Chapter 47
The summons arrived shortly before sunset.
By then the wedding celebrations had already consumed half the palace.
Music drifted through the open corridors. Servants hurried past carrying flowers and silver trays. Everywhere Est looked, people seemed lighter somehow. The assassination attempt had failed. Prince Anen lived. The wedding would proceed.
The kingdom was happy.
Est followed the royal attendant through increasingly grand corridors without thinking much of it.
Perhaps Prince Anen wished to thank him again.
Gods knew the man seemed determined to do so at least three times a day.
When the doors to the Great Hall opened, however, Est immediately understood this was something else entirely.
The Great Hall had been transformed overnight.
It blazed with candlelight reflected against polished marble and gold. Massive sapphire banners hung between towering columns while musicians played softly somewhere beyond the open arches facing the cliffs.
This was not a casual summons.
The realization settled uneasily in Est’s stomach the moment he stepped inside.
Both royal families were present.
The King and Queen sat near the center dais alongside Prince Anen and Princess Popeya, while Mia and Hong lounged nearby speaking quietly with several western nobles. Advisors and high-ranking military officials lined the edges of the chamber, along with several commanders from both kingdoms.
And William.
Gods.
William stood near one of the open balconies dressed once again in dark formalwear, silver catching softly along the edges of his sleeves beneath candlelight. The moment Est entered, his gaze lifted immediately.
Warmth flashed in his eyes.
Est bowed formally before the assembled royals despite the uncomfortable pull in his healing shoulder.
“Your Majesties. My lords.”
The King smiled first.
Not coldly.
Not formally.
Genuinely.
“Rise, Est.”
The King’s voice carried easily through the room.
Warm.
Almost proud.
Est felt unease settle immediately beneath his ribs.
Kings did not sound proud when speaking to bodyguards.
Not usually.
When he straightened, his gaze found William instinctively.
The prince stood near one of the open balconies overlooking the cliffs.
Their eyes met.
For one brief moment William smiled.
Small.
Private.
The kind reserved only for Est.
Then confusion flickered across his expression.
Because clearly he hadn’t been told why he was here either.
That somehow made Est feel worse.
Prince Anen stepped forward slightly then, expression far too pleased with himself already.
“I believe,” he said smoothly, “that gratitude is long overdue.”
Est immediately wanted to leave.
The feeling worsened when several nobles around the hall nodded in clear agreement.
“My prince, truly, there is no need – “
“There absolutely is,” Anen interrupted without hesitation.
Hong grinned openly nearby like he already knew what was happening.
Traitor.
Anen continued anyway.
“You prevented a political catastrophe, saved my life, protected my future wife, and very likely prevented conflict between our kingdoms before it could even begin.” His mouth curved faintly. “Frankly, merely giving you jewels felt insufficient.”
Soft amusement moved through parts of the room.
“You preserved an alliance between kingdoms.”
Silence settled fully now.
The prince smiled.
“And then had the audacity to act as though none of it was worth mentioning.”
A few commanders chuckled.
Est wished desperately for the floor to open beneath him.
Because that wasn’t how he remembered that night.
He remembered blood.
Pain.
Instinct.
Training.
Nothing more.
Not heroics.
Not greatness.
Just duty.
Est felt dread beginning to creep steadily upward his spine.
Because this was beginning to sound dangerously important.
The Queen spoke next.
And that truly alarmed him.
“It has long been clear that your talents exceed your current station.”
Est went very still.
William’s expression shifted subtly across the room.
Attention sharpening immediately.
The King inclined his head slowly. “Prince Anen personally requested that your actions be formally recognized by both courts.”
A pause.
Silence settled through the hall.
Est felt it before the words even arrived.
Something changing.
Something enormous.
Anen smiled openly now.
“And after consultation with our military council…” the King smiled, “…we have accepted.”
The room erupted.
Applause.
Cheers.
Laughter.
Someone raised a goblet.
Another officer called out congratulations.
Yet Est barely heard any of it.
Because he already knew.
Even before the King continued.
He knew.
“Upon our return home,” he announced clearly, “you are to be formally promoted and elevated within the royal military structure.”
The room erupted immediately into applause.
