Chapter 6 – Chapter 6

Part Six

As we waited for our flights in the airport (I was headed to Chicago and Wardo was headed to Indy), we shared a drink. We were at a small table, and I pressed my leg to his. He pressed back and smiled. When it was time to go to our gates, we embraced.

"If I don't see you before, I'll see you at the wedding," I said.

"Let's try to get together before that," he said. "Just you and me, two nap buddies having one last weekend together as bachelors."

"Sounds great," I said. "How about this weekend? I can drive down or you can drive up."

"I'll drive up," Wardo offered.

Wardo rolled into Wrigleyville about 8 p.m. on Friday night. After we stowed his bag in my second bedroom, we headed out for dinner and drinks. We ate at a local joint, then headed to my favorite neighborhood bar. We bought a bottle of vodka and filled our own glasses while we watched the Cubs and Pirates spar and talked.

"So, are you excited for the wedding?" I asked.

"I guess. I think I'm more excited for it to be over. It's a lot of cost, effort, and time for a single day."

"I've never understood that."

"Me, either. But, Jenny's been dreaming of this day for years."

Changing the subject, I asked "What do you want to do this weekend?"

"Anything you want," he said. "I'm here to see you, not Chicago."

I wondered if his answer was loaded. I am not a naturally patient person, but I decided that patience was a virtue at that point.

After another vodka, Wardo asked me about my personal life. He wanted to know if I was dating anyone (I wasn't) and if I had ever seriously dated anyone (I had). He also wanted to know about when I "turned gay."

"You're such a rube," I said, a little disappointed. "I didn't 'turn gay,' Dipshit. I was born gay. No one would 'turn gay.' It's not fun being different from most everyone else, especially when you grow up Catholic and are told over and over that what you are is against God's will and will lead to eternal damnation."

"Were you gay in high school?"

"Yes, Dipshit. As I just indicated, I was born gay. So, I had to be gay in high school."

"I mean, did you know you were gay in high school?" he clarified.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me? I was your best friend. You could have trusted me." He seemed wounded as he talked.

"I didn't trust anyone. Being gay in our high school would have been the end of me. Can you imagine how Jim and Matt and Bill would have treated me? It was bad enough I was a brain. I'd have been run out on a rail, if I was a gay brain."

"Still, I wish I had known," Wardo offered.

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's weird. It wouldn't have mattered, but I guess it might have mattered."

I didn't understand his answer then. I did eventually.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked.

"Sure."

"When we were in high school, I licked your nipple. I was staying at your house. You were asleep. I couldn't help myself." I paused, realizing I sounded creepy. "I'm sorry."

"So, you wanted me in high school?"

"Wanted you? I more than wanted you, Wardo. I was madly in love with you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"What would have been the point? Other than to ruin our friendship? How would you have reacted if I had pledged my love for you? You'd have run, leaving us in ruins."

"Well, you're telling me now, and I'm not running."

"That was then, this is now," I offered.

"I wish I had known."

"Why?" I asked. "So you could have asked me to the prom? Or asked me to go steady?"

"I don't know. I just wish I had known."

We drank on, as I wondered why. We talked and talked, talking endlessly about nothing. We were six again, playing long past the time reasonable people would have gotten bored. As we walked back to my condo, Wardo put his arm around me and pulled me into him. A passerby would have taken us for lovers.

Home, we clumsily said good night and headed to our separate rooms. I stripped down and climbed into my bed, a little frustrated and wondering if I should have invited Wardo to share a bed with me, as we had so many times before. As I wondered, Eddie appeared in my door, wearing only boxers.

"Are you awake?" he asked.

"Sure."

He moved to the edge of the bed and sat down. "Can I sleep in here?"

"Sure. But, I'm naked."

"I'll get naked, too," he said, sliding his boxers off and sliding in next to me. His mouth was immediately on mine. "I didn't drive three hours to sleep alone," he whispered in my ear when our kiss ended. "I drove here to be with you."

We made out as we rolled back and forth on the bed, each of us trying to get the upper hand. Eddie won and pinned me down. "I want to fuck you," he said.

"There are condoms and lube in the drawer," I said.

"Do I need a condom?" he asked.

"To be safe."

"We didn't use them last weekend."

"We didn't have any."

"I don't like them. If you're sick, then it's already too late for me."

He pulled the lube out of the drawer and coated himself. I raised my legs and guided him into me. Wardo closed his eyes as he fucked me. I wanted him to slow down and make it last, but he seemed too lost in it already. I focused on his face as I jacked myself to the brink. I held off until I felt him swell inside me. We came together, noisily.

After we cleaned up, Wardo settled on his back, and I laid with my head on his shoulder, his arm around me while I played with his chest hair and traced his collarbone.

"I like fucking you," he said.

"I like when you fuck me."

"I'm not surprised by that," he responded. "You're gay. But, I'm surprised I like it. I'm not gay."

I almost responded "the evidence suggests otherwise," but I thought better of it. I kissed his nipple instead.

"When did you figure out you were gay?" he asked.

"I don't know. I think I always knew. I always liked looking at men more than women. When we were little, I really liked watching Mike work out." Mike was Eddie's oldest brother, and he lifted weights long before it became a thing to do so. When he was in high school, he had a sculpted body, and he used to lift weights shirtless in the Estes basement while Eddie and I played with his Hot Wheels. I had stared at him while he did.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Do you remember the New Year's Eve when we got the hotel room in Indy in hopes of getting laid?"

"Sure."

"When we struck out, you drove to the hotel, and said 'we could go in and just sex each other.' If I had said 'okay,' would you have gone through with it?"

"I dunno. I was horny. I might've. But, I probably would have gotten off and then left you hanging."

"Did you think I was gay?"

"Not at all."

"Then why did you say it?"

"I dunno. I was horny. And, you were my best friend. If I was ever going to sex a guy, I'd have wanted it to be you. . . . Why didn't you say anything?"

"Are you kidding? I was paralyzed with fear. I worried that you were joking and, if I said 'okay, let's go,' you'd have freaked out."

"I might've. I definitely would have freaked out if we had gone in and gone through with it. It's probably best we didn't."

"You haven't freaked out since."

"I have. I totally freaked out in Paris. I scrubbed myself raw in the shower and tried to figure out a way to get my stuff without seeing you again. It took me a long time to get over the fact that I had fucked you. I tried for a long time to blame you, but honesty won out. It wasn't your fault. But, I couldn't accept that I had done it."

I moved my hand to his crotch as he played with my hair. I tickled his dick and his balls. He opened his legs for access.

"Did you have last weekend planned?"

"It was in the back of my head. I suspect I'd have let it pass if it weren't for all the vodka. I'm not very bold, left to myself."

"Did you like it when I took your cherry?"

"I'm not sure I liked it. I was more surprised than anything else. I was surprised you were trying to do it. I was more surprised I wanted to let you. And, I was even more surprised it didn't hurt more than it did."

"I liked it."

"I could tell. And, I liked that you liked it. I usually fuck with my eyes closed. I liked that you fucked with your eyes open."

"The next time you fuck me, assuming there is a next time, you should do it with your eyes open."

"Oh, there'll be a next time," Wardo promised. "In the meantime, how about a blow job?" he asked, pushing my head toward his dick.

I needed little encouragement. I took him in my mouth as my head rested on his stomach. I stroked him as I swirled his head in my mouth. I swallowed all he had when he came.

When we were done, we laid face to face and talked some more. I wish I could tell you about what. Likely, we talked about nothing. But, we talked and talked, neither of us wanting the day to end.