Chapter 6

JUDE

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The distance between the lounge room and my room was normally pretty short.

Five or six steps. Barely noticeable.

So could someone please tell me why, after leaving the others, it felt like I was walking from a blackhole?

My heart was doing jumping jacks. My skin burning hotter than an overheated engine. I felt like I had broken my school athlete record for Best 700-metre run.

I reached for the door handle, opened it, entered my room and closed it shut before locking it with trembling hands and collapsing on the floor, leaning on the door for support.

All in three seconds. Coach would be proud.

A few minutes passed by. I wiped a sheen of sweat off my forehead as I tried to think of anything but what had just happened.

I thought being alone would help me calm down and get my thoughts in order but the complete opposite occurred. I could still see his olive-green almond eyes, feel his ass on my lap, his pink luscious lips pressed against my ear singing twinkle twinkle little star as my voice tightened after each line his voice sung.

God knows I would never look at that song the same way.

I stood and tore off my T-shirt, leaving myself in only my shorts. I couldn’t stand the heat though a part of me wondered if it was the weather or my body reacting to what had just happened.

Why had I reacted like that? Why was I having thoughts of a guy, much less Oliver?

I didn’t like the dude. I knew he was gay and most of my friends picked on him because of that but surprisingly that isn’t why I hate him. Ever since we met, he’s been so dismissive towards me and goes out of his way to give me the cold shoulder despite me being nice to him.

I had resolved then that despite me being nice to him or in rare golden circumstances when that wasn’t possible, make fun of his anti-social habits and totally un-masculine behaviours. It also didn’t help that he was friends with my brother.

Was I a douche? Probably. But my ego had been bruised and couldn’t let that slide.

Infact, at this moment, I wanted to yell unspeakable words to him. I had loathed how he’d humiliated me in that dumb game of his.

At the same time, even though I don’t want to admit it, I am confliced. Conflicted by how I felt when Oliver did his Scare on me. I wasn’t prepared for him to follow through with it despite the fact that I goaded him. He was weak-willed , a twerp. He was supposed to back out.

Now look what he’s done to me. I am a mess right now. I can’t think of anything other than his lavender scent, his smooth skin, his soft luscious…

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.

“Jude?”

It was my brother. I didn’t answer.

“Hey bro,” he said after a small gap of silence, “You alright? You left in a hurry like…like you’d seen a ghost.”

I forced every thought out of my head. In as much of an even voice as I could muster, I said, “I’m fine, Rick. Everything’s ok. I just needed some room to breathe. You know I get claustrophobic at times, especially if someone is near me, right?”

Another bigger gap of silence. Perhaps he was thinking- that it was a bullshit of an excuse. Do you even get claustrophobic from close contact with someone you didn’t like?

Before I could utter another nonsensical reply, Rick sighed and mumbled a statement that shook me to the core. “You’re starting to sound like him. Infact, you’ve been shutting yourself a lot as his birthday nears.”

Now it was my time to stay silent. An indistinctive shadow seemed to pass between me and the door where Rick stood, the temperature decreasing more and more as each of his words descended onto me with the weight of a freight train.

I heard Rick take an unsteady breathe as he prepared to speak.

Don’t say it, I pleaded, Don’t say his name. If you say it, I’ll lose every strength. I’ve been trying to muster and everything will come back and-

“Don’t shut yourself from Mom and I because of him like you always do.”

Without another word, he left, the sound of his footsteps receding until I could no longer hear him.

I grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a trophy I won for the best athlete in the State School Championships and threw it across the room. It landed on the floor with a sickening clang.

“Damn it!” I growled, clawing my hair. “First Oliver, now Rick…Damn it!”

I walked over to my bed before plopping my ass on it. I was heaving and panting, worse than any track I’d ever run in.

Wait, I thought, that’s it. A run. That would make me feel better.

It was bad enough Oliver was making me feel a jumble of emotions. Now Rick too.

Why did he mention him? He rarely mentioned him. I loathed every minute of this.

I imagined the wind in my ears as I ran, the cold in my face washing away my thoughts and worries.

Without another thought, I grabbed a sprawled black hoodie on the floor and some white converse putting them on.

As I opened my door, I made sure the coast was clear before descending the stairs to the front door. I pulled my hood over my head and, taking a deep breath, I began my run in the neighbourhood.