Chapter 44

Trigger warning: This chapter contains brief mentions of homophobic slur and assault.

OLIVER

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The loneliness and boredom hit me like a landslide of Basalt as soon as I stepped outside. Even the cool autumn air could do nothing to calm my thoughts.

Staring blankly into the distance, the Rick and Casey sized holes in my heart expanded into an ache that stole my breath. With a start, I slowly realised that this would be the first day I hadn’t seen or talked to them both.

A picture of Casey being bored out of his mind popped in my head. I could just imagine him later complaining about how the class wanted to make him jump out the window.

I looked down, blinking back tears. I had no idea why it was suddenly hitting me and I hated it. I hated being caught off guard.

And I hated that it was all my fault that they weren’t my friends anymore.

Clenching my fists, I forced myself to calm down, focusing on the indecipherable weight of the application form in my bag. A part of me wondered why it was giving me a sense of clarity.

After a count of ten, the loneliness receded like a spent wave until it was nothing more than a persistent small knock in the back of my head. I despised the fact that I couldn’t get rid of it but that would have to do.

I checked the time on my phone. 2:30 p.m.

I was skipping class but, at the same time, I knew Casey would be there. Nevertheless, I was done thinking about him.

I needed a break from my thoughts and while the loneliness had reduced, I was still very much bored out of my mind. It was the logical reason to leave for home early on these types of days but a stubborn part of me wanted to entertain myself.

For the first time, I realised with a discomfort that I wanted to stay at school to be… productive.

The absolute horror.

I could just imagine my mom invisibly laughing over my shoulder.

My eyes idly floated over the scene in my school – flying across manicured lawns, students walking on concrete paths, hot sweaty sportsmen training on the fields per usual…

Wait a minute. Hot, sweaty sportsmen training on the fields?

I could think of one who might be there right now. One who’s been bothering my mind ever since he texted me. A part of me still yearned to practically teleport back home and lose myself to my books – which I was assured of would never abandon me…

But I also liked talking about them. And I could also think of a person who liked listening to me mindlessly chatter about them.

Whenever you want, he’d promised.

I focused on the training fields once more before scurrying towards them…

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Using the route we sometimes frequented with Casey to ogle sportsmen train turned out to be both a blessing and a curse.

It intersected the soccer field and, scrunching my nose, I realised I was now avoiding two people from that area.

The blessing? I could reach the track and field athletes training facility in no time. And it looked amazing. A long oval track with eight straight lanes ran before curving into two semi-circular curves at both ends. A well-trimmed outburst of green lay at its centre in which multiple athletes were doing all sorts of warm ups and drills.

I glanced back, half-expecting Jude to be trailing behind me like he did the last time I was here – when he bought me my new favourite book.

But he wasn’t.

Despite that, a small smile was beginning to etch itself on my face. My heart was catching up to my eyes at how much I was searching for him and how much I wanted to see him.

I wouldn’t be surprised if I had unconsciously used the excuse to be productive in school just to stay and see him, to hear his lovely deep voice…

Stop it Oliver. We are just friends. Newly found friends. And newly found friends didn’t think of the other as having a voice that could carry you into the clouds and shake your bones out and…

I lightly slapped my left cheek before forcing myself to hop off the overthinking train. Rubbing off the slight sting, I caught some stares from a few of what I would reckon were Jude’s teammates who were coming outside from their locker rooms, fully dressed in training wear.

My cheeks inflated with the heat of embarrassment. I scampered away from their sight but not before accidentally eavesdropping on their conversation:

“I’m nervous as fuck Edgar,” I heard one admit, “You think I’m gonna make the official team? I’ve been working my ass off for this.”

“Relax, man. You have another three days to train well before the try-out races begin.”

A gravelly voice spoke that almost made me turn but it couldn’t be him. “Easy for you to say,”You’ve been on Coach’s good side all season.”

“I still have to race so I can qualify dork,” the second guy said, with a calm voice that gained an edge the more he spoke. “And there are guys like Rojas and Jude who’ll give me a run for my money.”