Est barely heard it.
The King continued speaking over it regardless.
“You will no longer remain simply a royal bodyguard.”
And there it was.
The sentence struck like a blade directly between Est’s ribs.
Around the hall, nobles looked pleased.
Impressed.
Several military officers nodded approvingly toward him.
Someone congratulated him loudly from the western side of the room.
But Est heard almost none of it.
Because suddenly the room had narrowed sharply around one horrifying realization.
No longer William’s bodyguard.
His eyes found William instinctively.
Across the hall.
Across all the applause and celebration and smiling faces.
William.
The prince had gone perfectly still.
No one else would have noticed.
No one.
Years of royal training protected him.
His posture remained elegant.
His expression composed.
The smile still rested politely upon his lips.
But Est knew him.
Gods.
He knew him.
And for one tiny unforgivable second before William masked it –
Est saw it.
Shock.
Fear
Then something far worse.
Panic.
Gone immediately afterward.
Buried beneath princely perfection.
But not before Est saw it.
Not before it lodged itself like a knife beneath his ribs.
The room continued celebrating.
Anen, oblivious or pretending to be, continued speaking.
“The exact appointment will be determined after discussions with the military council upon your return,” he explained. “Leadership over one of the kingdom’s primary divisions – north, south, east, or west command most likely.”
Another wave of approval moved through the gathered nobles.
A commander. Gods.
It was an extraordinary honor.
The sort of promotion most soldiers spent entire lifetimes dreaming of.
And Est could not refuse it.
Not without inviting questions.
Dangerous questions.
Because no sane man would reject this.
Not publicly.
Not in front of two royal courts.
Not after Anen had personally requested it.
Not after the King himself had approved it.
No sane officer would decline.
No loyal soldier would hesitate.
This was everything he had technically worked toward his entire life.
Everything.
And yet all he felt was unease.
Because everyone else looked delighted.
The realization settled cold and sick inside him.
His chest tightened painfully.
Anen was speaking again.
Something about military divisions.
North. South. East. West.
Future commands.
Future responsibilities.
Future honors.
Est heard almost none of it.
Because all he could think about was William standing there pretending to be happy.
Pretending beautifully.
Pretending because he loved him.
That realization hurt more than anything.
Because William wasn’t angry.
Wasn’t resentful.
He wasn’t thinking about himself at all.
He was trying to be happy for Est.
Trying so hard.
Hong looked between them suddenly, some flicker of realization passing briefly over his face before he masked it quickly again.
The Queen was watching both of them too.
Carefully.
Far too carefully.
Est forced himself to speak before the silence stretched too long.
“My king…” His voice sounded strangely distant to his own ears. “This is far more than I deserve.”
“Nonsense,” the King replied immediately. “You acted with extraordinary courage.”
“And loyalty,” Anen added quietly.
The word landed heavily somehow.
William finally moved then.
Only slightly.
But enough that Est’s attention snapped instinctively toward him again.
Their eyes met across the hall.
And gods.
That hurt.
Because suddenly five weeks of longing and fever and desperate kisses in sickrooms collided violently against this new reality opening beneath them.
No longer William’s shadow.
No longer beside him every day.
No longer sleeping outside his chambers.
No longer reaching for him instinctively during danger because someone else would stand there instead.
Est kept his face perfectly composed by force alone.
He had no choice.
The applause finally faded slowly around the hall.
The Queen smiled then, elegant and unreadable.
“Until formal arrangements are completed after the wedding journey concludes,” she said smoothly, “you will of course continue serving as Prince William’s personal guard.”
Relief hit Est so sharply it nearly staggered him.
Temporary.
At least temporary.
But the ending still waited for them beyond it.
He could feel William understanding the exact same thing across the room at the exact same moment.
This wasn’t immediate.
But it was coming.
The hall erupted into congratulations again afterward.
Military commanders approached him one after another offering praise and handshakes. Western nobles bowed respectfully. Several officers looked openly impressed bordering on awed.
Someone toasted to his future command.
Someone else called him “General” already as a joke.
Est endured all of it numbly.
Because beneath the praise and honor and celebration, one terrible truth remained lodged beneath his ribs the entire evening:
Everything had just changed.
