kid begged. “I won’t hurt anyone, I swear!”

The sound of a whip ripped through the church, landing on the cage. It hit the boy’s hands, making him release the metal bars. “You’re a vampire pest… your kind thrives on pain and suffering.”

“N-no… I promise I won’t! Please l-let me go…” Leo tells me, “I guess the Withholding was the only place I could retreat to during the coldest nights, the hungriest times. My imagination… turned into its own domain. A place where I couldn’t get hurt anymore.”

He couldn’t meet my eyes. Leo is hurting himself just telling me this, so I sat beside him, my back against the edge of the bed as well, and leaned against his shoulder. If he doesn’t want me to look at him crying… then at least, I’ll be here for him.

“The Monsignor told them my Withholding is useful; and that I don’t deserve to die. He proposed I become Satan’s vessel. It’s the only way the Vatican will allow me to live.” He held my hands as if seeking comfort in them. I gave it to him, of course—that’s when I saw it.

“AAAAHHHHHH!” The never ending scream of a small boy strapped to a stone table, his heart carved out while he’s wide awake. The memory is so painful I wanted to pull my hand away—but that would be cruel. Leo needs my touch now more than ever. But God, his scream is shrill… scared, in utter pain.

His heart was offered to Satan to summon him. The Monsignor bends to whisper to the screaming child, “Take him inside. Now, Leo.”

“IT HUUUUUURTS—-!”

“Now, Leo! Fail to do this and you lose your life!”

It was Leo who tore his hands off me, and I breathed back out after breaking free from that painful memory. I want to keep embracing him—but when I get into their memory, I feel everything they were feeling in that moment.

“I’m trapped here,” Leo sadly said, “Unlike the others who’ve had the choice to stay in the convent or leave… I’m stuck here. Unable to leave, so I can contain the devil and keep him away from the humans.”

Him and Devvy… they’re both imprisoned. They’re not so different. I sigh, “I’m sorry, Leo. You don’t deserve carrying the burden of an entire devil alone.”

“All I want is to keep him away from you. I can hear his thoughts, and anything that involves you is unholy.”

I find myself laughing, “The devil really is just a lonely pervert inside your Withholding.”

Leo’s head twitched as if an intrusive thought filled his head. He looks uncomfortable, and didn’t laugh.

“Hey!” I knelt beside him and knocked on his head, “Leave him alone, Devvy. You’re a pervert, and you know it.”

This time, Leo smiles. “Does he really listen to you? How could you do that?”

I didn’t answer, I just leaned in to kiss him, planting my lips ever so softly on his.

IN ANOTHER’S POINT OF VIEW

The devil inside Leo hugged himself with his many arms, squealing with excitement. “Ahhh, Jude… this human body is feeling butterflies in its stomach~yieeee!”

He frowned, “I hate it! I’d destroy it if it wasn’t for the chance to be with you…”

Meanwhile, in the convent, Glass licked the blood on Evie’s chin, fresh off Pryce who lay satisfied in Redd’s room. Glass pouts, “You don’t look too happy, my love…”

“That’s because I can feel that you are hiding something for me, Glass…” Evie grabbed his jaw, forcing his lover to look into his eyes. “You haven’t looked at me ever since I heard you say Jude’s name outside. And you didn’t even bring him here.”

“He went to see Leo…”

Evie saw red, and he growls. “Leo f*cked him. After his first was promised to me.”

“Evie?” Pryce calls out, watching Glass squirm. Redd, who is trying to recover from the feeding, noticed and looked concerned. “You’re hurting him…”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Evie barks at Pryce. “Jude promised himself to me.”

Glass pulls away from him, now being held by a concerned Redd. “He chose Leo to take his virginity. We’re supposed to be open, are we not? We can choose our partners. So what if Jude slept with Leo?”

“A promise is a promise,” Evie stood up, buttoning a shirt. “And I’ll make Jude pay.”

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