“Jude’s been out of form lately,” another guy whispered almost sadistically. “Even I might have a chance to beat him.”

“As if. Jude’s worst day is still leagues above your best.” One countered.

The other guys snickered, their voices getting fainter.

“…maybe he’s losing form because that…” the distance warbled his voice. “threw himself all over…” They zoomed out of earshot.

But my mind was whirling. From the way they spoke, they made it seem like Jude was such a big shot in this running gimmick. I mean, he was a renowned sportsman in our school but I didn’t realise how big he was in this regard, even to his own teammates.

And Jude losing form? I didn’t like what that implied.

Nevertheless, I slinked back, keeping an eye on the entrance to their locker rooms.

But he never came out.

Where was he?

I strained my eyes, my heart beginning to fall. If he hadn’t come to train, I don’t know what I would feel but it wouldn’t be good.

My eyes landed on the small, circular field of grass I’d noted before – where some athletes had been doing warm-ups and where the guys that had been conversing were headed to

I decided to follow them, keeping my distance and trying to keep the hope that Jude might be there ignited. Reaching the edge of the tracks, I scanned the green outburst, my heart dropping further.

And then I spotted him across the field on the other side. His face was too far to properly discern but I knew without a doubt it was Jude based on his lean broad chest, height, and rich mahogany skin.

Yes! Finally.

Barely controlling my excitement, I rushed towards him, almost colliding with several training athletes but I didn’t care. Within twenty feet, I came to a halt, my eyes landing on him. And he wasn’t alone. A familiar face was in deep conversation with him -none other than his buddy Ruan.

So they really are teammates.

Seeing Ruan made me remember his comic books in Jude’s room and, in turn, made me also remember what Francis stated about Marcus being a comic book enthusiast. The fact that those two had that in common was so random that it pulled me out of my mini-overthinking spiral.

My eyes slid back to Jude. He sported a casual grey T-shirt but when my gaze lowered, I had to force myself to calm down. He was wearing those same skin-tight shorts as last time but luckily he had another loose pair of black shorts over them so that the skin-tight ones ended up slightly peeking out.

Ruan sported a similar red T shirt and white shorts but his were slightly longer. He bent down and touched his feet in a stretch. “…You’re alright, man,” he was saying, “Coach said you’ve improved.”

I watched as Jude flexed his shoulders before grabbing his arm one at a time in elaborate stretches. “It’s still not enough.”

“What do you mean?”

He took a moment of silence to finish his stretches before focusing on Ruan again. “I’m not as fast as I was last year and you know that.”

Ruan shrugged. “Maybe, but you’re still crazy fast. If you ask me you’re being hard on yourself.”

He followed Jude’s previous stretches but my eyes were disgustingly trained on Jude as he switched his stretch routine to his legs. I drank in every moment, realising I would never get tired of how his arms, and especially his legs were deliciously toned and wired.

My mind however jumped back to their conversation.

“I’m slow, Ruan. Slow as shit,” he lamented. “If I hadn’t let go of myself with drinking alcohol and stuff maybe this wouldn’t have happened. And if I don’t make the team next week – “

“Hey,” Ruan’s tone became gentle yet as sharp as a butcher’s cleave. “You’re going to make the team. And you’re going to win the state championships.”

Jude suddenly looked down, his hands tightening into fists. I could only see his back but I knew his face had fallen.

My heart sank. I didn’t know he’d been dealing with this for a long time. I wanted to walk up and envelop him in a hug but I’d resolve not to do that anymore.

I could only watch.

It was obviously telling how Ruan wanted to clap a comforting hand on Jude’s shoulder but even he looked reluctant. He let Jude have his space, have his silence until finally he spoke once more, his voice hardening with resolve. “I’m going to wake up early every day from now till the tryout race.”

Ruan sighed dramatically. It was clear they’d had this conversation at least once. He massaged his temples, muttering something in spanish.

“And I’m going to train extra fucking hard. As early as now. No relaxing. No breathing. Just running and working out – “

“And you’ll exhaust yourself so much you won’t have the energy to run on that day. Don’t be stupid.”

