Chapter 3

This isn’t the same Kid to me anymore. He’s not the random hot guy who walked in here an hour ago. He’s a really sweet, smart, sensitive, naïve Kid who has a boyfriend. He just doesn’t know it yet. Danny doesn’t have a foot fetish, or a tickle fetish. He has a Cole fetish. He’s in love with this Kid. And who could blame him. I am too. Dammit! How did it become my responsibility to clue this Kid in? Where are his parents? No, I’m not his dad. Or his teacher, his counsellor or even his Life Coach. But I feel like it. I feel like I’m his damn Uncle. That’s not what I had planned on feeling right about now. I squeeze my eyes closed and try to push the last lingering naughty thoughts from my mind as the Kid tries on his new socks and boots without my assistance. I’m not even 40 yet, but suddenly I feel like a dirty old man for what I’ve done here today. But I can make up for it.

“Hey Kid. Have you ever had a girlfriend?”

He blushes, “No. I haven’t.”

“How about a boyfriend?”

His blush deepens, “Not one of those either.”

“If you were to have either a girlfriend or a boyfriend, which would you prefer?”

I watch his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallows. “Umm… I’ve thought about it a little. I think it wouldn’t matter to me either way as long as it was the right person.”

I feel a lump in my throat and tears sting my eyes as I say, “That’s the most beautiful answer to that question that I’ve ever heard.”

He sees my misty eyes and reaches out a hand in concern, “Are you okay?”

I ignore the question, “Has Danny dated anyone since you’ve known him?”

He leans back and contemplates my question. “Come to think of it, no he hasn’t. That’s also weird because girls are constantly coming to our door looking for him. He’s always nice to them and gives them a few minutes of his time, but he never invites them in and he never leaves with them.”

“Why do you think that is?”

The Kid shrugs. “He hasn’t clicked with the right one yet?”

Danny is clicking with his right one alright. He just isn’t getting any clicks back. Yet. I place a hand on the Kid’s knee and give a gentle squeeze. “Let’s review what we know here. Danny is a good friend and a really nice guy. He is popular and a star athlete, but he spends most of his time hanging out with you. He turns away hot chicks because he’d rather be with you, even if it means rubbing your stinking feet. Every time he sees you, he smiles and hugs you. He gives you innocent massages just to have contact with you. He watches your lame videos and shows on your laptop just to be near you. Kid! Wake up! Danny is in love with you!”

His eyes bulge, “What? That’s not… Wait… Really?”

“You are both the smartest and the dumbest person I’ve ever met in my whole life.” I’m grinning at him. “Or you’re just an idiot 18-year-old boy like we all once were.” I give the knee another gentle squeeze, “From everything you’ve said, it sounds like you might like him too. I mean, ‘like-like’. Do you?”

He flops back in the chair. “I mean… Maybe? We only left school two days ago and I already kind of miss him. He’s definitely a gentle giant.”

I laugh, “Close your eyes and imagine Danny walking through the front door right now. How does that make you feel?”

He closes his eyes and a smile slowly materializes on his lips. He opens his eyes and leans forward again. “I felt a tingle.”

My eyes prickle with tears again and the lump is back in my throat. “Here’s the thing Kid. It’s a scary thing to take a chance and put yourself out there. He’s scared too. It’s especially dangerous when it’s two boys. What if he opened up to you and you turned him down? Not only would he be crushed, but he’d have to go on being your roommate. He might not have come right out and shared his innermost feelings with you yet, but he has made the first move. He’s been making that first move every single day for 9 months. He’s been dropping obvious clues everywhere that you’re too busy tripping over to actually notice. If this boy gives you the tingles, you need to get your head out of your ass and talk to him. Like really talk to him. He took the first step; you need to take the second step.”

The Kid frowns, “But the summer just started. I won’t see Danny again for 3 months.”

“You both go to Augustana, right? Where does he live?”

“That’s only 2 hours from here. Text him. Find out if he’s busy this weekend.”

“I don’t have a car.”

