Chapter 35

“Did you sleep well?” Mom asked as I sat down for breakfast the following morning.

There’s a plate set down before me with two slices of buttered toast.

“Mitchell’s snoring kept me up.” I said, reaching for a butter-knife so that I could cut off the crusts to my toast.

“I do not snore that loud!” He says defensively, taking a bite out of his slice of pitch-black toast.

“Yes you do.” Mom, dad and I said simultaneously.

Where is Grayson? I wondered, noticing his absence from the dining table.

I couldn’t stop thinking about late last night’s events. Grayson’s lips on mine. I didn’t know how I felt about it. What I did know, was that I liked it, oddly. I may not identify as a homosexual, but I could not deny that I had feelings for Grayson Evander Scott. Complicated feelings, but feelings nonetheless.

“Where is.. where’s Grayson?” I wondered out loud.

Mitchell answered with his mouth full. “He had to head back home. I let him take my car.”

Oh.

I wonder why he had to go home early.

Was it because of what happened last night?

“Your father and I thought we’d rent a boat for today and go fishing if you both wanted to join us.” Mom says.

“Ugh, no thanks.” I respond with a grimace.

Murdering fish and then gutting them? Pass!

“Dallas, quit being such a baby.” Mitchell says.

“Says the one who is currently spitting out his burnt toast because he doesn’t know how to not talk while his mouth is full. Moron.” I retorted.

“Idiot.” He clapped back.

“Boys, quit your bickering.” Dad ordered.

The rest of the week went by swimmingly. To summarise it quickly, it was perfect. We did all kinds of things, like going bowling, jet skiing, dancing—mom’s idea, not ours—and on the final day, we stayed inside all day and played card games, board games and even attempted to do a family artwork on a large piece of stretched canvas. Bowling sucked, it turns out playing was far more harder than any of us anticipated. Jet skiing was fun, more so when Mitchell was thrown off. He’s okay. Dancing was wild, and painting turned out to be a complete shit show. Turned out to be a massive canvas of crappy colors and weird ass shapes and squiggles.

After packing our things into the car, we begin the long journey back home.

I didn’t want to leave.

Leaving meant that my mom’s cancer was real, and that she would have to stay in hospital while undergoing chemotherapy treatments for the many oncoming weeks.

Leaving meant that everything will change.

And I wasn’t ready for change.

I settled in for a long and nauseating drive.

It was 9:12am the following day when we dropped off mom at the hospital for the beginning of her chemotherapy. She was wearing a cozy, white knitted cardigan and pastel blue sweatpants. Her hair was brushed but not styled in her normal updo. Her usual scent of wild vanilla with caramel tones was absent, due to the doctor’s orders that she cannot wear perfume during chemo. Mitchell and I each gave her a hug.

“Hopefully I’ll be allowed back home tonight, if not, we’ll, you’ll know where to find me.” She tells us.

I let out a small laugh. “You’ll be okay, Mom.” I encouraged. She will be.

“I know I will, now you two better hurry on to school.”

Mitchell drove here in his own car so that he could drive the both of us to school after we had dropped mom off. Dad decided that he would wait at the hospital with mom during her chemotherapy, which was an idea I liked. At least she’s not alone.

“Okay, love you mom.” I give her another hug.

“Love you too.”

“See you later, mom.” Mitchell moved to give her another hug.

“See you later, Mitch.” She ruffled his hair. “Now get to school, or you’re both grounded.”

She will be fine.

I may not be god.

I may not be omnipotent or omniscient.

But I know that she will be fine.

She has to be.

The drive to school was quiet. We were already late today, not that the school would give a shit. Mom had called before we left for the lake house and explained our absences. Which meant that we would no doubt get unwanted sympathies from teachers, and probably be referred to the school’s councillor.

“Are you going to reconcile with your friends?” Mitch wondered as we pulled into the school’s parking lot.

I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

“Lucy told me.” He says.

Huh?