And suddenly the future felt terrifyingly close.
The celebration transformed into a feast afterward.
Tables appeared. Wine flowed. Music grew louder.
The hall became joyous.
People surrounded Est constantly.
Commanders toasted him. Nobles congratulated him. Servants smiled.
Young officers looked at him like he’d become some legendary figure overnight.
Someone called him “General.”
Another predicted which division he’d command.
Anen insisted repeatedly that he deserved even more.
The King toasted him personally.
The Queen praised his loyalty.
Everywhere he turned, people were celebrating him.
And gods –
He hated how lonely it felt.
Because through all the laughter and applause and congratulations, his eyes kept finding William.
Across the room.
Across crowded tables.
Across musicians and dancers and nobles.
Always William.
Smiling.
Laughing when expected.
Speaking politely.
Playing the prince perfectly.
And every single time their eyes met, the same truth passed silently between them.
Everyone else believed tonight was about what Est had gained.
Only the two of them understood what it might eventually cost.
________
That night, Est could not sleep.
Which was unfortunate, because the room clearly expected him to.
Prince Anen’s palace had moved him sometime during the afternoon while he attended the gathering in the Great Hall. No one had asked permission. He had simply returned afterward to discover that all his belongings – sparse as they were – had already been relocated from the guards’ quarters in the eastern wing to an entirely different set of chambers overlooking the sea.
Not chambers.
Apartments.
Rooms fit for a lord.
The suite was absurdly luxurious.
Dark polished wood lined the walls instead of plain stone. Silk curtains stirred softly in the sea breeze drifting through the open balcony doors. A carved fireplace crackled low across from an enormous bed draped in heavy embroidered blankets. Fresh flowers sat arranged beside silver trays of fruit and wine like he was suddenly someone important enough to require decorative fruit at all times.
Est hated it instantly.
Not because it wasn’t beautiful.
Because it didn’t feel like his life.
He sat at the edge of the bed for a long while after the medics finally departed for the evening, fingers absently turning the small medicine vial between his bandaged hands while his thoughts spiraled endlessly.
Commander.
Lordship.
Land.
Promotion.
Everything had changed within a single night.
And gods, he still couldn’t understand why.
He had done his job.
That was all.
Protecting the royal family was not extraordinary. It was literally the purpose he’d been trained for since adolescence. Every guard in the royal division would’ve done the same thing if they’d reached Prince Anen first.
So why did this feel less like a reward…
And more like being quietly moved somewhere else?
The thought unsettled him deeply.
Especially because he could still see William’s face in the Great Hall.
Perfectly composed.
Perfectly princely.
And devastated beneath it.
Est rubbed a tired hand across his face slowly.
The room suddenly felt too large around him.
Too quiet.
Too unfamiliar.
Outside the balcony, the sea crashed endlessly against the cliffs below while distant music drifted faintly upward from lower palace terraces where wedding festivities still carried on late into the night.
He missed William.
The realization arrived suddenly and with almost painful force.
Not abstractly.
Immediately.
Instinctively.
He wanted William here.
Wanted his warmth tangled through the sheets beside him. Wanted the comfort of hearing him talk softly about meaningless things until Est stopped overthinking everything. Wanted to pull him close and reassure him that nothing had truly changed between them.
But hadn’t it?
A sharp knock interrupted the thought.
Est looked up immediately.
For one brief heartbeat, instinct pushed him toward the sword usually resting beside his bed before he remembered he was injured, exhausted, and apparently now too important to sleep armed.
The knock came again.
Softer this time.
Est crossed the room carefully, shoulder aching beneath fresh bandages with every movement. He opened the door –
And immediately forgot how to breathe for a second.
William stood there.
He looked wrecked.
Not physically.
Emotionally.
The sea wind had thoroughly ruined whatever effort servants had made styling his hair earlier. Dark strands curled messily across his forehead while his formal coat hung partially unbuttoned like he’d thrown it on carelessly before coming here. He looked windswept. Disheveled.
Young.
And gods – His eyes.
Even in the dim candlelight spilling through the doorway, Est could see the shine there immediately.
Tears.
Not fallen yet.
But close.
William said nothing.