Dumb 18-year-old boys. “Does he? Maybe he could come up here. If not, you can borrow my car, or I’ll drive you down there myself.”

“Why would you do that for me? You’ve hardly known me for an hour.”

Because I’m a gross creeper and I need to make up for my earlier behavior. A tear rolls down my cheek and I force a smile. “I’m a sucker for a true love story. Send that text! Now!”

The Foot Doctor is a really nice guy. Just like with David and my coworkers… How did I get so lucky?

I text Danny: “Hey. It’s Cole. I feel kind of stupid saying this. I know it’s only been a couple days but… I don’t know. I miss hanging out with you.”

Danny texts back immediately: “I am pretty awesome. I’d miss me too if I were you. LOL”

He adds a winking yellow emoji guy and I smile.

Me: “Are you free this weekend? If you can find a way to get up here, I’d like to show you around. Introduce you to some people. Hang out. Go to the beach at the lake or maybe go to Six Flags.”

Danny: “Really? We’ve never done anything off campus together before. Yeah, I’m free. I’d love to come see you this weekend. I can borrow my mom’s car. Wait. Is this just because you miss my incredible foot massages?”

Me: “LOL No. I mean I kind of do, but that’s not why. We can go to the beach or do whatever you want, but more than anything, I need to talk to you.”

Danny: “Are you okay?”

Me: “Better than ever. Well, once I… When I see you again… I’ll be better than ever. Danny… I… I didn’t know until just this moment that it was possible to stutter in a text.”

Danny: “Dude. Cole. You know you can tell me anything.”

The Foot Doctor has been reading this text exchange in real time as it’s been happening. I look into his eyes and he gives me a nod of encouragement.

Me: “Danny, I like you. I mean, I like-like you. There’s like a million reasons why and I want to tell you all of them. If we stay in all weekend, talking, eating pizza and getting fat, that’ll be fine too. I kind of feel like I’ve wasted the better part of 9 months and I have some catching up to do.”

There is a long pause with nothing. Excruciatingly long. I feel like I might cry. Finally, three dots appear.

Danny: “I can’t believe this is for real. I didn’t think you… I mean you never…”

Me: “I always did. I’ve just come to realize that my head was too far up my ass to… Danny? I really need a hug.”

The Foot doctor laughs. Danny and I text a few more times back and forth and we hammer out a plan to meet up Friday night and spend the weekend together. At my house. Where my unsuspecting parents live. This is going to be a big weekend. The Foot Doctor and I both stand. I’ve never been a big hugger, but I hug the shit out of him.

The Kid hugs me hard and for the third time in the past 20 minutes, a large lump swells in my throat. He thanks me again, but I just wave it off.

He says, “David told me you give all of his guys foot check-ups every six months. I guess my feet won’t be seeing you again until a year from now when I come back next summer.”

I grin, “Oh, I think I’ll be seeing your feet again sooner than you think. Like, tonight. At the poker game.”

He looks confused, “I’ve heard of no-shoes houses but not no socks. What do I not know about the game tonight?”

“David didn’t tell you, huh? We’re not just playing poker. We’re playing Strip Poker! I have no doubt your naked feet will be making a grand appearance.”

The Kid looks concerned, “Umm…”

“It’ll be fine. You’re among friends. But I will say, if you’re gonna sit next to me, you do need to stop at home and take a quick shower first. You do kind of reek.”

The Kid blushes, “Oh my god! I knew it! This is so embarrassing.”

I chortle, “I’m just giving you crap. You’re fine. Really. But still… Take that shower.”

I unlock the door and let him out, wearing his new work socks and work boots. He seems to have left his dirty old white Nike crew socks behind. Maybe that’s because they were out of sight and out of mind. Out of site in my back pocket. A souvenir for me. It’s not creepy. Not really. If I’m like an Uncle to the Kid, that’s fine. Sometimes Uncles and nephews horse around. Wrestle. Have tickle fights. Steal each other’s dirty sweat socks. Right? Maybe not. Do I need help?