Chapter 6

Author’s note: Salve’s name came from the word Salvation, don’t turn him into a Slave guys that’s racist 🥲🥲

These voices in my head screaming, “Run, now”
I’m praying that they’re human
-Consume

There I was crying, shamefully, in front of Glass. He smiled as if to comfort me, the same way Salve was doing earlier. “Don’t cry, puppy… I just wanted to take care of you. Here, let me clean you up.”

Glass gently pushed me towards the lake and washed my mouth with his delicate hands, humming a haunting tune. I keep looking at Glass’ features, seeing the ghost of my ghost lover in them. I keep telling myself their differences, aside from the eyes. Like how Salve’s cheeks get chubby when he smiles, while Glass looks like a supermodel when he does. Salve is more adorable, more innocent. Glass is purely seductive, from eyes to lips he does nothing but invite me.

Apparently, those two toned eyes can read me too.

“I know you weren’t really looking at me…” Glass hums, hands crawling down to wash my soft c*ck, at risk of hardening because of him. But he washed it with pure intent. He only looked at me with a tilted head. “The whole time, you were looking at me as if… you wanted me to be someone else. So who is it? Who’s the lucky boy?”

Glass permanently has sleepy eyes, while Salve only looks like that when he is looking up at me during s*x. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t resist… or am I just coming up with reasons on why I f*cked him? Is it the thirst, or do I miss Salve?

I swallowed my guilt, unwilling to speak his name but ultimately, I couldn’t look away from Glass’ eyes. “His name is Salve.”

“Mmm… I wonder how beautiful he is for you to only think of him while f*cking me.” He cups water in his hands and pours it down my neck before smoothing out my skin.

“He looks like you.” Admittedly, Glass is way more beautiful—his features sharper in a way that no one could resist him. But, Salve’s full cheeks when he smiles is much more comforting. His imperfect teeth look more human, his big doe eyes feel more safe. I admitted to Glass, “He’s the first boy I’ve ever loved.”

“You left him for the convent?” His eyes seemed to turn red and I was unable to look away. Part of me wish they were Salve’s instead.

“He’s dead,” I choked out, feeling horrible while recalling the look on his face when his hands slip out of mine…

Glass’ red eyes widen just a bit to express his sympathy. “Awww, puppy… your eyes are full of guilt. Stop blaming yourself for your lover’s death.”

“But it is my fault…” my tears start to choke me and… I suddenly sighed in relief. The sadness feels very human. It’s like I haven’t fully turned into a cold hearted vampire, and my sorrow over Salve keeps me alive. I close my eyes to feel the sadness thoroughly, allowing it to warm up my heart in a way his blood or the steam couldn’t.

“Hmm,” he presses his palms against my shoulders, trying to smooth out the tension in my muscles. “Would you like to confess, Jude?”

“What…”

“Confess your sins, and you will be forgiven. Tell me what happened, and God may free you of the guilt,” Glass leans toward me and offer a soft kiss to the cheek. His voice seems to sing me into a lullaby. I feel drawn.

But I could never be free of the guilt. That, I know. I didn’t want to talk about Salve with Glass… but part of me is begging to. I had no one to speak of this, not even my family. It’s trying to claw out of my chest.

“I pursued him. I made him fall for me…” my hands reluctantly rest on Glass’ waist as I continue imagining him to be Salve in the flesh, firm and solid in my embrace. “I dragged an innocent boy into my sins all because I didn’t want to suffer alone. I grew up different, unlike everyone else. He was one of the only people who accepts me for being… different.”

“Okay, what about Christine?” my best friend kept bugging me about who I like most in school, because we’re about to attend Junior Prom and I haven’t asked anyone yet. We cut classes, currently in the rooftop watching the sun set.

“She’s pretty but… I’m…” I shove my hands down my pocket, “I’m kinda too scared to ask them out?”

Salve looked at me suspiciously. “Jude, just because you’re scared of being rejected by girls, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. I mean, who would reject you, seriously… maybe Lesley because she’s a lesbian. By the way, she asked me out thinking I was a girl—is my hair getting too long?”

“Sal, I—” I sighed, “Girls are pretty. Christine is an awesome girl,  and so are the others. But I can’t ask them out… not because I’m scared of being rejected, but maybe because I don’t think I like them.”

“Okay, so what type of girl do you like?”

“Uhm.” Salve is a bit slow. “Maybe someone who looks like you.”

He gave me a confused stank face. “You mean you want a girl that looks like me? You’re just like Lesley—”

“Sal!” I finally came out to my best friend since kindergarten: “I like men. Boys. I don’t want girls that look like boys, I don’t want girls that look like you. I like boys. I like…”

Salve didn’t really understand yet that even though I prefer to be with a boy, I’ve only ever imagined being with him all my life. So I confessed my sin to him, hoping I’ll be forgiven.