Neither did Est.
For several long moments they simply looked at each other in silence while distant waves crashed against the cliffs below.
Then Est stepped quietly aside.
William entered without a word.
The door shut softly behind him.
Silence filled the room again immediately.
William walked several steps inward before finally stopping near the fireplace, shoulders tense beneath the candlelight. He still wouldn’t fully look at Est.
And Est understood.
The congratulations.
The composure.
The careful smile in the Great Hall earlier.
All of it had been held together by force alone.
It showed everywhere once Est saw it.
In the rigid set of his shoulders.
In the way his hands kept flexing open and closed at his sides.
In the careful control of his breathing.
Like one wrong word might crack him apart entirely.
Est moved instinctively toward him.
But William stepped back immediately.
The movement hurt far more than it should have.
“William – “
“Congratulations,” William said softly.
Too softly.
His voice sounded wrong.
Like it was being held together manually.
Est’s chest tightened instantly.
William still wasn’t looking at him directly.
Instead his gaze drifted vaguely toward the balcony windows, toward the sea, toward literally anything except Est himself.
“I’m happy for you.”
The words came too quickly.
Too rehearsed.
And his voice cracked visibly around them anyway.
Est’s chest ached instantly.
William laughed softly under his breath after saying it, but the sound held absolutely no humor.
“I mean it,” he said quietly, still staring somewhere beyond the balcony instead of at Est himself. “Gods, Est, of course I mean it.”
His throat bobbed hard.
“You’re extraordinary. Everyone sees it now.”
Est stayed silent.
Because William sounded heartbroken.
Not angry.
Not jealous.
Heartbroken.
William dragged a shaking hand through his hair.
“You save a prince’s life once and suddenly entire kingdoms realize what I’ve known since the beginning.” His voice weakened further. “That you’re too good to belong standing quietly behind someone forever.”
The word belong lodged sharply inside Est’s ribs.
“William – “
“You deserve this.”
And gods.
The way he said it nearly destroyed Est entirely.
Like he was trying to convince himself.
Like he was forcing the words through grief.
Est stepped toward him again slowly.
This time William didn’t move away.
But he still wouldn’t look directly at him.
“I’m trying very hard not to ruin this for you,” William admitted softly.
The vulnerability in that sentence cracked something wide open inside Est.
William laughed weakly afterward, clearly embarrassed by the tremor in his own voice.
“Which is difficult because apparently I’ve become completely pathetic.”
“You’re not pathetic.”
“I am.” William finally looked at him then.
And gods.
The tears sitting in his eyes.
The desperate effort it clearly took not to let them fall.
Est physically felt his own heart tighten painfully in response.
William looked devastated.
“I know how selfish this sounds,” he whispered roughly. “I know tonight was supposed to be about celebrating you and instead all I can think about is – “
His voice broke entirely.
He looked away sharply.
Est waited quietly.
William swallowed hard enough Est saw the movement from across the room.
“All I can think about,” he said finally, barely above a whisper now, “is that they’re taking you away from me.”
The honesty of it hollowed the air from the room.
Est stared at him.
Because there it was.
The real wound beneath everything else.
Not status. Not protocol. Loss.
Pure aching terror of losing the shape of his life around Est.
William laughed weakly again, furious with himself now for unraveling this visibly.
“You nearly died five days ago and somehow this is still what destroys me.”
“William.”
“No, listen to me.” His breathing had started turning uneven now. “I don’t know how to do this without you anymore.”
The confession landed softly.
Devastatingly.
William rubbed harshly at one eye before a tear could escape, visibly ashamed of himself for it.
“You’ve been here just a year or so,” he whispered. “Every morning. Every journey. Every horrible political dinner where you glare at diplomats from behind my chair like you personally want to kill them. Yet… I can’t imagine my life without you.”
A broken laugh escaped him.
Est’s throat tightened painfully.
“I look for you automatically now,” William admitted. “In every room. Every crowd.” His voice cracked sharply. “I sleep better when you’re nearby.”
Another tear slipped free despite his effort to stop it.
William looked genuinely angry with himself afterward.
And gods.
No.
Est crossed the room immediately then.
This time when he reached for William, the prince let him.
