Chapter 52

-Dante-

Ever since I was turned into a werewolf, I hadn’t felt the way I did when I woke up that morning. I stared at the ceiling, listening to Chase’s steady breathing as he continued sleeping.

I was calm.

“Killian…” I breathed out the name, and for the first time ever, that name didn’t scare me. No, it brought me peace. He was next. My revenge was next, and I felt invincible.

There was, of course, a small problem.

“So, how are we going to find him?”

We all stood in the middle of Ben’s living room a few hours later. Chase, Roe, Ben, Zane, Aaliyah and Frank. Seeing them all there, still standing by my side even though this had nothing to do with them, was one of the reasons why I felt calm. I was not alone.

The merchant, Arthyzn, had a frown on his face as he thought about Roe’s question.

“I haven’t heard anything from Donovan, but last time I checked, Killian had three bases Donovan knew of. One of which they destroyed after your escape, and the other one got just blown up by you guys.”

“I scoured the entire place and found nothing,” Roe said, looking increasingly pissed as his restlessness was growing. “Not a single clue. Not even a piece of paper. It was clean.”

“That leaves us the third base,” Arthyzn sighed. “But I doubt they have evidence just lying around. We could check it out, but that will alert them, and I strongly advice against taking unnecessary risks.”

“It’ll be a waste of time,” I said. “The one they held me at was tightly secured, and they never left anything just lying around.”

“Then what? How are we going to find them?” Roe asked again, pacing restlessly.

Silence fell into the house for a long while as we all tried to come up with an answer. There had to be something. Anything.

“Do you have a way of contacting Donovan so we could ask if he’s got any ideas?” Chase asked, but Arthyzn shook his head. “Nothing at all?”

“I can only hope he’ll give me a call one of these days,” Arthyzn sighed. “But I doubt he’ll take the risk. He’s a lone wolf, you see.”

“If we had his DNA, I could make a blood call,” Chase sighed.

“Blood call?” I frowned.

“I use that method when I need to call my parents in case they don’t pick up their phone,” Chase shrugged. “Little bit of my own blood and I can contact them. I need DNA.”

“We could go check his house?” Ben suggested.

Arthyzn shook his head. “That house is being watched. I wouldn’t recommend.”

“Another risk we can’t take, huh?” Roe grunted.

“If we go to that house, get the DNA, but Killian hears about it, is it worth it? We might as well use Dante as a bait because it’ll have the same outcome!” Arthyzn said in annoyance and scoffed when Roe didn’t reply.

“I’m up for being used as a bait,” I said, but Chase shook his head.

“We are not doing that,” he said, leaving no room for arguments.

“Do we have any other choice?” Roe asked, but Chase only got angrier at him.

But before he could say a word, Aaliyah cleared her throat, and all eyes were on her.

“Or we could find someone else to interrogate,” she spoke.

“Someone else?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Us vampires and werewolves have one thing in common: we are forever connected to our sires. Our makers.”

For a brief second, I wondered why that could be helpful in any way, and by the looks on everyone else’s faces, I could tell they were thinking the same. Then something nudged my memories.

“Whoever turned me was working for Lena,” I said, thinking about the memory the dwarven elders showed us. “It wasn’t an accident, that person was clearly on a mission to turn me.”

“Lena and Graham had the perfect werewolf,” Arthyzn nodded, his expression slowly turning excited. “That could actually work, but how are we supposed to find him?”

“Like I said, we are connected to our sires,” Aaliyah spoke. “We can feel their presence if we try hard enough.”

“I have no idea how to do that,” I said. “I’ve never felt a connection like that.”

“Well then,” Roe said, closing his fist around thin air in front of him, and I saw a hint of black smoke seeping through his fingers. “I’m glad I didn’t waste all that money for nothing,” he ended, opening his fist again to show us my ring. The Mjyrna ring.

“Yes – that will work perfectly,” Aaliyah said and got up from her seat to get the ring. “With this, you can focus on hearing that connection, and I can guide you through it.”

“What are the risks?” Arthyzn asked cautiously.

“He won’t feel us, if that’s what you mean,” Aaliyah said.

“And after we find him, then what?”

“We kidnap him, of course,” Aaliyah said in a scarily pleasant voice. “I can invade his mind and find everything there is to know about his connection with Killian.”

Arthyzn stayed silent for a moment, clearly weighing the risks. “We need to be subtle. No barging in and blowing up half the place, got it?”

“We can do subtle,” Chase shrugged.

“Can you?”

“Eh, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” my lover smirked and stood up as well. “Let’s find that asshole.”

“It has to be done in a quiet, calm environment,” Aaliyah said. “And you might want to take some time to–”

“I’m ready,” I interrupted her. “I’ll only get more anxious if we wait.”

She nodded slowly. “We’ll proceed carefully. Using this ring can be dangerous, especially for someone like you who’s been through so much horror.”

“I know the deal,” I said shortly, getting up as well. “Let’s get this party started.”

“I think our bedroom is quiet enough,” Chase said as he joined us. “I’ll be there with you.”

