Chapter 23 – Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

As Steve struggled, I waited. Lori interrupted my wait with troublesome news. "Karen Nemelka's sniffing around your man," she said.

"She's sniffing the wrong man," I said. She didn't believe me. I didn't, either.

With Sally not around to invade, I slid a note through the slats in Steve's locker:

Steve:

I am so sorry for my part in this rupture.

I hope you come back.

I miss you.

I miss us.

Eric

When school ended, Steve was at my locker and offered to drive me home. But, he didn't drive me home. Instead, he drove me back to the scene of the crime, the secluded picnic table.

"Why are we here, Steve?"

"To turn back the clock. I want to go back to where we were. Lie down on the grass."

I did. He did, too. We were as we were.

"Let's pretend there's no baby," he said. "Let's pretend we've just finished making love in the back seat and are here, relaxing and soaking it all in."

"I love you, Steve."

"I love you, too, Eric."

"I want to spend the day here with you."

"Let's do it."

We laid there quietly for a long time. Every once and again, Steve squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back.

Calm spread over me, for the first time in awhile. Every other time I had been this close to Steve, sex intruded. On this day, in this moment, there was no intrusion. I loved this moment for this moment, not for what it portended or promised, but for what it was.

As we drove home, I joked that Steve could drop me where he'd dropped me before. "Don't tempt me," he joked.

I decided to press the moment. "I hear Karen's been sniffing around."

"She has."

"Are you interested?"

"I'm interested in the fact she's interested."

"Why?"

"She knows about you, but she either doesn't care or thinks you're no match for her. I'm interested in finding out which one."

I wondered if it was that innocent. I hoped it was, but I was circumspect.

"You should ask her out," I said.

"Eric, stop. You don't mean that, and I know you don't mean that. Stop pretending you mean what you don't."

"Okay, Steve. But, I think sooner than later, you are going to have to choose your future, and I don't think you're going to choose me. I don't think I'm your future."

"We can't know the future. We can only know the now. I'm here now."

"Pull over."

He did. I moved my face to his, kissing his mouth, his chin, and his neck. As I did, I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and released him. It had been awhile. I took Steve in my mouth, and I sucked him as hard as I could. He came quickly, filling my mouth. I drank all he offered.

Steve responded by pinning me to the door. He kissed me, licked me, and did what I had done to him; he took me in his mouth, and he worked me until I finished deep in his throat.

*****

As the semester headed toward its close, Karen kept sniffing around. I had Steve, but my grip was tenuous.

I was certain Steve and I would be going to Prom together, but he never asked. I didn't, either. Action became inaction, and we ultimately decided to skip Prom. And, by we, I mean, he.

Lori busted my bliss. "He wanted to take her, not you. He knew you'd explode, so he balked at taking either of you."

"You're speculating."

"Maybe. But, maybe not. And, that's pretty scary, isn't it?"

Instead of going to Prom, we gathered in Steve's basement. We had a great time, mimicking our post-Coronation party. Steve and I abided by the new rules. When the party was over, we slept in different rooms. I lay there hoping he'd sneak in, but he didn't.