Est cupped his face carefully between both hands, thumbs brushing gently beneath damp lashes while William shut his eyes hard at the touch like relief itself physically hurt.
“You are not ruining anything,” Est whispered softly.
William’s breath shook unevenly.
“You don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to me.”
That nearly undid him entirely.
William leaned instinctively into Est’s touch before catching himself halfway through the movement like he was embarrassed by his own need.
The sight nearly broke Est’s heart.
“I’m scared,” William admitted finally.
The words came out so quietly Est almost didn’t hear them.
“I’m scared things are going to change now.”
Est’s chest tightened violently.
William laughed weakly through another tear. “Gods, I sound ridiculous.”
“No.”
“I do.”
“You sound like someone who loves me.”
That silenced him instantly.
William stared at him.
And suddenly the tears he’d been fighting so viciously finally started falling properly.
Not dramatic sobbing.
Somehow worse.
Silent tears slipping down his face while he tried desperately to stay composed through them.
William wasn’t looking at him anymore.
His gaze had drifted somewhere over Est’s shoulder toward the dark windows and the sea beyond them, though Est doubted he actually saw any of it.
The prince looked exhausted.
Not physically.
Emotionally.
As though he’d spent the entire evening holding something heavy above his head and had finally reached the point where his arms could no longer bear the weight.
“I’m scared things are going to change now.”
His laugh came a second later.
Small. Broken. Embarrassed.
“God.”
William scrubbed roughly at his eyes.
“I sound ridiculous.”
“No.”
“I do.”
His voice cracked.
“I sound like a spoiled child throwing a fit because someone else got something good.”
Est’s chest tightened painfully.
Because that wasn’t what this was.
Not even remotely.
William wasn’t jealous of the promotion.
If anything, the prince was prouder of him than anyone else in the kingdom.
That was the tragedy.
William laughed again.
The sound was miserable.
“You know what the worst part is?”
Est stayed quiet.
William swallowed.
Then finally looked at him.
And gods.
The grief in his eyes.
Raw.
Unhidden.
Terrifyingly vulnerable.
“The worst part is that I know how selfish this is.”
He shook his head.
“I know I should be celebrating you.”
“You are.”
“No.”
The word came sharper.
Immediate.
William drew a shaking breath.
“I’m trying to.”
His eyes dropped.
“I spent the entire evening trying.”
Est frowned slightly.
William laughed weakly.
“You know what finally pushed me over the edge?”
He didn’t wait for an answer.
“In the Great Hall.”
His mouth twisted.
“After the announcement.”
Est felt his stomach tighten immediately.
William’s voice softened.
“Dylan was standing beside you.”
Understanding flashed through Est instantly.
Gods.
Of course.
William looked almost ashamed.
“He was making you laugh.”
A humorless smile crossed his face.
“Making jokes. Distracting you. Pulling your attention away from everyone staring at you.”
His gaze dropped to the floor.
“And I couldn’t.”
The admission landed softly.
Devastatingly.
Est felt something twist inside his chest.
Because suddenly he remembered.
Dylan hovering beside him after the announcement.
Talking endlessly.
Making ridiculous comments.
Trying to ease the attention.
Trying to make Est less uncomfortable.
He hadn’t thought anything of it at the time.
But William had.
Gods.
William had watched all of it.
“I wanted to come stand beside you.”
The prince’s voice had become almost painfully quiet.
“I wanted to tell you I was proud of you.”
A tear finally slipped down his cheek.
He didn’t wipe it away.
“I wanted to make sure you were all right because you looked overwhelmed.”
Another laugh.
Broken.
“Instead, I had to stand across the room pretending to enjoy conversations about trade agreements.”
Est’s heart physically hurt.
William shook his head.
“And Dylan could just walk up to you.”
The words cracked.
“He could touch your shoulder.”
His voice grew rough.
“He could make you laugh.”
“He could stand next to you.”
The room fell silent.
William’s eyes closed briefly.
“And I couldn’t even acknowledge why I wanted to.”
Gods.
Est had never heard him sound so defeated.
The prince drew a shaky breath.
“When you become a commander…”
His voice failed.
He tried again.