“I like you, Salve.” I look at his hands, yearning to hold them but I’m too scared. This fear of longing for a pastor’s son… it’s forbidden, it’s sinful. “I want to take you out to prom. And if there’s anyone I’m scared of rejecting me, it’s you. You’re the one boy that made me forget about the existence of the most beautiful women on earth.”

My confession extends to Glass, “I couldn’t hide myself when I was with him… I keep preying on his lips, yearning for his touch. I keep looking at him sinfully, like I wanted to infect—”

“You were in love,” Glass cuts me off, “Love is not a disease, puppy.”

“But we weren’t meant to be together. Salve’s family is heavily religious, his father is a pastor. But I felt so lonely, that I forced a relationship that isn’t meant to be. I made him fall in love with me, I turned him into what I was, I tainted the innocence of a boy by taking his heart when it wasn’t meant to be mine.”

“Jude! You did all of this for me?!” Salve bounced around the little candlelight dinner I prepared for us, celebrating our 15th year of friendship. Here are his favorite food, macaroni and cheese; along with his favorite drink, non-alcoholic strawberry wine. The fairy lights surrounding the place made his eyes sparkle. “Wow… this feels very romantic. Kinda weird for a friendship anniversary, though…”

“I’m sorry if it’s too gay for you. But I’m serious about being more than friends with you, Sal. I’ll keep working until I make you leave this friendship for a life with me.”

I struggled to tell Glass, but my mouth wouldn’t stop. “Because of me, his father humiliated him during church service. In front of me, his mother disowned him unless he breaks up with me. But I tainted the boy so much, he chose me.”

“Mom!” A crying Salve chased after her, “Why would you let Dad talk about me like that?! In front of them—why would he think I’m lower than murderers?!”

“Isn’t it true? At least killers know that they should rot in jail for what they did—you and those other homosexuals think they are entitled to God’s heaven when they have turned against Her. That is what your father is trying to say. That is the path you chose, Salve.”

“I felt so guilty that he was abandoned by his parents because of a sinner like me, I tried to fix things. I tried to bring things back to the way it was before I entered his life.” My first forms in anger, “I broke up with him. Told him to go back to his parents, told him I’m not worth the isolation and suffering.”

“JUDE, YOU ARE NOT BREAKING UP WITH ME! You sound like them, you sound like my parents! Please, don’t do this to me! I love you, but you’re just gonna leave me?!”

“You’ll be better off without me, Sal. Look at what happened with your family! They will no longer support you and—f*ck, you don’t deserve this Sal! You don’t deserve to struggle because of what I did to you.”

“What you did to me? Wh-what did that mean, did you think making love to me was some kind of r*pe—?!”

“I TURNED YOU INTO THIS, SAL. I turned you into someone as disgusting as me—your father was right! They were all right! You could’ve had a better, normal life but I turned you into someone like me. F*ck, Sal—YOU DON’T DESERVE THIS.”

“WHY?!” He cried to me, “Why don’t I deserve to be happy with you—WHY CAN’T I STAY WITH YOU?!”

But I pushed him away. “You don’t deserve to go to hell for me!”

Glass reached out to wipe my tears on one side, be leans forward to lick my tears on the other. “Puppy… don’t be sad.”

This sadness is the only emotion that made me feel human. So I continued, “Salve climbed to the church bell tower, unwilling to live a life without me. Only then did I realize I couldn’t live a life without him. I climbed up, I wanted to be with him. I wanted to commit sin and repent, as long as he is in my arms but…”

“Stay with me,” I beg him, wishing to take back the words I dare utter to the love of my love. “Don’t do this, don’t leave me!”

Salve was just one step away from death. His red sweater stands out against the purple and blues of the sunset. “But you did. You left me after I lost everything.”

“Salve I—!”

“Isn’t it nice…” He says, his foot moving. “For me to have you as the last person I’ll ever love?”

“And you’ll have me!” I cry my eyes out, “Let’s run away! Let’s go where no one could judge us, let’s go where not even God could find us! I would rather be struck dead than live in a life without you in it!”

Even at the end of his life, Salve wanted nothing but to spend it with me. He smiled, even with tears down his cheeks, reaching for me. “Jude, I love you—”

“SALVE!” His father called from below, and Salve turned his head only to lose footing and slip off the ledge.

I tried to reach for him. But his hands barely touched mine, and it seemed like he was so far away. The distance only grew until he ended up on the ground, looking up at me as if I was heaven he couldn’t reach. His hair now forever fluffy since it was pressed against the cement.

