Chapter 37

William stayed until Est’s breathing steadied into the rhythm of true rest. He never let go of his hand, even as exhaustion gnawed at his bones.

When Est stirred again, blinking heavy-lidded eyes open, William was already leaning over him. Relief spread like fire through his chest. “Easy,” he murmured, adjusting the pillows so Est could shift without strain.

Before William could say more, a knock came, soft but insistent. The door opened to reveal Hong.

“Brother,” Hong said, stepping in with quiet urgency. His eyes darted to Est, widening as he took in the sight of him awake, propped against the pillows. “So it’s true…”

William glanced at Est, then back at Hong, his voice softened but sure. “Est, Hong… he’s been at my side through all of it.”

“And there’s someone else you should meet properly,” William said gently, glancing toward where Nut lingered near the wall. “This is Nut. He’s the one who tended you – healed you when I thought I’d already lost you. Everything you feel now, every breath – it’s because of him.”

Est’s gaze shifted, his lips parting faintly. For a moment, words failed him, but then he managed, hoarse but steady, “Thank you. Truly.”

Nut inclined his head, his tone quiet but firm. “You’re strong. You fought. I only gave you the chance.”

William’s hand squeezed Est’s lightly.

Est’s gaze moved between William and Hong and then towards Nut, a faint crease of surprise marking his brow. He had never known William and Hong to share such closeness. His lips curved faintly despite his weakness. “Then… thank you. Both of you. I owe you more than I can say.”

Hong shook his head, crossing to the bedside. His usual reserve was tempered by a warmth William rarely saw in him. “I’m glad you’re better. My brother – ” his eyes flicked briefly to William, ” – he was losing his mind without you. I only hope you understand how much he’s fought for you. How much you mean to him.”

Est’s throat worked as if to answer, but emotion shone too plainly in his eyes. William squeezed his hand, saving him from needing words.

A knock came again – this time firmer, an attendant’s voice at the door. “Your Highness, the council awaits.”

William cursed softly under his breath. He lingered at Est’s side a moment longer, lowering his voice. “I have to go, but I’ll be back before night falls. Rest, love. Call on anything you need.”

Est’s lips curved faintly, his gaze lingering. “Just come back.”

“I will.” William brushed his knuckles across Est’s jaw before rising.

As he stepped into the corridor, he caught sight of familiar faces hovering uncertainly – Sir Jeff and Dylan, shifting their weight like boys caught sneaking into forbidden halls. The sight tugged a smile from him despite everything.

“You’ve heard, then,” William said. “He’s awake.”

Jeff’s shoulders slumped with relief, Dylan letting out a shaky laugh. “We had to see him.”

William nodded, his tone gentling. “Go. But don’t tire him – he’s weak still. No war stories, no rough jokes.” His lips twitched. “Just… be good to him.”

“Always,” Dylan promised. They bowed quickly before slipping inside, murmuring greetings as the door closed behind them.

______

The council was long and tiresome, every word a stone in William’s gut. He answered little, his thoughts never leaving the chamber he’d left behind. When it was finally dismissed, he was halfway to the door when a voice stopped him.

“William.”

His mother, the Queen, stood poised in the hall, every inch the sovereign. Her eyes, sharp but softened at the edges, searched his face. “I heard your knight has awoken.”

“Yes,” William said, his voice quieter than he meant.

She inclined her head, the faintest of smiles playing at her lips. “I’m glad. He is brave – and loyal. He has earned his place. Take care of him. But please remember. . . be discrete. . . And if there is anything you need, you tell me.”

For once, William couldn’t summon a reply. He only bowed his head slightly, a flicker of gratitude in his gaze before he continued on his way back to Est.

____

By the time William returned, the sun had already dipped, streaking the windows with a deep amber glow. He entered quietly, though his heart was anything but – it beat with an urgency that quickened the moment he saw Est sitting upright. The colour had returned to Est’s face, soft but pale still, and though his posture carried strength, there was a lingering fragility William could not ignore.

He dismissed the attendants with a flick of his hand, his gaze never leaving Est.
“How are you?” he asked, voice low, almost reverent.

Est’s lips curved faintly. “Better. Every waking moment I feel stronger.” His eyes softened as they caught William’s. “And now, better still – because you’ve come back.”

A smile, full and unguarded, broke across William’s face. Relief poured into him. “Then I’m glad,” he said, reaching the edge of the bed.

But Est grew quiet then, the smile fading, his eyes dropping to his hands. Something heavy lingered in his expression, a shadow pulling at the corners of his mouth.

William’s chest tightened. “What is it? Did something happen?”

Est hesitated, lifting his gaze only to falter again, lips parting but no words emerging. William leaned closer, catching his hand, curling warm fingers around it. “Tell me, darling,” he urged softly.

Finally, Est drew a steadying breath. His voice was strained, almost fragile. “I… heard things. From Dylan and Jeff. About what happened. But I need to know the truth from you, William. From you alone.”