I gave him a nod, feeling grateful. I was suddenly not so calm anymore, though I wasn’t scared of the ring – I was nervous over the idea of meeting my maker. My… sire. That term didn’t sit well with me. It emphasized the fact that Rassawolves – my kind – were bred like animals, and it was still making me sick. We were still humans, for fuck’s sake, and those sick bastards were apparently sending their males out to… I didn’t even want to think about it.

But it made me wonder… would that have been my job, too?

“Let’s find that bastard,” I said before my anger could leak over. “We’re ending them now.“

A short moment later, I sat down on our bed and leaned against the headboard. Chase followed me slowly, while Aaliyah stood at the end of it. She gave me a smile, but still looked slightly concerned.

“I’ve taught a few other vampires to find their sires over the years,” she spoke. “I’m not an expert, but I’m sure everything will go well as long as we move slowly. I trust Chase’s presence works as an anchor for you to hold on to in case you lose your path. If you lose my voice, find his. He’ll be easier for you to find in the darkness.”

I nodded.

“Before we begin, I want you to bring forth the last memory you have of your sire. I need you to think about that exact memory when you look into the ring. That way it will be easier for us to find the right way.”

“My last memory?” I muttered. “My own memory or the one the Dwarven Elders showed us?”

“We can work with the fake memory, but the real one is a stronger anchor,” Aaliyah said, slowly sitting down in front of me, hiding the ring in her fist. “When we begin, you need to focus on that memory with everything you got. Push out everything else, and focus on the details in that moment. The smaller the details, the better we will succeed.”

“And what if I can’t?” I asked.

“Follow my voice,” she said calmly. “If I can’t reach you, Chase will take the lead to bring you back.”

“Can’t you just hide the ring from me?” I asked out of curiosity – that usually did the trick.

“We are going so deep down the memory lane that you won’t find your way back even if we did that,” Aaliyah explained. “People have lost their minds using this ring without anchors.”

“Got it,” I nodded, and turned to look at Chase, suddenly feeling the need to try to memorize every single little detail on his face.

“And whatever you do, stay calm. These are just memories, and they cannot hurt you, no matter what. If you find yourself facing things you can’t handle, and you can’t hear our voices, think of something that makes you happy.”

I nodded again. “Can we just do it already?”

Aaliyah sighed and looked at Chase like she was asking for his help.

“You do understand that this can be very dangerous if we just barge in, right?” Chase asked. “I’m serious, people have died using these stones too recklessly.”

I let out a deep sigh. “Fine. What else do I need to know?”

Nothing too profound, apparently. Just tricks and hints about what to do if I get lost in my memories, and they spent the rest of the time ranting about the importance of staying calm.

“When you enter the trance, you will be at the mercy of your own mind,” Aaliyah finally said. “Be careful.”

And then she let me look at the ring. I didn’t hesitate staring right into it, and only a second later, I could feel it pulling me in. I honestly didn’t even understand losing myself in it. I didn’t understand the darkness that surrounded me, or the fact that I couldn’t even see the ring anymore.

Like I was asleep, or dead. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

‘Can you hear me?’

I didn’t understand her voice either. I heard it, but my head completely forgot to react to it. Like it was never there.

‘Dante?’

Nothing.

‘Dante? Can you hear me?’

Suddenly, I wasn’t alone anymore. The beast was there, too. He stood on his hind legs, his front paws hanging in the air in front of him. He stared at me with his lips pulled back to show his fangs. He wasn’t angry at me. He didn’t want to attack me, he was just… curious. There was so much human in him…

They made us like this…

“I hear you,” I spoke quietly, but saying all three words took a lot of effort.

‘Good, and the memory?’

The memory…? Right! Right… My maker…

Oh, God, this was difficult. If I let myself drift even a little, it took me years to find my focus again. It felt like years. Talking and trying to stay focused felt like I was moving in a quicksand at the bottom of an ocean, carrying an elephant on my shoulders and singing the national anthem of The Netherlands, using lyrics written in Chinese.

‘The memory? Can you see him?’

Again, I had to fight so goddamn hard to find the right memory, but now it was getting a little bit easier to think. I just needed to stay focused. As long as I stayed focused, it was easier.

But the real problem was that I couldn’t remember much about the night I got turned into a werewolf. The memory the Elders had shown us was easier to remember. Aaliyah kept whispering in my ear, telling me to hold on to one single detail about that night, but at first, I couldn’t. There was nothing to hold on to.

Then I remembered the woods next to the pathway. It appeared on my left, and with Aaliyah coaxing me, I focused on a single branch. I did my best not to let my mind wander, and little by little, I could paint a bigger picture of that night.

‘Good, good. Now, where is he?’

I slowly turned to look past the bushes and trees. And there he was. I could only see shady outlines of a big creature in the darkness, but I knew it was him. I could almost hear him growl at me. I could almost see the triumph in his eyes.

In a split second, I was lying on the ground, the wolf on top of me. I could feel the pain on my neck as he bit his teeth deep into my flesh. I yelled in agony; the fear settling into my heart. I could no longer remember this was just a memory. It all was so vivid now, so detailed that I might as well have been tossed back in time to relive this moment all over again.