“I’m sorry…” I whisper to Glass, “I didn’t want to tell you, I didn’t want to tell anyone. I don’t know why I suddenly—”

I realized something. Evie’s eyes turn red when he makes me unable to move in my own body. Glass’ eyes flashed red earlier. I push him away so suddenly, “You used your powers against me! I thought you couldn’t hypnotize—!”

“Hey, it’s okay! Shhh… ” Glass swims to me and leans against my chest, listening to my heartbeat as he hums a quiet tune. “My powers are to warm up the prey and make them feel safe in my presence, to make it easier for me to catch them. You can’t feel the temperature as a vampire… but warmth isn’t just about that. Warmth is comfort, is it not? It’s relief, it’s emotions. What you’re feeling right now… it’s nice, yes?”

So this is his powers? I confessed because I felt safe with him? Can I even trust him after he practically manipulated me into talking about my past when I clearly didn’t want to? Or maybe…

“Am I prey to you, Glass?”

He giggles, “You’re adorable, so maybe. But I just ate; and my appetite isn’t as sensitive as a newborn’s. I’m doing this to ease your mind about being with us. I want to make you feel safe, because you are a child of God. You are us.”

He leans into me to offer an intimate kiss, but our lips did not touch. Just his breath, a cloud of comfort surrounding me. No judgment, no danger. Just…

“Glass.” A voice calls out, and footsteps approach us. I was snapped out of my trance and realized I’m here in the lake naked with a vampire. I immediately push him away upon seeing Redd standing on the edge of the lake, glaring at us.

“Redd! How was feeding? You should join us—”

“What are you doing with the newborn? Leo said to stay away from him on his first night.” The man doesn’t look happy. And with his giant build, it’s scarier when he sounds like that.

Is Glass gonna tell him what happened? Is he gonna air out my painful past? I thought of the worst, and I was prepared to drown myself even though I can’t die.

Meanwhile, the vampire in front of me just giggled, “I was just accompanying him. I didn’t pull him into the water just to drink his blood, that would be violating. Isn’t that right, puppy?”

Both of them look at me as if confirming that I’m not being threatened by Glass at all. Which is true I’m more scared of Redd so I nodded, “W-we didn’t do anything.”

Thou shalt not lie and I have lied my *ss off in these waters. I can see Salve judging me in the distance but I can’t even look at him.

“Get inside, the both of you.”

Redd seemed pissed enough for me to obey. I had to get dressed in front of him, while Glass wrapped a towel around himself haphazardly. He walked ahead of me through the hall, barefoot, while Redd closed the door behind us.

“Dry off,” Redd said to Glass, “Or else they’ll suspect you two f*cked, and you don’t want Evie or Leo to think of that.

Glass hummed softly, obedient, almost lazy. “You worry too much.”

“I worry the appropriate amount,” Redd replied. His eyes slid to me. “Especially for this one.”

I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly aware of how exposed I still felt—not naked anymore, but not dressed enough. My heart hadn’t slowed since the lake. I wondered if they could hear it.

“Why do you worry about what Evie thinks so much? Isn’t he also just a student?” I asked before I could stop myself. The name slipped out like a prayer said in the wrong room.

Redd paused. Just for a second—but I saw it. The way his fingers tightened in the fabric, the way his shoulders lifted and fell like he was deciding how much air to take in.

Glass answered instead, “He will be worrying about me. After all… we’ve been lovers for quite a long time. An open relationship… but close enough for him to feel jealous over the newborn”

“Oh,” I murmured. I didn’t know why disappointment settled in my chest, knowing they’re romantically involved. I shouldn’t feel anything at all, it’s not like I like Glass…

“I can hear your thoughts, you know,” Salve grumbles. “You still think I look like this f*cker!”

“No, stop…” I say out loud, making both Red and Glass look back at me wondering what I’m putting a stop to.

“Oh. Nothing.”

They stopped by a door—what I assumed to be Glass’ bedroom. Silence stretched between them. It cold… a little tense. As if Redd doesn’t want him to go inside, but he needs to. Then Redd stepped closer to Glass—not touching, but near enough that I could feel the shift in the hallway.

“You shouldn’t have taken him outside alone,” Redd said gently.

Glass laughed. “You make it sound scandalous.”

“You make it sound unserious when a newborn’s thirst is a serious matter. What would Evie say?”

I cleared my throat, “I wanted to swim with him. Glass didn’t force me.”

