Chapter 42

OLIVER

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Jude’s house looked completely the same since the last time I’d seen it.

Which was the night of the sleepover, so that clearly went without saying how much I had been avoiding it – and its inhabitants as well.

That night had been weeks ago. And a lot had happened since then.

I picked my way through the living room before my eyes caught the kitchen. I stopped dead in my tracks.

The memories were hitting me like cement blocks. I could still remember the exact smell of the fruit punch Rick and I made here. And our conversation.

You guys looked cute together, he’d said.

A twinge of emotion twisted my heart and made my mouth clench. He’d been talking about Lionel, sure, but I realised with a sharp sadness that I missed his words. I missed Rick.

There was a slight clank behind me and I knew Jude had just closed the door. I shook my head and gazed back at the various couches spread across the living room, expecting him to have settled down at one of them…

But he stood behind the farthest couch, his fingers caressing the leather headrest absentmindedly. His eyes were trained on the floor, flicking left and right every once in a while.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, confusion and a brief bout of hurt beginning to set in. I thought he wanted me here.

His fingers twitched slightly at the sound of my voice before they froze. He took a deep breath. “Nothing. I just… I wanted us to…” He looked up and pinned me with an impassive look. “I wanted us to go to my room.”

His tone dropped to an impossibly low depth at the mention of the word ‘room,’ and with his voice already being deep and gruff, it sounded like he was speaking directly into my bones. My neck began to itch. I’m pretty sure he hadn’t meant to, but he’d sounded absolutely sensual.

Oh my gosh.

He suddenly broke away from my gaze and stared at the floor. “I mean my mom’s in, and it’s – it’s better than the living room because there are no distractions and I…” He shifted on his feet, looking more and more flustered as he spoke, “I… don’t want to get distracted.”

The pulse at my neck was jumping. After a few minutes of unbearable silence, I said, “I’m… I’m okay with it.”

Jude’s eyes snapped to me. They seemed to be searching for something, maybe doubt or hesitation, before he released a breath so soft that if I hadn’t been paying attention, I would have missed it. He moved from the couch and past me before climbing the stairs, my legs trailing after him.

We reached the first floor and after a few steps, Jude stopped abruptly at a closed door. I thought he was about to open it but he stayed completely frozen. His back was facing me but I could tell his muscles were completely rigid. His fists clenched and unclenched.

I looked at the room, my eyes dissecting the door that Jude was refusing to even look at and I realised with a start that it was Rick’s room. I almost knocked before I remembered he wasn’t in.

I frowned before stepping beside Jude, knowing all too well how much he must have been replaying the conflict with Rick in his head at the moment. His expression was a world of pain and hurt, like it was an hour ago, before he realised I was standing next to him and he turned his head away.

Without a word, he strode past it, his steps now heavy, until he was at the last door in the hallway before opening it and stepping inside. I followed him… and stopped.

The room was a burst of brown and white, its walls plastered in shapes of mahogany paint against a white background. In front of me was a large window framed in black curtains. Golden light streamed through the open window setting a large bed with two pillows and fresh, clean covers ablaze.

A certain smell pervaded the room – so good that it almost carried me off my feet but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what I was smelling. Lavender, patchouli. It almost smelled like a summer breeze but that couldn’t be possible. It wasn’t summer.

I turned an almost full circle, drinking in the room. A lone Star Wars poster was spread against one wall. On one corner of the room, comic books were neatly stacked on a desk. I briefly spotted one about Superman, and Wonder Woman and made my way toward them.

“Those were Ruan’s,” Jude’s voice cut through my reverie like a newly bought knife. “He gave them to me after finishing them.”

“Have you finished them?”

“I haven’t even started them.”

I glanced back at Jude but he had an impassive look once again, the grimace of pain he had spotted minutes ago vanishing. It was like I only had access to Premium Jude – the Jude that showed emotions, the Jude that was expressive – under certain circumstances and for a limited time before my free trial ended and I had to pay for a subscription.

And normally I wouldn’t have cared but I came to realize I liked it when he was expressive. I liked it when he got a slight shimmer in his eyes that highlighted their baby-like nature. I even preferred it if he was sad or angry because I liked seeing his handsome features shift depending on whatever emotion he had.

“Why haven’t you?” I asked, my eyes still scanning his room.

“Because I’m an athlete,” he said, his voice flat, almost annoyed, like I should have already guessed it. “I don’t have time for reading comics.”

“But Ruan’s an athlete…”

“Ruan’s different.”

I waited for further elaboration but Jude remained silent.

A few minutes passed but I was still busy scrutinising the room. Then the silence began to feel almost isolating and I turned my attention back to Jude, who was still wearing that poker – face but something felt odd. His eyes had a slightly intense weight to them and I realised he was waiting for something.