‘Focus! Dante!’ Aaliyah’s voice was only a distant echo. ‘Stay calm!’

I lost myself, and I lost the memory. It grew into something nightmarish, something I actually never experienced. There were suddenly three wolves, all looking exactly the same, and they were all tearing me apart. I screamed, yelled and tried to fight back, but I got quickly covered in hundreds of wounds, and the ground – no, the entire scene turned red from blood.

‘Dante!‘

It happened so fast… The wolves were no longer wolves, but Rassawolves. The three big beasts continued tearing me apart over and over again, ripping through my flesh like it was cotton candy. I was so filled with terror that I didn’t realize the amount of limbs and skin and muscles they tore off me was utterly impossible. It was a loop I couldn’t break free from.

‘DANTE!’

Chase. It was now Chase who yelled at me so loudly I couldn’t hear the angry growls behind it. Thinking of his name nudged something in my head. Good memory. I needed a good memory.

“… you… until… and…”

Those words. I focused on those three words. He spoke them. Chase… Chase! The one we love! I love! What did he say…? What did he say that made my heart flutter…?

“… wearing diapers.”

Yes! That was it, that was… He said that… that… he said…

“I want you to stay with me until we’re both old, fragile and wearing diapers.“

The wolves were gone. So was the street. Instead, I was walking to our bed that was floating in the darkness. I stopped next to it and dropped Chase on it. He laughed as he flashed his flirty eyes at me.

‘Can you hear me now?’

“Yes,” I breathed out. “I… Sorry…”

‘Don’t worry about it. You did great. This memory is your anchor now. Use it if you feel like you’re losing control.’

I looked down at Chase, who was getting rid of his shirt. I kind of forgot to listen to Aaliyah as I watched him.

‘Dante!’

“Yes! Sorry…” I forced myself to turn my back on the bed and focused again on the memory of my sire. “I’ll try again.”

‘You have control over that memory. You can stop him before he bites you,’ Aaliyah told me. ‘You need to stop him so you can look at him. If you do, you should be able to find the connection you have with him.’

“Okay,” I breathed out, already feeling almost too exhausted to try again, but I couldn’t back off now.

After a long, exhausting battle, I found the memory again. As I painted it, I was more wary of the dangers of my own mind. I was ready this time. When the wolf appeared in front of me, showing his fangs with his ears pulled back, I did my best to do what Aaliyah asked: to pause the memory.

‘Clear your mind. Do not think about what happens next. It’s a picture. You’re looking at a picture.’

This definitely wasn’t the easiest part. I failed several times. I couldn’t stop the memory, but at least this time I was able to stay calm when the wolf attacked, and the memory vanished every time he jumped at me.

Three tries later, I got the hang of it. I was finally able to stop thinking about what happened next, and the wolf froze in front of me. It took a lot of mental energy to keep it that way, however.

‘Good, stay focused. Can you feel it?’

No, I couldn’t feel anything. I stared at the wolf, but I felt nothing.

‘Take your time. Focus on it. Forget about everything else. Breathe. Clear your mind. Listen. Feel.’

She fell silent, and so did the world around me. Keeping my head cleared was difficult. I used all my focus trying to find something, anything, out of the ordinary.

At first, I thought it was because I’d stared at the damn wolf for so long, when it suddenly started to feel familiar. There was something in his eyes I recognized, but that was impossible, right? I’d never seen a wolf in my life before he bit me. It took embarrassingly long to understand that the familiarity was exactly what I was supposed to find.

The connection.

I couldn’t say I had felt that connection before, but it was familiar. Somehow.

“I found it,” I muttered.

‘Are you sure?’

“Yes.”

‘Good. Now focus on it until you are absolutely sure you won’t lose it.’

I did exactly that, but Aaliyah didn’t let me leave that place just yet. She asked me to think of another memory – I chose Chase again – and stay in it for a while before summoning the memory of my sire again. Then she told me to find the connection. I had to repeat this several times until I could feel the connection even when I was in another memory.

‘Good. Now you need to come back to us.’

“How?” I felt silly looking around, almost hoping there was a door or a staircase or something leading me out of that place.

‘Follow my voice. Forget about everything else, and come to me,’ she said.

I had no idea where her voice was coming from. Mostly it felt like she was speaking inside me, so I had no idea where to go. The darkness surrounded me, and I even closed my eyes to hear her better.

‘Come – this way.’

Left or right? Up? Down? Behind me?

‘This way.’

I was fairly sure she was somewhere in front of me, so I started walking. She kept repeating those two words, and after a moment, I could hear her louder. I had to be going the right way.

‘This way.’

Yeah, I was definitely going the right way. It became clear after a while when the darkness suddenly didn’t feel so dark anymore. I could see light. I could almost see Aaliyah in front of me. Her features were faint like she was just a ghost, but the closer I got, the clearer her image became. Then I actually saw her in front of me.

And I woke up.

“Welcome back,” she smiled at me, and Chase hugged me. “That went surprisingly well.”

“You’re just trying to humor me,” I said.

“Can you still feel the connection?” she asked.

I smiled at her.

“Yes.”