Chapter 67

It hadn’t taken much convincing. Ryan told me Monica’s having a party 2nite, Jacky had texted Cody. Want another black eye?

Nina will be there?

I’m sure

And Welch?

Probably

Cody had shown up on Jacky’s doorstep five minutes later.

“Have you talked to Nina after last weekend?” Jacky asked him. The black eye had faded to a dull purple.

“We’ve been texting.” Cody had a goofy smile on his face. “Mostly she talks about what a jerk Matt is.”

“So, um, you haven’t told her how you feel?”

“Dude, I kissed her. Actions speak louder than words, my friend.”

“You should have asked to her go out tonight. Then you wouldn’t have to go to a party where Matt would be.”

“Uh, no. You think I should?”

Jacky glanced at the time on his phone. “She’s probably already at Monica’s.”

“Then let’s go.”

“Do you really think this is a good idea?” Jacky asked.

“No.” Cody laughed. “But come on. My life foundation is made of bad ideas.”

They walked over to Monica’s. Cars lined the street and all the lights were on at the Johnstons, illuminating groups of people smoking out on the porch. Jacky shivered in his leather jacket. He hung back behind Cody as they approached the front door.

What if Ryan didn’t want him there, at the party? Who was Jacky going to talk to when Cody found Nina, especially if Ryan didn’t want to talk to him?

He felt himself start to warm with a sudden anger.

At the very least, he was Ryan’s friend. Ryan could treat him like a friend, if nothing more.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jacky heard as soon as he and Cody set foot inside.

Lance glowered at Cody.

“Uh,” said Cody. He took a step back and bumped into Jacky.

“Didn’t you cause enough trouble last time?” Alex added.

“What, are you Welch’s bodyguards?” Jacky said. “We have as much right to be here as you guys.” Why did he say that?

“Yeah, okay.” Alex’s sarcasm laid down the law. He poked a finger into Cody’s chest. “You fuck around with someone else’s girlfriend, that makes you an asshole. That fight last weekend put two holes in the wall of my living room, and I had to pay to get those fixed. I could have made you pay for it, but I’m a nice guy. I’m not so sure Monica’s dad would let you get away with that.”

“Who says I’m gonna fight anybody?” Cody said. “Why didn’t you ask Welch to pay for that shit? He’s the one who started it.”

“No, you started it—” Lance began to say, and then Ryan showed up.

“What’s going on?” he asked, looking at his friends, then noticing Jacky standing behind Cody.

“We were just asking these assholes to leave before they start another fight,” said Lance. “I know Monica didn’t invite them here.”

“We’re leaving, we’re leaving.” Jacky tugged at Cody’s arm.

“Dyusha?” Jacky heard. He wanted to close his eyes and open them to find himself someplace else. This had been the absolute worst idea ever.

“Great,” muttered Alex.

“Sorry,” said Ryan, stepping into the middle. “I invited Jacky. I didn’t realize he’d be bringing Mitchell along.”

For a moment, what Ryan said didn’t quite sink in. Ryan invited me? Jacky thought, then understood. Ryan was lying, so Jacky wouldn’t get kicked out of the party. Elation passed through him, made him feel light as air.

“You invited him?” Lance repeated, jerking his thumb at Jacky.

“Yeah.” Ryan looked levelly at Lance. “He’s my friend.”

Jacky floated along on a wave of happiness, barely registering when Nina pushed her way through the wall of jock and grabbed Cody. “We must talk, Codymitchell,” she snapped, and hauled him into the house.

“Ooh, she’s pissed,” said someone Jacky couldn’t see.

This left Jacky standing behind Ryan, facing a now confused Lance and Alex.

“Okay,” said Alex. He turned and picked up a half-empty red Solo cup.

“Okay?” Ryan asked Lance.

Jacky didn’t know what was going on between Ryan and Lance. He was too happy to care. This was even better than he’d hoped for. Even better than the Halloween party.

“Okay. You want a drink?” Lance asked.

Ryan nudged Jacky, and suddenly Jacky realized Lance had been talking to him. “Oh. Yeah, sure.” Lance was getting him a drink? What the hell was going on?

