Chapter 24

OLIVER

I glanced at my phone again, watching my sixth call to Rick go into voicemail.

To say I was worried about him would be an understatement. It’s been two days since Jude completely disappeared. I could not wipe that expression he had when I last saw him-a canvas of misery and piercing pain cemented on his face.
He mentioned his Dad’s body. Had something happened to it? Rick never remotely mentions anything about his dad other than his apparent death. I didn’t even know when he died but I never pressed Rick about it.

“He died,” he had said one time while we played monopoly, “I moved on. My mom and Jude didn’t.”

Oh Jude….

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned for him too. At this point, I didn’t know what to feel about him. I didn’t like him but I didn’t hate him. And I was anything but indifferent to him. I could still picture him defending me before Lionel and hiding me from his awful friends.

And worst of all? I could never forget Rockwater mall.

My eyes shut, and I allowed the memories to overcome me. Jude wanted to stop. He wanted to stop what we were doing because of my panic attack.

I turned to the other side of the bed. What did that mean? Did he care about me? Why did he care about my feelings? Then, after all that, when I was leaving with Rick, I thought I spotted a sense of guilt in his eyes. Almost like he was ashamed. Then his look turned indifferent once again, like it always was with me, with everyone he didn’t care about.

I fisted my hands on my pillow. My frustration was at a boiling point. I couldn’t deal with these mixed signals. I’d made a mental pact with myself not to allow what happened with Lionel to happen again. And yet it was happening again. With Judah Adams of all people.

My phone suddenly buzzed, and I sat right up. My heart was doing jumping jacks. Was it Rick? My eyes landed on the screen.

**NOTIFICATION***
ThemisadventuresofCasey_ posted a video on their story.

I tried to control the frown that was forming on my face together with a feeling of disappointment that it wasn’t Rick responding.

I clicked on Casey’s story and all thoughts of Rick disappeared, replaced instead by an ugly shadow of FOMO.

My bed felt prickly, and for the first time, deeply uncomfortable. My hand gripped my phone loosely, my eyes on Casey’s instagram story. It was a one minute long video within which a dark background could be seen filled with dim purple lights. Tons of music crackled loudly. I could see a lot of people but their figures were blurry.

Halfway through the video, and without warning, the video cut to Casey’s grinning face.

“Hey, pookies,” He said, “This is my fifth shot and it’s still not hitting.” He brought a cup of what was obviously liquor into view.

“Sixth,” a voice next to him corrected. JJ’s face came into view, his umber red locs a bright contrast to the dark background. I couldn’t quite clearly make out his expression but he seemed to grin a bit. “Ssup.” He said to the phone.

Casey blew him a kiss and immediately bent down towards JJ. He angled his camera so we, as the audience, could have a clear-cut view of his butt. JJ gripped his back as Casey began to grind on him…

And the screen went black. His story had ended.

A mixture of slight revulsion and longing swirled in my gut. I didn’t like grinding that much-not that I had any experience-but my room was beginning to feel like a blackhole sucking all my joy. It also didn’t help that, with all going on, I was inwardly spiralling into psychosis.

Casey was right. I needed a distraction. Desperately.

I got off my bed, heading to my bookshelf. My eyes roved over my book collection. There had to be a book I haven’t read about.

Fifteen minutes later, I still hadn’t found a book to read. I, quite literally, have finished reading all these books a long time ago.

I clutched my hair and screamed, flopping onto my bed. With Rick ignoring me, Jude bothering my head and Casey inducing FOMO, I was indeed about to explode. A distant part of my brain giggled, wondering if it would be fun to explode.

I looked at my purple heart-shaped clock on the wall.

9:15 pm.

A sigh left my lips. A heavy weight of boredom pressed against the side of my head. My eyes wandered aimlessly until it landed on my closet. A bunch of my clothes were peaking out but one caught my eye. At first, I didn’t recognize it because I’d never worn it but there it was-A purple long sleeved romper bedazzled with glitter and gems draped over a grey ruddy shirt. It had been a gift by Rick on my 19th birthday but I refused to wear it because it was too flamboyant for my taste.

An image of Casey grinding on JJ flashed once again in my head but, instead of Casey, it was me wearing that purple romper, the music booming in my ears, my hips swaying with the music, my head absolutely free from everything…

I shook my head. This was a bad idea. My mom would kill me if she found out I went to a club.

Another notification popped on my phone.

**NOTIFICATION***
ThemisadventuresofCasey posted a video on his story.

I gazed at the romper once more. It seemed to be pulling me closer and closer, lifting me off my feet. A wave of determination washed over me.

I stood and made my way towards it…