“When you’re not with me anymore…”
Est went still.
William’s gaze remained fixed somewhere near the floor.
And suddenly the words began pouring out faster.
Like they’d been trapped too long.
“What if you find someone else?”
Est blinked.
“What?”
William laughed bitterly.
“What if you do?”
“William – “
“No.”
His voice cracked.
“You’ll have every reason to.”
Est stared at him.
The prince looked absolutely miserable now.
Like the confession itself hurt.
“You’ll have your own command.”
His throat worked.
“Your own life.”
His eyes glistened.
“Your own officers.”
His voice weakened further.
“People who can stand beside you openly.”
Gods.
“People who don’t need to hide.”
Est’s chest tightened so sharply it almost hurt to breathe.
William looked away immediately.
Ashamed.
“I know how that sounds.”
“It sounds like you’re hurting.”
“It sounds pathetic.”
“It doesn’t.”
William’s laugh was almost desperate.
“Est.”
His eyes finally lifted.
And there was so much fear in them.
Raw.
Terrible fear.
“What reason would you have to keep choosing this?”
The question shattered something inside Est.
Because William genuinely didn’t know.
The prince swallowed hard.
“I can’t even acknowledge you publicly.”
His voice dropped.
“I can’t celebrate with you.”
A tear slid free.
“I can’t touch you.”
Another.
“I can’t tell people you’re mine.”
His breathing became uneven.
“And now…”
His eyes closed.
“And now I won’t even get to see you every day.”
Silence.
Heavy.
Painful.
William looked exhausted afterward.
Like speaking the thoughts aloud had drained the last of his strength.
Then something shifted in his expression.
Recognition. Slow. Awful.
His mouth trembled faintly.
And suddenly he laughed.
A tiny broken sound.
“Oh.”
Est frowned.
William shook his head once.
Looking almost horrified.
“I get it now.”
The words barely emerged.
“I finally get it.”
A fresh tear slid down his face.
“When you used to get jealous.”
Gods.
Est’s breath caught.
William’s eyes met his.
Full of regret.
Full of understanding.
“I thought you were overreacting.”
His voice broke.
“I thought you doubted me.”
Another tear.
“I thought you couldn’t see how much I loved you.”
His lips trembled.
“And all that time…”
A helpless laugh escaped him.
“…all that time you were carrying this.”
The realization visibly devastated him.
“This feeling.”
His voice cracked completely.
“This awful…”
William pressed a hand against his eyes.
Like the emotion physically hurt.
“The waiting.”
He swallowed hard.
“The uncertainty.”
Another breath.
“The knowledge that somebody else could have things with you that I never can.”
His shoulders shook once.
“I understand now.”
Gods.
The apology that followed nearly broke Est apart.
“I’m sorry.”
William’s voice was raw.
“I am so sorry.”
Est’s heart clenched painfully.
Because William meant every word.
Not to soothe him.
Not because he thought he should.
Because now he finally understood.
Understood every jealous glance.
Every insecurity.
Every moment Est had doubted.
Every fear he’d carried alone.
And somehow that realisation hurt William almost as much as the future did.
“William.”
The prince shook his head.
“I should’ve understood sooner.”
His voice failed.
“You loved me all that time.”
Another tear.
“And I didn’t realize how frightening it was.”
Gods.
That did it.
Est crossed the distance between them immediately.
William barely had time to look up before strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him firmly against a broad chest.
The prince broke.
Not dramatically.
Not loudly.
Just –
Collapsed.
Like a man who had been standing too long finally allowed himself to stop.
His hands fisted desperately in Est’s shirt.
His forehead pressed against Est’s shoulder.
And for the first time all evening he stopped trying to hold himself together.
Est held him tighter.
Ignoring the pull in his healing wounds.
Ignoring everything.
One hand slid into William’s hair.
The other settled firmly against the middle of his back.
Grounding him.
Keeping him there.
Keeping him safe.
“Hey.”
William shut his eyes.
A shaky breath escaped him.
And suddenly Est had gone back, remembered the man he himself used to be.
The version of him who doubted William constantly. Who feared loving more deeply than he was loved in return. Who spent months convinced reality would eventually steal William away because princes did not choose men like him forever.