Redd’s gaze settled on me again, heavier now. “I know. Glass doesn’t force. That’s not his nature. No, instead he makes you want to come to him. He entices you until you couldn’t have enough of him, and you’ll just be searching for him. That’s what he does—”

The way he said it made my stomach twist. Like a compliment that doubled as a warning, but Glass cuts him off. “Redd. Don’t accuse him—”

“I’m not accusing,” Redd continued smoothly. “I’m simply reminding him that he’s in a school filled with vampires that can twist minds. He’s new, he doesn’t know how… warm you can be.”

I felt my cheeks burn. Glass tilted his head, sleepy eyes sharp underneath. “Is that what this is about? You’re jealous?”

“It’s about boundaries. You shouldn’t be out there with him, especially a hungry newborn!”

Glass smiled, slow and indulgent. “Now who are you to tell me that, Redd? Aren’t you only a minute younger than Jude? And yet you speak to me as if you have owned me for a century.”

The words landed wrong, they landed painful. Redd’s eyebrows dipped even more, while Glass is twisting his body like a shy little kid trying to convince a parent to buy ice cream while the other disapproves. Glass effectively shuts him up, before opening the door and waving good bye at me.

“Bye, puppy… next time join me a bit earlier in the lake, okay?” Glass blows me a kiss before closing the door.

Finally alone with Redd, I shifted my weight. “Did I do something wrong? You’ve been glaring at me like that since the lake.”

Redd’s answer came a heartbeat later. “You did exactly what newborns do.”

“And what’s that?” I asked. “What do newborns do other than suffer with thirst every second of the day?”

He looked back at Glass’ door when he replied. “You attached yourself to the first thing that made you feel safe. Well, you need to wake up, Jude. Everyone here are vampires who want something from you, and Glass is no different.”

Something ugly stirred in my chest. I thought of Salve, and how I don’t want to betray him for these thirsty and s*x addicted vampires—even though I already did, for one.

“I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” I said softly, finally arriving in front of both our doors. “I also felt bad when I realize Glass was using his powers to force my mouth open. H-he felt safe, he felt reliable!”

“That’s what vampires do, they charm you,” he said. “I’d stay away from Evie and Glass if I were you.”

“Why?”

“Goodnight, Jude.”

“Wait!” I grab a hold of his wrist to pull him back, and all of a sudden my vision distorted into that of… memory? No fog, no dream-like structure. Just me in the body of… of Redd.

I faced a memory that is not my own, in the head of a person that’s not me. And this memory brought me to an empty classroom with Pryce preparing notes for the next class. I hear myself speaking, but it’s not my voice. It’s Redd…

“You’re lying, Pryce. Evie would never sleep with anyone without Glass present.”

“But we did… it’s not that big of a deal, they’re in an open relationship anyway,” Pryce shrugs, going back to his books.

“Why would Evie bend his own rules for you?” My fist—Redd’s fist, curls up so hard his entire hand is trembling. “Did you use your powers against him, Pryce? Did you seduce Evie?”

“Whoa, I’d watch the assumptions, Redd. I’m not the one pining after the two of them.” Pryce scoffs, “Evie wanted to f*ck, I gave it to him. There’s no need to be jealous when we can all have a taste.”

“You f*cker—!” I finally tore my hand off Redd’s wrist, who looked at me puzzled. My expression was horrified, confused, and shocked. Did I just imagine all of that? Why was I in Redd’s head, why was I talking to Pryce?!

“You look sick, Jude. Just get inside before another vampire tears you off your shoes and f*ck you whether you like it or not,” Redd dismisses me before he walked inside his room without another word.

I stood there alone, surrounded by echoes—of a memory that is not my own. Not only do they have s*x with each other, but there’s tension between them that I haven’t picked up. I wasn’t safe here; not my body, not my blood, not my sanity.

For the first time since waking as a monster, I understood something clearly: I’m in more danger than Glass is trying to shield me from, and I’m caught in a web I don’t want to be a part of.

I immediately went inside my room to tell Salve, “You’re not gonna believe what happened Sal, I got inside Redd’s mind! He wants Glass and Evie to himself and he’s pissed that Pryce—”

“You got inside where?” Answers a man that isn’t Salve at all. Leo was inside my bedroom, sitting on my desk and reading a book when I barged in without noticing him.

I stood there stunned, in silence. He also stood up and walked towards me, reaching for my dripping hair that could only mean I had a bath in the lake. His eyes look looked cold and burning at once, something simmering just beneath the surface.

“Jude,” Leo says in a delicate tone, but I know for a fact he’s threatening me with my own name. Even his hand on my hair turned into a hand around my shoulders. “Why the ever-loving f*ck is your hair wet, and why you smell like another vampire?”

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