Chapter 13

JUDE

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Shit shit shit.

I exited the washroom, my legs on autopilot; mindlessly steering me into God knows where.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit.

That word was ringing in my mind like it wanted to remind me I was from the washrooms. Where guys emptied their shit.

I could still see him staring at me in the bathroom stall. I could still see myself lowering my head slower and slower towards his lips. God he looked amazing in those skinny jeans. Did he always have such thick thighs? He always wore baggy clothing so I assumed…

Stop it Jude, I admonished myself. You’re straight. You’re…straight?

Fuck what just happened? Did I really…

My ears rang with the sound of my fist connecting with Lionel’s nose.

A lot of shit had happened in a short span of time. Among those was me hitting Lionel.

Why had I hit him?

Or more importantly, why did my heart start beating so fast when I found him forcing himself on Oliver?

Was it the fact Oliver was my brother’s friend? I didn’t like the guy but he was Rick’s buddy.

Yeah maybe it’s that.

Still, I didn’t like the way my heart had pounded when Lionel’s lips were on Oliver’s neck. Why my hand twitched when Lionel said Oliver and I were fucking. Why I dragged him into a stall when I heard Liam and Gregory coming.

Why did I do that? Was I truly high like Oliver suggested? All I could think of was how much I called Oliver sensitive for taking my insults towards him so seriously. And then at that moment Liam and Greg were approaching. I’d heard them call Oliver and others things much worse. I couldn’t let them see him.

Crap. Do I care for Oliver? Like hell I do.

I walked past the cafeteria, on my way to practice. No doubt Liam was waiting for me, eager to claim his bet.

“Judeeeeeee,” Someone’s voice rang behind me.

I stopped short and turned just in time for my gaze to land on three freshman girls who were rushing out of the cafeteria to meet me. Two were blonde and one had auburn hair. Two I unfortunately recognised: Crystal(one of the blondes) and Maddie(the auburn haired one)

How did I know them? Because I had fucked them when they had just entered college. Shit were they friends? If I had known that, I never would have banged them.

“Judeee,” Maddie said again before launching herself at me. Her hands wrapped around my torso but I made no attempt to return the hug.

Maddie stepped back before roving her eyes all over my body shamelessly. She twirled her finger around her hair, her eyes batting seductively. “I missed you. It’s been a week since we talked. I’m starting to think you’re ignoring me.”

Probably cause I am, I thought, almost rolling my eyes.

The other blonde who I didn’t know, whispered something to Crystal who giggled. I heard the words big dick, the strong silent type and something weird along the lines.

Oh boy.

I rubbed my head awkwardly. “Hey. Um, I’m kind of in a hurry for practice…”

Crystal smiled, “Oh we totally understand. We were just wondering if…” Her eyes dropped down, her voice faltering.

“If?” I raised an eyebrow.

“If…” she smiled shyly, avoiding my eyes.

“If you were free tonight,” Maddie interjected, shooting Crystal a vague look before smiling dazzlingly at me. “We wanted to introduce you to our friend Stacy.” She gestured at the other blonde who waved shyly at me. “We’re having a sleepover at Crystal’s place, just the three of us and-“

“And you want me to come,” I finished.

“Yeah,” She grinned devilishly at me.

I knew what she wanted. A foursome with her other friend.

I looked at Stacy with a bit more scrutiny. She was short, a bit plump with green eyes. As I focused on her face, it started to morph and I was looking at plump lips.

Oliver’s lips.

I blinked and she looked normal.

“I gotta go,” I turned hastily, my heart in my mouth.

“Wait, are you coming? Jude? Jude!” Maddie yelled but I was already gone. Her viice seemed so faraway.

“Shit,” I said as I rounded the next corner. The running course came into view. I could already see my friends doing warmups.

Not again, I thought. Will this shit happen everytime I look at a girl? I must be going mad. Why is this happening to me?

Fuck this.

You are fucking him, Lionel’s voice resonated in my head, you’re a faggot too.

My fist landed on the wall before I knew it. A flash of pain jolted in my forearm. Why hadn’t I refuted that dickhead’s claim? Why did I just stand there? I’m not gay. I’m not.

My breath was coming out in rapid bursts. I probably looked more exhausted than the guys in practice. Come to think of it, I’d never been this short of breath, even after running 12 laps around my school’s track.

Oliver’s face was now fading in my mind though my breath did not slow down.

I was damn tired of this. I needed to talk to someone.

I padded my feet towards practice, hoping that they wouldn’t notice my current state much less ask me why I looked like that.

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Conflicted emotions and confusion. =) Hope you enjoyed.