Chapter 3

Warning: Angst. Mind c*mming, gothic-romance angst. Welcome to horror yaoi.

Tonight, she’s satisfied,
Rolling back her eyes
But then, she starts to cry,
Everything is turning to black
All in one night,
He just went to heaven and back.
-Heaven and back

“He’s not going to make it,” Pryce said calmly.

Jude lay at the center of the room like something already finished, surrounded by priests-in-training as if it’s his funeral. Blood soaked through the borrowed sheets beneath him, darkening, seeping into the cracks of the stone floor. His chest barely rose. His eyes were half-lidded, unfocused, lashes already wet with something more than tears.

“And the worst thing is, Lucy saw him fall,” says Pryce, before instructing everyone, “It’s important that he does not know about Jude dying—”

“No,” Leo snapped, both his hands planted on the table that cradled Jude. His uniform is bloody from carrying him here, fresh but drying out. “No. You don’t get to decide that, Pryce. His heart is still pumping.”

“His spine snapped and his brain is dead,” Evie snaps, spitefully tilting his head towards Leo. “Have you gotten too attached to a boy you’ve only met for a day?”

“This boy is better than all of you combined, more deserving to live than all of us combined…” Leo mutters, but loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

Glass was seated, while Redd has a hand on his shoulder. Nearby, Evie leaned back against the wall, arms crossed, eyes half-lidded in lazy interest. He didn’t look surprised. If anything, there was something like satisfaction curling at the corner of his mouth.

“Look at your much superior boy now, Leo,” Evie scoffed. “This was bound to happen. Kids like him break easy. Like twigs.”

“Shut up!” Leo hissed, hands begging to wrap around Evie’s neck. “You did this. Right in front of Lucy, you did this!”

Evie pulls himself off the wall. “He talked sh*t and he was punished for running his pretty little mouth. Gravity did the rest.”

Leo lunged toward him, but Redd caught his arm before it could turn into something uglier. Glass stood frozen in his seat, pale, eyes unfocused, as if he were watching something far away instead of the body bleeding out in front of them.

“We cannot act without Monsignor Sinclair,” Pryce says. “You know the rules, Leo.”

Leo laughed—a sharp, broken sound that didn’t belong in a holy place.

“Rules?” his voice raised as he cursed all of them, especially Pryce. “You’re standing there talking about rules when you f*ck each other in priestly robes?! You talk about rules when Glass poisons himself with drugs, and you talk about rules while a boy Evie pushed off the window is dying on the table?! WHAT RULES, PRYCE?!”

“He is already dying,” Pryce corrected with a a firm voice. “It has been done, what we can only do is repent and protect Lucy’s innocence!”

Repent. The word landed wrong. Leo rounded on him, eyes wild, voice cracking with something dangerously close to disbelief. “So you’re gonna let him die? What is this place for, then? What are we for? You stand in prayer every morning, you talk about mercy and salvation and rebirth—and when someone is bleeding out in front of you, you tell me to LET HIM DIE?”

Pryce’s jaw tightened. “Lower your voice, Lucy might hear.”

“No,” Leo said, slamming his fist on the table. “ANSWER ME! Answer me as if you weren’t a little boy dying and begging the Monsignor for your life even when you weren’t even supposed to live as well!”

“DO NOT USE MY DEATH AGAINST ME, LEO.” Pryce points at him threateningly, but his finger trembles as the memory hits. Then he composes himself, “… we lower our f*cking voices because Lucy’s innocence is above all of us, we protect him above all in this convent.”

Silence stretched. No one spoke. Not because they didn’t have words—but because they were afraid of which ones Leo might choose next. The fear of being targeted.

“I cannot do anything without the Monsignor’s consent,” Pryce continued, voice shaking now. But in order for them to realize the cost of saving Jude’s life, he went to the statue of the Lady of Carnations, reaching for her praying hands to retrieve something between the stone.

Evie states with disapproval, “You’re not thinking of using Her blood on Jude, are you?”

Jude stirred weakly, a sound catching in his throat like he was trying to speak through six feet of dirt. Leo was at his side instantly, dropping to his knees, catching his pale hand.

“Stay with me,” Leo whispered, frantic. “You’re not allowed to die. Do you hear me?”

Jude didn’t respond, he was still motionless. But when his eyes focused on the person holding his hand, it wasn’t Leo. It was Salve, his love; holding him, smiling. Jude’s lips moved, he breathed, but none of the boys present see him do anything but lay motionless on the table. His eyes are staring dead at the ceiling, but he is also looking at Salve beside him.