Jude huffed. His chest was rising and falling fast, his shoulders tense.

“Then what else am I supposed to do?” He whispered in an almost tired tone.

Ruan turned to fully face him, his eyebrows furrowed in deep concern and exasperation. “Realise you’ve already done enough. And don’t do something stupid like exhausting yourself before the race. Don’t – ” He trailed off, his eyes finally landing on me. “Uh….”

Jude’s head snapped to him before following his gaze. He turned to face me, his eyes going completely wide before flinching.

“Hi,” I gave them a timid wave.

Both continued to stare at me.

I bit my cheek, instantly wishing to be a badgermole and disappear into the earth right then and there. After overhearing them, this definitely turned out to be the worst time to talk to any of them.

Before the stunned silence turned awkward, Ruan broke it first which was a relief. He offered a fist bump with a small, lopsided grin. “Hey… Oliver, right? We met at the cafe that one time.”

Warm pleasantness tingled in my chest at the fact that he actually remembered me before I brushed it off. I returned his fist bump, feeling a bit awkward as fist bumps weren’t usually my thing. “Yeah. I remember you too.”

“How’s Vanessa?”

“She’s…” I trailed off, realising we hadn’t spoken to each other in a while. I contemplated lying to him but something about Ruan’s face drew out my unabashed honesty.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I’m assuming she’s okay. Didn’t you get her number?”

“Oh, we’ve been talking a lot,” he stated proudly. “I wanted to take her out on a date, but apparently, she has a boyfriend so that’s not happening.”

A potentially cheating boyfriend, I thought.

He caressed his chin, muttering to himself. “Is it weird if I take her out on a friendship date? Since we’re still friends and…”

His next words fell on dead, rotting ears. I turned to Jude but he was still looking at me as if I’d just dropped from the sky.

After a moment, however, he seemed to realise how rude it would be to keep staring especially after Ruan conversed with me. Within a second, the stunned look disappeared as he cleared his throat and composed himself

“Hi,” he said, his voice gaining a subtle low depth.

An awkward pause hung between us.

“So,” he cleared his throat again, “What brings you here?”

I opened my mouth but no sound came out. Now that I was literally right in front of him, I couldn’t summon any strength to speak.

It also didn’t help that the world seemed to tilt at how much Jude was now paying attention to me like I was the only interesting thing in the field.

“I – I…”

My eyes decided to become flighty. I couldn’t manage to keep eye contact with him so I decided to stare at the outline of his defined chest underneath his T-shirt – which didn’t help with my concentration.

“I came here…came here to…”

Jude’s earlier words punched their way back in my head. I’m going to train extra fucking hard. As early as now. No relaxing. No breathing. Just running and working out.

I turned my head away from him. “This was a mistake.”

“What was a mistake?” He asked.

“It’s just…you’re obviously so busy and…”

Another silence floated between us. From the corner of my eye, I spotted Ruan’s eyes gliding back and forth between me and Jude, his expression becoming increasingly puzzled.

Tell him.

But you’re being selfish, a rogue part of me thought You know he wants to train more than anything. He has a race on Monday.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to meet his gaze. “I came here to tell you about that book I was telling you about that day. A Tale of Two Knights.”

Now that the words had left my mouth, a stab of shame threatened to knock me over.

Jude looked as if his breath was caught. A rush of what looked like thrill and joy sprung in his eyes before vanishing so fast I thought I had hallucinated it. His fingers twitched.

After a moment, sounding as if he were breathless, he said, “You can tell me about it now.”

I tilted my head in plain confusion. What in the world?

“But you need to train,” I reminded him, “I heard all about your race and it’s next week…”

“I can skip today.”

“Wait a goddamn minute,” someone spoke beside us and with a start I realised it was Ruan. I’d completely forgotten he was there at all.

He made a time-out sign before pointing an aggressive finger at Jude. “You want to skip training today? Are you crazy? You’ve been going on for so long about how serious you’re going to take this week’s sessions that it’s been blowing my brains out. And now you want to back out?”