How absurd those fears felt now.
Because this prince –
This beautiful devastated man standing in front of him trying not to cry over the thought of merely sleeping in separate wings someday –
Loved him with terrifying completeness.
The realization hit Est so hard he almost laughed.
Instead his expression softened with something unbearably tender.
“Oh, William.”
The prince visibly crumbled at the tone alone.
“Hey.”
Est pressed a kiss into his hair.
Then another.
Slow.
Tender.
Patient.
“I love you.”
William made a broken sound.
The kind people make when they’re trying not to cry harder.
Est’s chest ached.
Gods.
He loved this man.
So much.
More than rank.
More than titles.
More than anything.
“This changes my position.”
Another kiss against his temple.
“Not my heart.”
His forehead.
“Not my life.”
His cheek.
“Not us.”
William trembled slightly.
“But you’ll leave.”
“I’ll come back.”
“They’ll send you away.”
“Then you’ll summon me.”
A weak laugh escaped William through lingering tears.
Est smiled softly.
“There he is.”
The prince buried his face against Est’s neck.
And for the first time since entering the room, he stopped fighting so hard not to break.
“I love you so much,” William whispered roughly against his shoulder. “I don’t know what to do with it anymore.”
Emotion surged painfully through Est’s chest.
He wrapped both arms around William despite the protest of healing wounds and held him tighter.
“You don’t have to do anything with it,” he whispered softly into his hair. “Just let me love you back.”
William made a broken sound at that.
Est closed his eyes briefly.
Because now he finally understood the full terrifying depth of William’s attachment to him.
Not princely.
Not polished.
Human.
Messy.
Devoted.
The kind of love that rewrites the shape of someone’s entire life quietly without either person noticing until separation suddenly threatens it.
“Listen to me carefully,” Est murmured softly. “No position in any kingdom could make me stop choosing you.”
William’s eyes closed immediately.
Another tear slipped free.
Est brushed it away carefully with his thumb.
“And for the record,” he added quietly, almost smiling now through his own emotion, “watching you panic because you might not see me every morning anymore is doing wonders for my old insecurities.”
William looked stricken instantly. “Est – “
“No.” Est shook his head softly. “You have no idea what hearing this does to me.”
William stared at him helplessly.
And slowly, finally, he stopped fighting so hard not to break.
Est held him closer after that.
Not loosely.
Not carefully.
Like he was trying to shield William from something cruel and invisible pressing in around them both.
The prince came closer into his arms with heartbreaking ease now, all the fight gone from him at last. His forehead rested against Est’s shoulder while Est’s fingers slid slowly through his hair, untangling the sea-wind knots gently, soothingly, over and over again.
William trembled once beneath his hands.
Just once.
Small enough that another person might’ve missed it entirely.
Est felt it like a blade.
Gods.
William was grieving.
Not loudly.
Not dramatically.
Quietly.
Like someone already mourning a life he hadn’t technically lost yet.
Est kissed his temple softly.
Then the corner of his brow.
Then the damp skin beneath one eye where tears still lingered stubbornly despite William’s obvious efforts to keep swallowing them back down.
William accepted every touch in silence.
That somehow hurt most of all.
Because usually William met affection eagerly – kissed him back immediately, smiled against his mouth, melted warm and playful beneath tenderness.
Tonight he only leaned into it with exhausted surrender.
Like he needed comfort too badly to even pretend otherwise.
Est tightened his arms around him instinctively.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered softly against his hair.
William let out the faintest uneven breath.
The room glowed quietly around them beneath candlelight and firelight. Outside, the sea crashed endlessly against the cliffs below while distant wedding music drifted faintly upward from lower terraces.
Somewhere in the palace, people were celebrating futures.
And here they stood grieving one they could never openly claim.
___________
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Get the tissues ready, because things just took a devastating turn.
They are about to be separated, and there is absolutely nothing either of them can do to stop it. Is this really it for them? Is this the actual end of their story, or is there still a tiny shred of hope left? What else could possibly happen now?!
The next few chapters are going to be a wild ride, so be on the lookout for the update to find out!
Enjoy the chapter, and don’t forget to COMMENT your theories and VOTE!