“Sal… ve…“

“I’m sorry, Jude…” Salve regretfully says, “I couldn’t save you. I know you’re hurting… I wish I could stop it…“

“No,” Jude says, unheard by everyone else. To them, he’s barely alive on the table. To Salve, he was embracing him. “I… I can feel you. Your hand. I can touch you, Salve.”

Salve smiled, though sadly. “You’re losing your life… Jude, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

“Salve,” Jude pulls his hand, one he can actually feel now, into his lips where he kisses it. “If… if I’m dying, and I get to be with you, join you in death… then I’m happy. I’ll finally be happy.”

Jude smiles, but nobody could see and nobody could hear him speak. It was just him and Salve, between the plane of life and death.

“I want to be with you, Salve,” he says, “Death is less lonely than a life without you…“

Salve leans towards him, and kisses Jude, finally feelings his lips. “You’re here. You’re with me, Jude. I will stay with you in life or death.”

“Use it,” Leo said hoarsely, lifting his head because Jude isn’t even exhaling anymore. His heart is fading. “PRYCE! GIVE IT TO HIM!”

“I will call the Monsignor,” Pryce said. “But I cannot guarantee we can save him.”

He stepped away, pulling a telephone from a desk, moving toward the far end of the room as if distance could soften what was coming. Silence and tension blankets the group, with Leo just itching to kill Evie and put him in Jude’s place right now. The call was brief. Too brief, as if the Monsignor already knows. When Pryce returned, the room held its breath.

“The Monsignor cannot come tonight,” Pryce said. “But he said to do what we can.”

“He’s already dead,” Evie mutters, “I can’t hear his heart. Can you, Glass?”

Glass wouldn’t answer, since he’s still hearing a faint beat of a heart full of love.

“For Leo’s peace of mind, we will try,,” Pryce presents them the Blood of the Lady, kept in a half empty vial. “It is not meant for… someone like him, but we will attempt. Although, it’s not enough. We already used some of it. Three nights ago when Redd injured himself.”

“He can still be saved,” Leo cut in. He pulls his sleeve up, “If it’s not enough, then I will offer my blood.”

Pryce frowned. “Even your blood won’t be enough—”

Leo didn’t wait. He took the blade from the kitchen, the sharpest one he recently run a stone over this morning. “I won’t let him die. Not like this.”

Evie stared in horror. “Add your blood? You’re insane.”

“You owe him,” Leo snarled, pointing at him. “You owe him, Everest! You did this to him, you should offer your blood to the boy you killed!”

Evie laughed once, sharp and humorless. “I don’t owe him sh*t.”

As Evie turned to leave, but Leo grabbed him by the elbow, gripping so hard its breaking his bone. Eve screams at the pain. “You don’t get to walk away from this. You killed him, and if he dies because of what you did I will kill you.”

Glass stood up and puts his hands on Evie. “Leo, let him go—”

“You too, Glass! He needs your blood too! If he loses his life then Everest pays with his, I’ll make sure of it.” That was enough for Glass’ half lidded eyes to become fully open for a second, concerned over Evie’s life.

“Enough!” Pryce snapped. “Are you aware that if we do this, he will be unable to leave, Leo? He will be tethered to the blood that turns him.”

Leo didn’t look away from Evie, whose green eyes flash with malicious realization. Evie suddenly smiles, “Tethered? Oh, I like that idea. Not only will your precious Jude be trapped here, but he will also be mine…”

Evie’s eyes turn red and Leo froze enough for him to pull his hand away. It was Evie who grabbed the knife first. “What are we waiting for? Leo wants him to live… let’s give our Chef the meal that he wants.”

Evie slices his own palm, holding it over Jude’s slightly open lips and allowing gravity to drain it into his throat.

Redd sighs, stepping forward since he knows it’s his fault that the Blood of the Lady isn’t enough. If it wasn’t used on him days ago, the vial would be enough to save Jude alone. “I offer mine as well.”

Glass followed, reluctant. He takes the knife from Evie’s hand. He doesn’t want Evie to get hurt more than he already is, so he splits his palm and offers his blood to Jude as well.

“With our blood,” Evie said darkly, “He belongs here.”

Redd followed, barely even flinching when he splits his hand. Finally Leo offered his own blood, whose hand hovered closest to Jude’s lips as his blood trickles down his throat. Anything to keep you alive.

“My love…” Salve held Jude’s hand, kissing him in a way he couldn’t before. “I love you so much…”

“Salve… bring me with you… I’m ready.“

When their blood finally flooded to Jude’s mouth, that’s when Pryce walked towards him to pour the Blood of the Lady until the last one drop enters his body. Pryce utters the prayer, “With the blood of our maker… you will be Hers. You will be Her child. You will be us.”