Clearly Jude had also forgotten Ruan was here because a faint scowl of annoyance and frustration dotted his face.

“And,” Ruan continued, “you dragged me here today to specifically help you with your reps and time your sprints.”

Jude’s cheeks slightly swelled. He glanced at the ground before meeting Ruan’s gaze. “I can afford to miss today.”

Ruan’s jaw dropped. He glanced at me as if truly seeing me for the first time before dragging his eyes back to Jude, looking as if he were witnessing toadstools grow out of our eyes.

I couldn’t help but share his look of bewilderment. What necessitated this abrupt change of motive? And I doubt it’s because my books are that interesting or that I was such an entertaining narrator.

Ruan continued to stare at Jude with that extremely puzzled look before deciding enough was enough. “You’re not ditching me today. Or I’m telling coach.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Jude frowned. “But you’ve ditched me plenty of times.”

Ruan rolled his eyes. “I’ve never done it a week before an important race. Be fucking serious.”

Jude’s jaw tightened. He locked eyes with Ruan in a battle of wills, the air becoming tense.

I couldn’t think of what to say to diffuse the situation but luckily a loud, male voice barked interrupting us.

“Warm – ups are over, lads,” roared a middle-aged stout man from across the field. Even from here, I could see the grey hairs on his beard. “Get your asses off into the tracks and do your work. We got a big race next week. Go, go, go!”

The other athletes got to their feet with tons of grumbling and muttering under their breath, heading towards the open and carefully lined tracks.

Jude’s gaze snapped back to Ruan, meeting his eyes but he clearly wasn’t budging. He ran his hands through his curls, clearly frustrated.

Ruan crossed his arms. “See? Coach has even higher expectations this week.”

“It’s not even the week to the state championships,” Jude grumbled, staring at the ground.

“Yeah but he’ll be choosing the ultimate team to race those championships by next week,” Ruan stated in a matter -of -fact tone. “And you want to be in that team right?”

“More than anything,” he grudgingly admitted under his breath.

“Then it’s settled.”

Jude exhaled deeply. “Fine.” He glanced at Ruan. “Give me ten minutes. I want to talk to Oliver.”

“Estas locos. Are you kidding me?”

“Just listen,” he snapped. “Distract Coach as long as possible so he doesn’t realise I’m MIA. Then, I’ll come as soon as you know it.”

Ruan looked as if he wanted to argue but the firm set of Jude’s lips must have told him he’d compromised with Jude as much as he could. He studied me, an unreadable look crossing his face before jogging towards the direction of their coach.

Leaving me alone with Jude.

He watched Ruan until he was out of earshot before his attention snapped back to me, his gaze softening. “So, you can finally tell me about it.”

“No, Jude.” I crossed my arms. “I’m not. Now go train.”

I didn’t know where this stubbornness was coming from but I knew I wasn’t going to come between what he loved most.

“You’re not serious.”

I fixed him with a deadpanned look.

He sighed, moving closer. The eaten distance between us suddenly elicited that image of his bewildered look after I had hugged him.

I took a step back. I didn’t want to make things any weirder between us.

Jude scowled. He tried moving closer again but I took another small step back.
Frustration flashed in his eyes, along with something else. Something that looked like hurt.

His jaw clenched and before I could be sure, it vanished leaving me confused. His face hardened but I stayed firm.

“You need to train,” I pressed.

He wrenched his gaze away from me, the glower still painted on his face. It was all so mind-boggling. He was treating all this, like it was world-ending. Like if he didn’t get to hear about my book, he would spontaneously combust.

Then he surprised me with a deep sigh. He looked back at me. “How about I stop at your place after I finish training?”

I locked eyes with him. Biggest mistake. It was times like this that I despised how expressive his eyes could be. He pleaded with them more than his words ever could.

“Fine,” I relented. “When exactly are you – “

“Jude!” Someone yelled from our left. A group of athletes were coming towards our direction. At first, they looked unfamiliar but as they came closer I realised with a sting of disgust in my mouth that I recognised one of them – Liam. The loudmouthed athlete Jude and I hid from in the restrooms.

And he was extremely homophobic.

