Chapter 17

Salve Warning: “Why are you still reading? Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for being gay? Don’t call me out, I’m dead.”

I can’t contain this anymore
I’m all yours, l’ve got no control, no control
Powerless
And I don’t care, it’s obvious
I just can’t get enough of you
The pedal’s down, my eyes are closed, no control
—No Control

JUDE CRESTON

“Did you get anything from Pryce last night?” Leo asked as he sits beside me on the bench overlooking the garden. I’m here mostly to wait for Lucien, he didn’t come outside today.

Leo looks less happy than he is usually… something tells me he’s pissed that I slept with them last night. But what can I do, it was bound to happen. Consequences from my choices, Pryce said.

Last night, Leo came in to make sure they don’t take too much blood off me. I was somewhat high and out of my mind when he pulled me out of there, but I woke up with my head on my neck, so I appreciated that. I don’t remember anything much when he picked me up—

“You were passed out with your d*ck inside Glass,” Salve cut me off. Thanks, babe. I was trying to forget that fact.

“No. Glass distracted me so much, I couldn’t even ask a question.” In reality, I didn’t get a useful vision aside from Evie’s previous life.

I don’t even understand the vision I got… his brother is a redhead, and Everest has some sort of issue with his mother. I wonder if Leo knows about it…

But Leo’s tone was different when he asked, “So are you gonna f*ck Redd next?”

Both Salve and I turned to look at him. “Why are you saying that like I’m some sort of a wh*re?”

“You said that word, not me.”

I found myself scoffing, “What, are you jealous now? I thought everyone f*cked everyone over here, you definitely had your share of Glass.”

Leo scoffed sarcastically at me, “Are you jealous of me and Glass?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but Salve appeared beside Leo instead of at my side, and I know for a fact he’s not on my side.

“Listen Leo—you’re not my boyfriend. I’m not yours… I didn’t have any rocks thrown against my window or answer a million dollar question over candlelight dinner.” I look away from the both of them, “I don’t think both of us have the right to be jealous—”

“But I am.” He suddenly said, bringing Salve back to sitting beside me and both of us stared at him in shock. Leo wasn’t even looking at me, because he’s lighting a cigarette that smells of peonies and mint. “I know for a fact I can’t keep you away from them. It kills me every time they touch you. But what can I do? I made you a vampire—it’s the bed I made, gotta lay in it.”

My eyes softened looking at Leo, exhaling a smoke that smells as sweet as it is strong. “Leo…”

“You don’t have to reciprocate my feelings, Jude…” he said, “Why the f*ck would you care if I feel like sh*t, right?”

“I just thought if I slept with Pryce, I’ll get to know more about Lucien.” I decided to confess, “I’m trapped here, Leo. I don’t want to hunt humans out there. But Lucien… he’s not a vampire.”

“Lucien is perfectly protected under the Monsignor and God Herself—”

“You said he isn’t! He’s in danger in this convent, and he’s miserable. If only you’ll talk to him, you’ll know his Garden of Eden is a living hell.” I held Leo’s hands, making the cigarette almost drop out of his lips. “There’s still a chance for him to be free. If I can’t give myself freedom… it’s the least I can do for Lucy.”

Leo was silent for a long while, probably talking to the snake in his head. But after careful thought—or just prolonged staring, he tells me, “There is a way for you to be free.”

“What?” Both Salve and I asked.

“If…” he won’t stop glancing at my lips, “If you have a vampire partner… you can get out of here and live off each other without hunting for humans. That is… if, after a century, you don’t become bored and start hunting for the fun of it like Evie and Glass.”

I looked at him, stunned. I can get out without terrorizing humans?

“I was hoping you’d be mine and we can escape from this place…” he mumbles, shy against the ground. Sometimes, my feelings for him are torn… Leo clearly has issues, with Satan always whispering to him but. F*ck, he’s growing on me—don’t you dare say anything, Salve.

“Evie and Glass…” I ask, “They can feed off each other. Why would they be here?”

“I don’t know… like I said, they started hunting for sports until they stopped. Evie didn’t want to be here, so I guess it’s Glass that doesn’t want the life out there anymore.” Leo smiles at the ground this time, and the way  his cheek makes way for a dimple made my heart skip a lil beat. “Evie would do anything for Glass, y’know. He thinks he’s in charge of everyone but one word from Glass, and he folds like a bottom.”

“He is a bottom,” I snort.

“Not for you, he’s not…” Leo leans toward me to tease me with his dumb face, “… right?”