“Are you guys still texting each other?”

“We mostly argue.” He says.

That’s a little unsettling. Then again, who am I to judge, I’ve hooked up with his best friend more than once.

“I don’t think I will. They deliberately left me out, and it hurt. So fuck em.” I get out of the car and throw my backpack on.

The ankle I sprained still hurts, but is bearable that I can physically walk.

“Have a good day.” He says as I start towards the school’s main building.

“I won’t!” I called back.

Attending school is an automatic bad day in my opinion.

I arrive late to my biology class, and all eyes fall on me.

“Good to see you, Dallas. Please, take a seat.” Says Mrs Kavinsky from the front of the class room.

I comply and take the empty seat that is nearest to me. It’s next to Leonard, whose snoring kept me up on that camping trip.

Let’s hope he doesn’t fall asleep in class.

I once did that. Well, more than once if I am being completely honest. It’s embarrassing, especially when the teacher asks you a question and you answer with whatever is on your mind. For instance, when that happened to me last, I answered the teacher’s math question with ‘I don’t like peanuts!’ Which was mortifying.

At least everyone knows I don’t like peanuts!

After class ended, I headed to the cafeteria to get something to eat. My stomach was growling because I had skipped breakfast this morning. I was far too nervous to eat. Instead, I had myself a cup of coffee.

On the way to the cafeteria, I see Hannah, Phillip and Jake seated at our regular spot.

Looks like Jake’s suspension is over.

“Dal!” Hannah called out just as I had turned around to go the other way. I stop and slowly turn around.

“Hey, man.” Jake says when I approached them.

I gave them a reluctant smile.

“Dal, we’re really sorry for not inviting you along and for leaving you out.” Hannah says. “It’s just, Cody has been going through a hard time, and, for some reason, he didn’t want you there.”

“Oh? He’s been having a rough time, has he?” My tone is anything but sincere.

“Yeah. He didn’t tell us what was up, but he seemed really upset.” Says Phillip. “So we comforted him and supported him. We’re sorry.”

“Whatever you did to him seemed to upset him.” Hannah added.

Whatever I did to him?

I scoffed at them. “I cannot believe you guys.”

“Dallas!” Lucy’s voice came from behind. “Hi, it’s so great to see you.” She says, turning to look at the rest of the group. “What’s going on?” She wonders.

“Apparently I did something to make Cody upset.” I reply.

Speak of the devil. “Hey, Dal. Can we talk?” Cody says as he approached.

“Talk about what? How you’ve ruined our friendship?” I rolled my eyes.

“Dal, just let me say something.” Cody says.

“Just fuck off!” I snapped. “You’re all fucking horrible people. Cody has been going through a mid-life crisis, Whoop-dee-fucking-doo! We all have those! But you’re going to somehow make it my fault?”

“I didn’t mean that it was your fault.” Hannah says.

“Yes you did.” I shake my head at the people I thought were my best friends. Turns out, even best friends can be complete strangers.

“I have had a seriously hard week, and none of you even cared.”

“Dal, we all have hard times.” Cody adds.

“Oh, do you guys have a mother with cancer too?” I ask in an angry and sarcastic tone of voice.

Shit. I shouldn’t have said that.

Fuck!

Soon the whole fucking school will know!

FUCK!!!!

I’m such an idiot!

“I’m so sorry Dal, we didn’t know.” Hannah says, her eyes slightly watering.

“How could you? Cody was having a hard time and you wanted to be there for him.” With nostrils flared, I turn away and head towards the nearest exit.

I am so fucking done with this shitty school, and I’m also done with my shittier friends!

I’m just, I’m done!

After exiting the building, I take a seat on a bench outside.

Fuck!

I’m breathing fast and my chest feels as if it’s stuck inside of a clamp. I’m angry, upset and majorly annoyed.

I was not okay, and I doubt that I would ever be okay again.

I felt like shit.

Like my entire life was falling apart.