Chapter 36

JUDE

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“19 seconds? I’ve never seen you this slow adams.”

I collapsed on the ground as a heap of sweat and laboured pants.

My veins felt like they were filled with lava. My chest had broken into dry heaves and my thigh muscles were calling for help.

“Get up!”

I tried. I really did. But my body felt like a storm cloud that couldn’t move, waiting for the right moment to implode.

“Get your lazy ass up,” Coach barked. “Missing practice for weeks while we have the state championships in less than a month? You’ve got some nerve being out of shape. Get up and give me another sprint.”

I groaned in response. “Give me a minute.”

There was an abrupt silence.

“19 seconds?” I couldn’t see him but I assumed he was staring at his timer again. His tone was incredulous. “19 goddamn seconds. This is an all-time new low for you.”

Another gap of silence.

“Even Lousy Larry can run faster than this. At this rate, I might even substitute you for him.”

My heart began to race. I knew he had to be messing with me but his tone sounded absolutely serious. I couldn’t be substituted. I just couldn’t.

I tried craning my neck off the ground to glance at him but the moment I did, the lava in my veins intensified to searing-hot. Dizziness almost completely swept me away.

I was rattled. Shell-shocked. I’d never in my life been out of my game like this. Even my most stressful workouts had never left me feeling like I was catching pneumonia.

I could hear snickering on my left. Probably Liam and his dumb friends. Unlike me, they had a reason to be happy for my predicament because one of them would take my spot in the championships if this kept going on.

“I’ll sprint in another minute. Just… just let me catch a water break.”

“Remember what I told you?”

That I look like an inflated human balloon because I didn’t take my diet seriously, I wanted to say but I was too exhausted to even utter a three-word sentence.

I could feel his stare burn through my head.

“That you might not make the team if this continues. You’ve already missed dozens of practice. This is an act of clemency that I’m even allowing you on the tracks.”

I swallowed a bitter ball of jumbled regret and anger.

Coach made a slight sound of displeasure before turning. “Hey! Edgar. 2 more reps. 30 metres from the block. Your form could use some work. Nice work clearing those hurdles, Joshua. You might just set a new record for yourself. And – hey! Why are you standing there gawking like a pregnant honeybadger, Jenkins. Give me two more laps. Go! Go! Go!”

Sounds of scurrying feet hurried away from my left – exactly where I’d heard the snickers.

Another bout of silence. I could feel Coach’s attention on me again, like a ship’s metal anchor pressing against my chest.

“2 minute break. Then another sprint. But this time, 40 metres. If you don’t impress me…”

The threat hang in the air. If I didn’t impress him, I’d most probably kiss my spot goodbye.

I swallowed. Another minute of silence later, I realised he’d left my side. I could finally open my eyes.

I slowly sat upright, my eyes trailing down my black athletic shorts, which were smeared with dirt, drenched with sweat and sticking to my skin. The sun was a hot lump of radiation on my back. I could practically smell the stench from my rumpled brown tee.

My eyes landed on the far left side of the field where coach had dragged his lion-like attention towards the rest of the team. I could see Ruan almost shrinking before Coach’s words before high-tailing to where the hurdles lay.

Unlike me, he dealt purely with hurdles and he was phenomenal at that. As he stretched his limbs, my mind began to wander.

The last thing I wanted.

I hadn’t allowed myself to sit with my thoughts all day. Since yesterday.

Since…

I felt the claws of the memory slice me between my eyes. My cheek beginning to sting where he hit me…

I closed my eyes and focused on Ruan.

A high-pitched noise brought me completely back to reality before I barely registered Ruan had exploded into action. His hips stirred as he leapt over the hurdles with impossible grace. He always had more nimble legs and feet than I did but that fact was always more glaring when I saw him in action.

His arms ate at the air, his body pressed into a lean form…

Within a few seconds, he’d cleared the hurdles.

All ten of them.

He doubled over, catching his breath. Coach didn’t say a thing but I thought I could see a hint of a smile across his face. He came up to Ruan before patting him on the shoulder.

I could feel jealousy burbling in my stomach. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten a compliment or even a flattering remark from coach. I mean, getting them from him was like selling lint at fifty dollars but still…

I was among his favourites. I won him several trophies at the last state championships.

I wanted to be on top of my game again.

I wanted to see Coach’s smile on me, his hand on my shoulder telling me I had done a good job.

And most of all…

Hey, my little runner, I could almost hear my dad holding me up under my arms when I was maybe six.

You’re going to be the fastest man the world had ever seen.

Faster than than Michael Norman? Than Usain Bolt?

The fastest, he nuzzled his face into my cheeks causing a burst of giggles to erupt in me.

I blinked and the world was normal again. The memory left a nasty stain in my head.

Focus, man.

Across the field, I could tell Coach had excused Ruan because he started for the water station across the field.

Then, halfway across, his eyes landed on me. He stopped. His mouth curled into a smirk before trudging towards me.

“Hey, Judie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why are you always on the ground?”

I shrugged. Seeing him up close, the ugly feeling in me got even uglier before I breathed. I had to force myself to push down that hot spike of jealousy I’d felt earlier because it wasn’t Ruan’s fault I was out of shape.

I started to rise before the memory came back with a sharp suddenness that beat the breath out of my lungs.

Ruan frowned. “What’s wrong? Muscle pull?”

I was frozen. Back in the room again. Rick’s flying words hitting me again in the face, each more devastating than the last.

We hadn’t spoken to each other after that. Avoiding each other to no end…

I could almost taste the bitterness of it all.

And above all this, I was angry. So angry. I was angry at everything. Angry at everyone.

At that point, my body was shaking.

The adrenaline from my previous sprint was already beginning to fade. I needed to get up. I needed to move so I couldn’t feel this way anymore.

Ruan was now by my side but I was so angry that I was afraid I would punch him.

“You okay, man?” He breathed after a moment.

I didn’t answer.

“Come on,” He gave me a hand. “I’ll take you to the med bay.”

“Your advice was shit.”