Just when Salve tries pulling him off the table, Jude’s mouth started bleeding in front of him.

“Jude? What’s going on?” Salve widens his eyes watching blood flood out of Jude’s mouth. “Jude!”

He tried to help him, but Jude’s hand slipped out of Salve’s, once again transparent. He fell back onto the table, mouth breathing and gasping in pain. Salve tried to embrace him, but he can no longer touch him. Jude is in pain, and Salve can’t comfort him anymore.

“JUDE! Stay with me!” He calls out…

JUDE CRESTON
his POV

… but my body reacted before my mind could. I choked, coughed, fingers twitching weakly against the table. To everyone else, it looked like drowning. I really was; my lungs were filling up with thick blood, my heart overwhelmed and cannot keep up. Even my brain; my skull drowning in blood that isn’t mine, flooding my thoughts until some of it pooled into my eyes.

I finally opened my mouth and puked out the coppery blood that overflowed through my mouth, sitting straight up to beg for the oxygen that I desperately want. I no longer feel myself…

I no longer feel…

I just feel… hungry. Thirsty.

I can feel each and every molecule of oxygen that enters my lungs; I can feel how it enters my bloodstream and run through my veins—as I inspect my arm and hand, I watch as my nerves spark against my muscle.

“Jude?” I don’t know whose voice that is. But I can hear each and every person’s heart beating against my ears, pounding in my brains.

I clamp my hands against my head yelling, “STOP! Stop it! Shut it up! SHUT IT UP!”

“Jude!” Strong arms embrace me and most importantly, held his arms around my head to ensure the loud heartbeats don’t damage my eardrums.

I hear someone scoff, then I hear the last voice I heard before being pushed off. “Sensitivity of the sensors. I hated that… remember when Redd tried to kill us because he hated hearing our digestive system?“

What’s going on? I sobbed, holding onto the man embracing me, but now the sound of heartbeats are drowned out by the sound of… blood through this man’s veins. Pulsing beautifully, smelling like the sweetest nectar I’ve ever tasted with my nose.

“The hunger. Leo, be careful,” says a familiar blonde. “Even though he doesn’t know how to feed yet, he can still bite a chunk out of you.”

Leo. I grabbed his clothes and opened my mouth for more of that sweet tasting nectar, but all I did was gasp and look up at him, who had me in his arms. I want it. Give it to me… !

“You’re not hungry Jude, it’s just instincts. You’ll get used to the smell soon.” Leo held me tight while I bit the air trying to smell more of that sweet nectar. “I’m bringing him to his room.”

“Tie him up, I don’t want a newborn walking around and finding himself anywhere near Lucy. Watch him carefully.” That voice sounded familiar. Like… the authoritative blonde.

“Don’t forget my blood is also inside him, Leo. Don’t hoard him all for yourself, when he belongs to all of us.” I know that voice. The last voice I heard before falling!

But I felt myself floating again, being held by none other than Leo. I trembled in his arms, whispering, “Cold… I’m cold…”

“It’s the fever,” he says. “It’s to prepare your body for expelling all your old blood from when you were a human.”

“Wh-what…” the heartbeats are fading. The smell of sweet nectar lingers, but no longer assaulting my senses. All I feel now is cold… “Old blood…?”

“I’m sorry… but this is for the best,” he says, laying me down on a familiar bed.

“B-but I’m supposed to go home. I’m supposed to meet Salve…” I tried to reach for Leo, but my hands are tied, and I cried even more because I can’t touch even him?! First Salve and now him?!

“Leo! Where is Salve?!” I started sobbing, trying to pull out of the chains. But all I see is Leo kneeling beside my bed with his hands clasped in prayer. “LEO! What is happening to me?! LEO, IT BURNS!”

“The turning,” Leo said quietly. He didn’t touch me. He just watched as my body betrayed me. Muscles locking, spine bowing, breath ripping in and out of my chest like I was being burned from the inside out.

“You’re no longer your old self, Jude,” he continued, voice steady. “You’re no longer human.”

My vision fractured. I screamed again—raw, wordless—my throat shredding with it. To say it burns would be an understatement, I was boiling.

“You are a child of the Lady,” Leo said. “You are us. A vampire.”

The pain spiked so suddenly I thought I might die again. My blood boiled—I could feel it evaporating, racing, screaming through me. My heart convulsed uselessly in my chest, unable to keep up with what was happening to it. It was worse than death. Worse than being alone. Worse than every quiet war I’d ever fought with myself.

“Your senses flare first,” he said softly, as if explaining a storm. “They always do, it’s an evolutionary trait. It’s so you’d survive if you were turned in the wild.”