My knees quaked. I needed to get out of here.

He and his friend came to stand beside us, their eyes on Jude. Being next to us made me realise how shockingly tall he was, even next to Jude.

“Hey, my dude,” he clapped his hand Jude’s shoulder. “Coach wants all of us at the tracks.”

Jude’s mouth had formed a hard line. It must have been my imagination or I thought he sent Liam a cold look before he said, “Sure. I’ll meet you there.”

Liam cast me a curious glance. “Who’s this?”

Jude stiffened at the statement. There was something off about how he suddenly couldn’t meet my eyes but I didn’t dwell on it too much.

Liam crossed his arms, waiting.

When it became clear that none of us were going to volunteer that information, he rubbed his neck, deciding to ignore me. “I know I was a douche when I won that bet against you last month. No hard feelings though?”

Jude shifted on his feet, looking as if he were wishing Liam had been anywhere but right where we were.

With a hand still on Jude’s shoulder, Liam continued. “Noticed you’ve been out of form lately.”

“Yeah, man,” added his friend – a tall guy with a sharp nose and crooked teeth. “With what that Oliver guy did to you, I would be out of it too.”

My blood ran cold in an instant. My ears rang. A grim sense of foreboding beat in my veins, my heart threatening to fall out.

It had to be a different Oliver.

It had to be.

“Shut up, Jamie. Don’t you realise how inconsiderate it is to mention assault to a victim?” Liam rolled his eyes, before mockingly pointing him to Jude like can you believe this guy?

“Wait,” Jude pushed Liam’s hand off his shoulder. “What do you mean by assault? And this Oliver guy? What the fuck are you guys talking about?”

Liam’s other friend -Jamie or whatever- offered him a sympathetic look. “You don’t need to beat around the bush. We know what happened.”

“What happened?” Jude snapped, his voice clipped and nearly booming.

“You’re really gonna make us say it?”

Jude said nothing. Instead, he bore their eyes into them, waiting.

Liam sighed heavily. He shared a look with his friend before facing Jude. “Heard this gay guy drugged you in the restrooms before having his fucking way with you.” He spat the word ‘gay’ like it was a piece of mouldy gum he had stepped on.

“Some dude named Oliver,” his friend confirmed.

“Apparently, he’s been doing that to a lot of athletes,” Liam growled. “Did it to Lionel too while he was with you. He barely escaped but you weren’t so lucky.”

Jude went utterly still but my mind spun at the mention of Lionel. And what he had said about me. With a metal taste in my mouth, I remembered the events of the restroom between Jude, Lionel and me.

But it hadn’t happened that way. It hadn’t…

“We’ve been looking for that piece of shit but Oliver is such a common name,” Liam clarified, “Lionel said he had a mop of brown hair like your friend here.” He nodded at me.

Jude met my eyes, silently pleading for me to leave but it felt like I was looking at them, at the world with a sense of nausea and vertigo that deepened the more I stared. As they continued speaking, their voices sounded more and more like they were coming from the end of a long pipe.

“….when we catch him, he’ll learn to keep his little fairy hands to himself and – “

“Hey!” Rang a rough, familiar voice and I realised it was their coach. “What did I say about slinking back like some lazy sloths? Two more extra sprints for all of you!”

There was a flurry of footsteps and before I realised it, Liam and his friend had scurried off.

“Oliver,” Jude’s voice echoed. “Oliver are you okay?”

I felt him grab my arm, making me flinch out of whatever I had going on. My breath quickened, coming out in rapid, short bursts.

“I’ll figure this out,” He assured me in a low voice. “Go home.”

I couldn’t hear him.

“Go home, okay?” He repeated.

I nodded, my eyes almost glazing over him. I turned and walked. Walked out of the field. Walked until I was out of school. Walked until I reached home.

And still, I couldn’t shake the feeling of shock.

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This chapter was long as shit, OMG.

But the plot is thickening. Lemme know your thoughts on this chapter. Plus I made a few changes in the last chapter because it was in dire need of editing.

Thank you as always for reading my story =)

See ya❤️