Suddenly, he stood up and lend me a hand. “Come on, let’s get in trouble while Pryce is in Monsignor’s office.”

“Trouble?” I gave him my hand, “Wh-what does that mean?”

Leo didn’t say a word as he pulled me back into the convent and started running down the hallway. I gasped, “Leo, we’re not supposed to run in the halls!”

“No hall monitors,” he says, not even looking back at me as we ran up the stairs. I tripped on the stairs and we fall there, laughing together.

When suddenly, “Oh sh*t, Evie—!”

Leo grabs me by the waist and pulled me back to the stairs, pinning me there with a mouth on my hand. I dare not move, not when Leo is pressed against me like this. My breath inconsistent against his mouth, and his gaze on me as we both listen to Evie and Glass in the hallway.

“Come on babe, look at you… !” I could only hear voices, but I could hear Evie say something first. “Don’t cry! You’re gorgeous, my love—men would kill for those legs, I would kill these men for your f*cking legs…”

I wanted to go look, but Leo pinned me back to the wall as Evie makes out with Glass in the hallway. Lots of moaning, lots of breath and passionately slamming heads on the door. Leo was chuckling at me, probably because I’m blushing hard. Why wouldn’t I, his hand is holding my waist firm like he doesn’t want me to go to anyone else.

Then I hear the door open and slam close, before Leo laughs and releases my face.

I ran after Leo while asking, “Why was Glass crying?”

“He does that a lot, especially when he isn’t high…” he went up another flight of stairs. “Trust me, you haven’t been with Glass when he isn’t high.”

Salve was behind me, trying to catch his breath. “Wait… those pills weren’t his medicine? Can you guys slow down, please? I can’t breathe…”

“He probably needs those drugs to tolerate Evie,” I snickered, following Leo to an old library.

The room smelled like dust and old paper, shelves towering all the way to the ceiling, packed with cracked spines and forgotten scriptures. Sunlight barely reached inside, filtered through tall stained-glass windows that painted the floor in dull reds and blues. It was quiet enough to hide stories, loud enough to make my heart beat faster.

“So the entire time I was in here… I’ve never seen Glass sober?” I ask, checking out the old books from before the 19th century.

“Consider yourself lucky… a sober Glass makes Evie look like a saint,” he said.

“What happened to him to be like that?”

“Only Evie knows… maybe Pryce, since he knows everything about us…” Leo faced the farthest bookshelf with stained glass above it. “But I’d stay away from Glass if he isn’t sh*tfaced.”

“Redd told me to stay away from them too, but I thought it’s because Evie’s a b*tch and Glass is Redd’s b*tch.”

“You’re right about Evie, but for Glass it’s mostly the drugs. Ahh, here…” Leo pulled out one bible but instead of it falling out, it revealed that the entire bookshelf was never that; but a giant door for real shelves behind it.

“What the—?!” My mouth dropped open seeing shelves of wine, whiskey, rum, gin, vodka, absinthe, brandy, and bottles I couldn’t even pronounce—some dusty with age, others polished like they’d been used recently.

“I may be a chef…” Leo took out oranges, grenadine, a bottle of tequila, and a small metal shaker, flashing me a handsome grin as he worked. “I am also a great bartender.”

I am not an alcoholic. But why does this convent have an entire collection of all the world’s alcohol?! I find myself laughing excitedly as we both sat on the floor, “How did you know about this place?”

“When you spent almost a century here, you have to know the books…” he winks at me, offering me a tequila sunrise. “Now I have someone to show it to.”

“Mmm! This tastes like juice!”

“Slow down, that’s how they get the ladies drunk… here, try this,” Leo hands me a shot and I felt it searing down my throat.

“Ow! That hurt! Blehh,” I gagged, before pointing at a fancy bottle up there. “That’s the prettiest bottle I’ve seen, what does that taste like?”

Leo took it down and popped open the circular cap, “The prettiest bottles taste the best, here…”

I got a shot of it, which instantly made me gag because it tastes like rubbing alcohol used to disinfect wounds. “Ew! Blehh!”

“Hahaha, I was kidding! The prettier the bottle, the worst it tastes…”

“That doesn’t make sense!” I playfully hit him. “Well, for Vampires it might be true…”

He leaned back, laughing before tilting his head, smiling at me. “Maybe. I’m looking at the prettiest, but it doesn’t apply to you.”