“STOP IT!” I cried out, clamping my eyes shut, but it didn’t help. I could feel everything. Too much. Far too much, I’m begging for death.

“Then comes the hunger,” Leo went on. “Your body demands fuel beyond your control. It forces you to feed to ensure nourishment as you survive.”

I cried, thrashing in bed like I was possessed—it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life.

“And the fever,” he said, almost gently now. “That’s the cold you felt. It ensures you won’t burst into flames when the turning burns away your old cells, boiling your old blood out of you.”

“It hurts…” I sobbed loudly, squirming in my bed, “Leo, help… stop it, please! HELP ME!”

“We all went through this, Jude. I know exactly how you feel as if it happened to me just yesterday,” Leo didn’t do anything to help me. He just watched me burn. “After this, your life will never be the same. It’ll be better. You will be a better version of yourself. A superior creature than the humans.”

That’s when I looked behind him, and see Salve sobbing while covering his mouth, still there, still in his red sweater. Just seeing him made the pain more bearable. Knowing he didn’t leave me, knowing he’s still with me. “Salve…”

I passed out, feeling a sleep so restful I wanted to stay asleep for a long time. I’ve never slept so well before. It’s like I was a kid during summer again—no worries, no conflict, just sleep.

I was no longer tied up, but the ropes are still on the corner of my bed. Speaking of corners… “Salve?”

“Jude…” he stood in the corner of the room, hands to himself and eyes wary and fearful. I sighed in relief, smiling at him. But his voice remains trembling. “Jude, your eyes. They’re… horrifying.”

I stumbled up, noticing how light my body is and how smooth my joints are—I even tripped because of how gravity doesn’t seem to affect my body except pinning me to the ground. I stumbled to the dresser, looking at the small mirror where I saw my eyes. Bright red, staring back at me like it’s not mine. I dropped the mirror and backed away in panic.

Salve was still crying in the corner, so I overcame my initial panic to comfort him. “Don’t… don’t be scared. Salve, my love… I’m scared too, but… I’m more confused.”

“They turned you into a vampire,” he whispers, and the events from last night all came back to me like a stake through my brain.

Looking at the discarded mirror again, I noticed my hair being darker than the usual brown. My skin is the same, but transparent enough for me to see the veins when I normally couldn’t.

“Jude…” Salve calls, “I touched you. For once, I could really feel you. I was about to take you with me when… why you were pulled away from me.”

I didn’t get to say anything back because the door opened, and Leo came in quite shocked that I’m awake. “Jude. How do you feel? If you’re standing, you must feel better enough to eat.”

He was carrying a tray with a single bowl. Dark red, filled with nothing but blood. But I couldn’t smell it like a sweet nectar I did last night.

“This is a baby monkey’s blood. It won’t be delicious, but it’ll be a start. We will teach you how to feed later today,” he says, playing the tray on my study table.

“Why did you do that?” I ask him, my red eyes flaring with silent anger. “Don’t act as if I should be thankful—you didn’t bring me back to life, you turned me into a monster!”

“I’ll forgive you because you’re upset, but I’d refrain using that word in front of others—”

“What word?!” I yell, “MONSTER?! Which is what I am right now—GOD, F*CK! I’d rather die than drink a baby monkey’s blood, Leo! Why did you do this to me?!”

I cried, mourning the afterlife I could’ve had with Salve.

“I had to save you! I couldn’t let you die, not after my failure in the past!” He yells, grabbing me on both shoulders. Salve in the corner looked very upset.

“Get your hands off him!” He tried to grab Leo, but his hands went through him.

“I’m sorry, Jude…” he held me in his arms, hugging me as if offering the warmth I lack as a cold, dead vampire. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to die. I might murder Evie if you did. I might murder all of them if you did.”

“Why would you?” I can’t help but ask as a whisper, “Why turn me into a monster?”

“It was the only way… you were losing so much blood.” He kept me in his arms, even planting his lips on my head as a sincere apology. “You’re the only person I know to be real, Jude. Maybe it’s the humanity you’ve always had, but you’re special to me. And I didn’t want to lose you.”

He pulls away to face me directly with his confession, “Pryce, Evie, Glass and I grew up together, a decade now. But I was always the outcast, always the different one. I thought I could finally have a friend when Redd came here, but I didn’t get form connection with him because Evie sank his claws into the guy. You’re the only one who hasn’t fallen for Evie’s bullsh*t, so I had to preserve the connection we had. I had to preserve the perfect you that you are.”

I was torn away from Salve’s arms. Take away from a life with him. Now to live as a vampire? Now to live undead? Is life a gift… or have I been imprisoned?

VOTE | COMMENT | I’d let Evie sank his claws into me, ngl