Without thinking, I blurted out with a small smile, “Your room is beautiful.”

He maintained that indifferent stare for a moment before looking away but not before I caught something like relief in his eyes.

He cleared his throat and marched to his bed before sitting next to the pillows. He motioned for me to take a seat on his bed… and that’s when it hit me.

I was in Jude’s room. Just the two of us.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

My entire being froze for a second before taking awkward little steps to his bed, right at the foot of the bed. Jude’s hazel-brown eyes were like a hawk’s during hunting – trained on my every movement.

I realised he could sense my hesitation and growing anxiety so I forced myself to take a deep breath and sit at the farthest distance from him.

And yet it felt closer than ever.

Growing tired of the fact that he was making me all flustered and bothered, I decided to lock eyes with him. The air became electric. I could literally count hours within the seconds that passed.

After a few moments, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was about to break my gaze before Jude flicked his head down, beating me to it.

At least he’s getting a taste of his medicine.

I watched him swallow several times before clearing his throat. Seemingly composed, he looked up at me, a blank slate settling on his face once more but when he spoke, his voice slightly shook. “Now…” he took a short breath. “Tell me about it.”

I knew he was talking about the book he bought me but being next to him chased all coherent thoughts away. All I could think of was how the sun’s rays struck the left side of his face giving it a rich brown-orange hue.

I looked down at my hands, determined not to look up ever again. “It’s about… well, if you remember, I – I … the prince had…”

Stop mumbling your words for heaven’s sake Oliver, I chastised myself, it‘s only Jude. You’re not talking to your middle school maths teacher.

“So you see…” I reigned my words in and took a breath. “The prince had just found out that – that the peasant was behind all the atrocities and had decided to cut her off from his life,” I whispered, wondering how Jude could even hear me.

But when I looked up, I found him slightly leaning towards me, looking intent and absolutely focused. Was he actually listening to me?

Wiping the startled look on my face, I continued, my voice slowly gaining strength. “So in this new book, the peasant has to find a way to convince the prince that it was the witch that caused all the havoc and not her but the problem is the witch has now shapeshifted into someone the prince could trust – and he actually starts to trusts her – I mean most men are gullible as long as you’re pretty but you know.”

I realised what I’d just said and glanced at Jude expecting an offended look but he still looked laser-focused on what I was saying. He looked like he was drinking in my every word.

I couldn’t risk staring at him again or else I’d lose this train of thought that I’d so desperately tried to board on so I gazed down at my palms. But a dumb smile had drawn itself across my lips.

I’d finally gotten someone to hear me word-vomit about my books and my deepest treasures. And I’d never thought it would be Jude of all people. The exhilaration was intoxicating.

And it propelled me to blurt out more. I spent almost thirty minutes explaining to him the plot -partly because I kept going on useless tangents and giving pointless opinions about the side-characters and how they either annoyed me to no end or made me want to book them a vacation to the Maldives.

And every time I looked up to see if he was paying attention, I found his gaze forever trained on me. Every time I looked up, his expression kept slowly shifting from a passive one to a completely invested, completely eager look.

“And then we finish with the prince reuniting with the peasant,” I finished with a satisfied sigh.

“But the witch succeeded in taking over the kingdom. So how is that a win?”

“It is a win because their love has endured all resistance and turmoil and they have emerged on top,” I proudly announced, sounding like a six-year-old but I didn’t care. “And that’s the tea. Uh… Jude?”

He was watching me, his lips slightly parted in a look that seemed like wonder. It was a look that was so familiar but had me racking my brain on where I’d seen it before I realised it was the same one he had when I’d first yapped to him in my room. It was the same look he had when I found out he’d bought me that book and I’d spun around like a maniac before hugging his chest.

And I did want to hug him again. And more than anything, I wanted to kiss his cheeks at how adorable he looked. I was just so over the moon at that moment.

But I had the sense to restrain myself. The rational part of my brain still had some semblance to tell me that he wouldn’t appreciate it.

Realising he was staring, he quickly shook his head and cleared his throat. “That was… an interesting story.”

“I knooooww,” I groaned, “And I have to wait for like six months for the next installment because the author is a lazy ass.”

“That lazy ass wrote like 600 pages of that book for you to be entertained,” his lips quirked. “Be grateful.”

“Well, he shouldn’t have to make us wait then,” I shot back, making Jude’s lips quirk up even more.

“Patience is a virtue that is best rewarded.”

“I don’t have to have it to be rewarded,” I said, knowing absolutely well that he was right but having a back and forth with him seemed to make him more animated.

I didn’t want to stop.

His eyes were now twinkling with something like challenge. “And what do you have to have to get a reward?”

“A heart of courage and good morals and a hot, sexy body,” I rambled before clamping my mouth shut. Damn it. He wasn’t meant to hear that last part.