He’s so full of sh*t, I had to laugh. “I’m not even half as pretty as Glass…”

“That’s because even though you’re addictive, you’re not alcohol. You’re a cookie.”

I stared. “Excuse me? Are you saying I’m thin and flat, sweet but a bit salty?”

“You crumble when things get hot,” he calls me out while biting his lips, eyes half lidded.

“How f*cking dare you! It’s the thirst, and Glass…” I leaned my head against the shelf, before sighing out, “Who is undeniably f*cking hot…”

“See, I told you! But you’re also a little cookie because you’re comforting and addictive, man… better eaten with milk,” he smirks towards me, and I push him more.

“I’m not thin, flat and salty!”

“That’s a cracker.”

“I’m not white, though…?”

“No cookie is white,” he said.

“Vanilla cookie?”

“It’s yellow,” he handed me a shot. “And you’re not vanilla.”

“What were we talking about again?” I was laughing as I took the shot, downing it with a pleasant swallow because… it actually had a warm burn as it journeys down my throat. It massages my head like a lover instead of a masseuse, I had to close my eyes and moan to process the heat.

“You’re f*cking addictive, that’s for sure. A living temptation,” He stares at me, but looked away to take another shot for himself. He poured another one from a new bottle, offering it to me. His hair is gelled, but wouldn’t stay on his head so black strands are falling on his forehead.

We’re surrounded by the bottles, now… acting like stained glass making colorful lights on the floor.

Leo offered me another shot glass, but I didn’t take it. I slapped it away because I want to taste it directly from his mouth. Glass clinked and clanged as I crawled on top of Leo, giving him the cookie-flavored lips he’s been looking at for the past hour.

“Jude—” I shut him up by claiming his lips and moaning against them when he ripped a button away from my clothes.

I hear Salve checking out the bottles in here while muttering, “Not addicted, huh… not ad-d*ckted at all. Hey, did you know vodka means water in Slav?”

Oh f*ck, I just want whatever monster is sleeping inside Leo’s pants. Evie said it’s 8inches, I didn’t feel all of those our first time together and I feel deprived. As I try to undo his belt, he was pushing my jacket off and ripping open my shirt. The moment a bit of my skin got exposed, Leo immediately left my lips to leave marks on there and—

“Jude Creston, Leo Andreas…” the sudden voice in my head made me pull away and curse out, “F*CK—! Who the fu—?!”

“Pryce,” Leo rolled his eyes and sighed to the ceiling, “You scared him.”

“I need to speak with Jude alone, Leo. Also your alcohol levels are in a slippery slope, put away the bottles.”

I can still hear him in my head and it’s a loud, surround voice in my head that comes at you at every direction, I can’t help but be scared!

“Sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be drinking…” Leo pulled me up and personally buttoned up my shirt, however taking his precious time when he did the last button. His fingers brushed on my collarbone, and I could feel my breathing struggle to keep up with my heart.

I look up at him—big mistake because I saw just how much he wants me with his eyes alone. Alcohol can clean up the glass that fogs the soul inside, and he can no longer hide anything.

“Go,” he said, “I need to return the bottles. Pryce is in the Monsignor’s office.”

I wanted to say something; hell, I wanted to do something. But I had to leave with my heart which is left along with the bottles. I hope he puts it away.

“Did you get any vision out of Leo?” Salve asked me in the hallways. “With all those touching and groping, you should’ve gotten something.”

“Well, I still can’t control this thing, Sal…”

“What are you talking about, the visions or your d*ck?” He calls out.

“You said you’re okay with me and Leo…”

“When it comes to your virginity—Jude, I don’t care who you fall in love with! The more you fall for them, the easier it is to let me go—” I turned around and stopped him in his tracks. I glared at Salve, eyebrows furrowed.

“Let you go? You’re not leaving, Salve. You couldn’t, even back then when I begged you to, you didn’t leave. All of a sudden, you want to?”

“You never wanted me to leave you,” Salve said, looking up at me with sadness in his eyes. “I couldn’t leave because you never wanted me to. If you fall for Leo, maybe you will.”

I scoff, turning away to go to the Monsignor’s office. “That’s not happening, Salve! You can’t refuse to leave me for the past f*cking years and when I need you the most, you’ll suddenly do it? No f*cking way.”

I didn’t even realize that I stumbled into the Monsignor’s office with knees unable to lock, and the room spinning with Pryce in the middle.

“Are you drunk, Jude?” The handsome blonde asked while closing a book and putting it up the shelves.

I stared at him with my eyes still open, so I couldn’t be drunk. “No.”