As the three of them headed into the kitchen, Ryan pressed his hand into Jacky’s back and guided Jacky in front of him. Ryan’s breath tickled his ear. “Hi,” he said.

Jacky couldn’t stop smiling.

Neither could Cody. He came out of the woodwork about an hour later, his hair mussed up, and told Jacky they should probably leave. Jacky didn’t ask any questions. He hadn’t minded standing around the kitchen with his elbow touching Ryan’s while watching other people play beer pong and talking to Darius Cruz, who was excited about Jacky attempting soccer. “Give me a call,” Darius told him. “For real, we can kick the ball around.” But he knew he wasn’t going to be making out with Ryan tonight. Still, he felt like they had made some progress.

Jacky had to steer Cody along the sidewalks. “Did you and Nina just make out, or were you smoking?” he asked.

“Both,” said Cody.

He was all ready to drop Cody off at his house, but then Cody wanted him to go out to the trailer. “Come on,” Cody said, tugging on Jacky’s empty sleeve. Using it like a leash, Cody led him back to the camper and shoved Jacky inside, then stood in the doorway.

“Dude.” Cody looked like he was about to lay down a speech, so Jacky sat down and waited. And waited.

“You gonna say something?”

“Yeah, hold on. I forgot what it was for a second. Dude. Okay. So, like, aside from that being about the best night ever,” Cody began, “what’s up with you and Ryan?”

“What do you mean?” Jacky asked.

“Like,” Cody made his face look stoic and serious, “He’s my friend. Yeah? You guys are ‘just friends’?”

Jacky frowned. “I told you, he’s not out to his friends yet.”

“Come on, man. You’ve been with him for like three weeks. How long you gonna be his little secret?”

“It’s not like that,” Jacky said.

“It isn’t? What’s it like, then?”

Jacky clenched his teeth together and glared at Cody.

“Whoa, dude.” Cody held up his hands. “Come on. I’m your friend too. Like Ryan, apparently.”

“What, you finally kiss the girl you’ve had a crush on for like three years and now you’re the expert on relationships?” Jacky snapped, standing up. “Fuck you.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re pissed about it. I would be too, if the person I was dating didn’t even sit with me at lunch.”

“Nina doesn’t always sit with us!” Jacky yelled.

“I’m saying you deserve someone who fucking acknowledges you,” said Cody.

“You’re one to talk! I notice Nina didn’t exactly kiss you in front of everyone.”

“Obviously, dude! She doesn’t want Matt to freaking punch me again. She cares about me, okay?” Cody looked at him for a minute. “Look, I’m not saying Ryan doesn’t care about you, or whatever.”

“I’m going home,” said Jacky, trying to shoulder past Cody.

Cody, however, shoved him back. “Don’t leave pissed, dude. Come on. Bro code. Ho’s before bros… wait, reverse that…”

“Fuck the bro code!” Jacky growled. But some of his anger had died down. He flopped down on the couch and jiggled his leg. Cody sat down on the other end of the couch. “He’s going through a lot of stuff right now,” Jacky said finally. “His mom died.”

“What does his mom have to do with you?” Cody asked.

Nothing, Jacky thought. He didn’t want to say it. He didn’t want Cody to be right about Ryan. “He has a lot going on,” Jacky repeated. “He has to come out to his friends. And then he’ll tell them we’re dating.”

“You didn’t even have to ‘come out’,” said Cody. “Everybody knew you were gay.”

“Well, pretty much no one knows Ryan is gay. Think about it, all those football players finding out Ryan’s gay?”

“Isn’t Tyler Gomez on the football team?”

Jacky sighed. “It’s different for Ryan.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, it just is!” Jacky stood up again. “He said he needed some time.”

“So you’re just gonna wait for him?”

It sounded so cliché. Jacky had heard of stories like this, mostly from online friends, the secret relationship, the promise that they would come out, and then it all ends before that ever happens. In one of Jacky’s favorite books, too, now that he was thinking about it – The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Maybe he’d have to read that again.

But Jacky knew Ryan wasn’t a liar, despite the fact that Ryan had lied tonight. Ryan had lied to protect him. Ryan would keep his word. “Yeah. I’m gonna wait.”