Jude’s eyes darkened. His eyes roved over me from head to toe in a fast motion before flicking away to stare at the desk at his side. His jaw clenched.

I felt a small twinge of disappointment in my chest. Disappointment at myself. Jude had been so open, so inviting and I’d chosen to ruin it with my mindless yapping.

I tried reaching for words to jumpstart the conversation again but they eluded me. The air had begun to get heated all of a sudden. My neck was now a road a hundred fire ants had decided to take.

And it just happened to be the part where Jude had nuzzled in during that night in the club. It felt like ages ago. I still couldn’t believe my body hadn’t gotten past that feeling.

I rubbed the spot absentmindedly and that caught Jude’s attention. His eyes narrowed and I wasn’t prepared for what he was going to ask. “Did something happen to you with your neck? When I was drunk at the club?”

His voice sounded firm, almost demanding. It sounded like it was something that had been ruminating at the back of his mind, and he needed the answer desperately.

And looking at him, I knew I couldn’t lie to him. But I wasn’t ready to tell him. Yet. “Yes.”

“Something to do with me?” He asked

“Yes, but… I – I can’t tell you. Not right now.”

Jude was now glaring at me. It reminded me too much of the old him, the one who would dismiss and discredit me that I had to look away.

Then he released an abrupt sigh. My eyes jumped to him to see a resigned look on his face. “Okay,” he relented. “I’m – I’m sorry. I won’t ask again.”

“Jude…”

“Are you mad?” He asked, a certain vulnerability invading his voice – one I hadn’t heard since his recent confession hours ago.

What? Why would he think I’m mad?

“I…” he gazed down at his bed. ” I don’t want to be a jerk to you again.”

What the…?

“Hey,” I began gently. “You’re not a jerk. And I’m not mad. I just… I’m not ready to tell you exactly what happened. Not yet. But I will.”

The moment I said those words I knew I was being stupid. I technically wasn’t obligated to tell him anything but it seemed like something that was weighing him down.

And it seemed like such a small thing compared to us kissing in RockWater Mall but he’d done it when he was drunk. He wasn’t in control of himself.

Plus I also had a lot of questions I’d been meaning to ask him all this time I was in his room, especially concerning him and Rick but I hadn’t wanted to disrupt what I thought was finally such a sweet, enjoyable moment between us.

And now wasn’t the time to talk about whatever happened at the club.

Jude was still brooding and I wanted to see any other expression on his face again.

“I could tell you about another book I read,” I lightly suggested. “It’s called A Tale of Two Knights. It’s about these two brothers who become knights of opposing armies.”

The effect was almost instantaneous. He perked up at the statement, his face not quite thrilled but almost very eager. His fingers thrummed to life on his bed before, with seemingly tremendous effort, he restrained himself.

I couldn’t resist smiling. I started describing the beginning of the plot before something in my pants buzzed and I realised it was my phone. Fishing it from my pocket, I looked to see that my mom was calling me.

I picked it up. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hey, pumpkin,” she said. Her voice sounded urgent. “There’s been an emergency. I need you here right now.”

I stood from the bed. “What emergency?”

“You’ll have to come see for yourself.”

Extra points for being vague. I almost rolled my eyes but I said, “Fine.”

“And hurry.”

She hung up.

I faced Jude. “I have to go. My mom needs me right now.”

I must have imagined it but I thought I saw disappointment in his eyes. Before I could be sure, he blinked and whatever it was vanished.

He nodded.

I turned, about to leave before he suddenly choked out a word. It took me a few seconds to realise he’d just said ‘Wait’.

“Can I have your number?” He said, the words leaving his mouth in quick succession.

I thought he was toying with me but he looked dead serious about what he was asking.

Oh my gosh. My stomach churned. My mind went completely blank. I asked for his phone and, in a daze, input the digits. I had to repeat the process several times because, for some reason, I kept forgetting the last two digits.

“I’ll see you when I see you,” I said.

Jude nodded but his eyes told a different story. He was silently pleading with me to stay. His left hand held his beddings in a tight grip.

Without thinking, I did something so insane I wondered how I’d gotten away with it. Personally, I blame Jude because had he not looked like a baby seal crying for help, I wouldn’t have done it.

I walked up to him in big strides before encircling my arms around him in a brief, tight hug. He froze for just a sec before allowing himself to melt in my arms just slightly.

I drew back just in time to catch his bewildered look before turning on my heels and exiting his room, my mind in a haze.

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Bitch the way I struggled with writing this chapter OMG. Writing is truly a muscle and mine seemed to have worn out lmao.

Anyways, my pookies are finally friends! Took only 40+ chap but ya know.

I’m going to take a short break to properly outline the rest of this book because god forbid this book finds itself littered with plot holes. I would kms.

See ya 💋