“I heard you yelling at the halls at no one in particular.”

“I was… yelling at a portrait, one of them gave me a bad look,” I leaned against the doorway because my knees can’t lock for my own sake. “What did you uhh… want with me?”

“Redd told me you were talking about Lucien,” Pryce gave me a look that indicates he’s not happy. Ahh f*ck, I’m in trouble… “Have you been meeting with him?”

“Why would I meet with Lucy? I have no time to meet with him, he’s too busy to meet with me. Pft,” I snort.

“Why would he be too busy to meet with you, Jude?”

“Probably decorating the tree or something, I don’t know…” I chuckled, smiling as I remember being huddled up inside that tree with him. That memory was crushed when I looked at Pryce and dropped my smile. “Oh uhm…”

“Sit down, Jude.” I could barely, but I made it to the chair while struggling to keep my eyes open. Pryce is less like the casual f*cker who f*cked me last night, he’s all strict now. “What alcohol did you drink?”

I snort unattractively, “Everything… hey, did you know Vodka means water in Germany?”

“Russian.”

“I don’t speak French,” I giggled, leaning back and watching Pryce’s eyes all over me. I didn’t get to button up my shirt, and I bet he can see the hickey Leo left on my collarbone, and my chest.
“What, you’re gonna act like the pervy Principal checking me out?”

“I’m not checking you out, I’m thinking of what I’m gonna do knowing that you’re meeting up with a student that’s off limits.”

“I don’t have any intentions of f*cking Lucy—”

“You’re not supposed to even talk to him,” he firmly states.

“Why?” I sat up and demanded that answer from him, “Is it because we’re what—contagious? Because you’re afraid I’ll poison him just by breathing the same air?”

Pryce’s jaw tightened. “Because Lucien is sacred.”

“Because he’s God’s son,” I snapped back. Salve was in the chair beside me, giving me a shocked look. What, it’s the truth!

“How would you know that?” his face changed. Oh yeah… I wasn’t supposed to know the truth. “Did you… get your powers, Jude?”

“This is not about me, this is about Lucien—”

“Your powers awakened, we will talk about that now,” he said, opening a file before licking his thumb to turn a page.

“Hey—Satan told me okay, I DON’T have my powers yet,” I raised my voice, fighting the urge to slam my fist against the table in the presence of the Lord because She’s staring at me from behind Pryce. Her and Salve. God, I’m drunk…

“Satan… you went inside Leo’s Withholding… and got out?” He looks bewildered. “How did you do that? Jude, the Withholding is exactly what it says, it’s a Jail for the Lord’s biggest adversary and you’re saying he told you about Lucy and you got out of that jail?”

“What, like it’s hard?” I scoff, making him even more confused. “Listen, I know Lucien’s the son of God. Won’t She get f*cking mad at you for making Her son feel like a prisoner? He’s not sacred, Pryce. He’s scared.”

“You’re crossing a line simply by talking to him,” Pryce said quietly.

“I crossed it the moment I was dragged into this place and called it mercy,” I shot back. “You said he was protected. Leo said he’s not. He’s rotting in here, and you know it.”

Pryce’s eyes hardened—not angry, but something colder. And a little bit with a glint in his eyes.

“You will stay away from him,” he said. “This is not a negotiation. I have yet to punish you for breaking the rules.”

I laughed, bitter and playful. “You can read my thoughts, can’t you, Pryce? So you already know I won’t stay away from Lucien. You can punish me all you want.”

Surprisingly, Pryce smiled at me, slightly blushing at the invitation. Especially when I leaned back and let my shirt open slightly more. “I’ve never had a student as defiantly alive as you, Jude Creston. Redd was stubborn, but you are just… something else.”

“Well, unless you throw me out there to feast on the humans, I’m gonna keep seeing Lucien!” I yell out, standing up even while my knees are shaking. “I’m his only friend! You’re just a tall blonde-pubed s*x-addict wearing priest robes while a kid out there suffers by himself! Now excuse me, I have to be a good friend by helping him pull weeds from his garden!”

Pryce stood up, making his way around the desk and showing off how tall and blonde and handsome—”No, you’re not,” he says, suddenly pulling out his belt.

“What, you’re gonna leash me to the pillars, tie me to a chair or something—!” I gasp when he grabbed me by the arm and pushed me over the table. “Wait—! I’m… I’m drunk!”

“You can sober up while you’re bent over this table with my d*ck inside you, rulebreaker.”

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