For a moment, William’s shoulders sank. There was disappointment in his eyes – not with Est, never with Est – but with the knowledge that his friends had burdened him with the weight he’d tried to shield him from. “I had hoped,” William murmured, “that they would let you rest, not trouble you with this.” His thumb stroked over Est’s knuckles, tender and aching. “But… if you must know, then you will. I’ll tell you.”

Just then, a soft knock came at the door. An attendant slipped in, balancing a tray of food, the scent of broth and fresh bread cutting through the air.

William straightened, masking his impatience with practiced calm. “Set it here,” he said, nodding to the side table. But when the attendant made to step closer, William rose and took the tray himself, dismissing them with a firm wave.

He set it down, then returned to Est with a gentleness that was wholly unlike the prince the court knew. “But first, dinner,” he said, voice warm, insistent but affectionate. “Only after that will I tell you the whole of it.” When he lifted the spoon, there was a softness in his expression that made Est’s breath catch.

“Come,” William murmured, settling beside him. “You need strength.”

Est looked at the spoon, then at William’s intent gaze. “You… want to feed me yourself?” His voice was low, uncertain.

William’s lips curved into a faint smile – not teasing, not commanding, but almost shy. “If you’ll let me.”

The moment stretched. Est’s throat worked as he swallowed, then gave the smallest nod.

William lifted the spoon again, his hand steady, his eyes tracing every flicker of Est’s face as he guided it toward his lips. Est leaned forward, accepting the bite, his lashes lowering as if to shield the sudden heat that rose in his chest. The broth was warm, but not as warm as William’s gaze.

“Good,” William whispered, almost to himself, as Est swallowed.

The silence between them grew heavy, charged – not awkward, but tender, as if every movement spoke a thousand things they hadn’t yet dared to say. William’s fingers brushed Est’s as he adjusted the tray, lingering a heartbeat too long. Est’s lips curved faintly, though his eyes darted away, shy, unsteady.

Another spoonful. This time William waited, watching him, and Est felt the weight of it – the way William’s breath slowed as he leaned close, the faint smile that softened his mouth when Est took the food from his hand.

Between bites, neither spoke, and yet the silence was anything but empty. William’s eyes never wavered from him, and Est, though he tried to keep his gaze lowered, found himself drawn back again and again to the prince’s face. Each time their eyes met, heat flared, sharp and unspoken, and both looked away too quickly.

At one point, William reached with a napkin, brushing the corner of Est’s mouth. His fingers grazed skin, featherlight, and Est stilled, caught in the moment. William hesitated too, hand lingering a breath longer than necessary before he pulled away, his throat working as if he’d said more than he meant to.

“You’ll get stronger,” William said softly, but the words carried a weight beyond their meaning.

Est’s reply was quiet, but no less full. “I already feel stronger.” His gaze flicked up, caught William’s for a heartbeat, and then dropped again, as if the truth behind the words had burned too close.

By the time the bowl was nearly empty, the air between them had shifted. What began as care had become something else entirely – a slow, tender unraveling of walls, woven through shy glances and touches too brief, too meaningful.

When William set the spoon aside, his hand brushed Est’s again, and neither moved it away.

When the tray was finally cleared away, William set it aside and leaned back, studying Est with quiet intensity. Est, however, didn’t look at him immediately. His gaze lingered on his own hands, fidgeting with the blanket, thoughtful, troubled.

At last, he lifted his eyes. “Now tell me,” he said softly, but there was steel under it. “I need to hear it from you.”

William’s chest tightened. He had hoped the food, the care, the warmth of their silence might delay this moment, but Est’s eyes – steady, waiting – left him no room to retreat.

Est’s fingers tightened faintly around William’s, his voice low but insistent. “Tell me how you found me.”

William hesitated, his throat constricting. He wanted to shield him, to bury the memories where Est would never have to touch them. But the plea in his eyes left no room for evasion.

For a long moment, William said nothing. He searched Est’s face, torn between shielding him and honoring his demand. Then, finally, he nodded.

“All right,” he whispered.

William hesitated, his throat constricting. He wanted to shield him, to bury the memories where Est would never have to touch them. But the plea in his eyes left no room for evasion.

So he told him. Of the search. Of how he’d torn through the palace to find him, and how Nut and Hong had been there to help bring him back. His words skimmed lightly over the cruelty of James and Kenta – a blur of shadows, only enough to sketch the outline, never the depth. He gave Est the gentlest version he could bear.

When he finished, silence stretched between them. Est’s dark gaze lingered, steady and searching. “I know you’re sparing me,” he said at last, voice quiet.

William said nothing, jaw tightening, eyes dropping to the floor.

Est let the pause sit before speaking again. “They said you kept me in your own chambers. That it caused whispers – rumours, turmoil with your reputation.”

William’s chest ached. He couldn’t bring himself to meet Est’s eyes. “If I could…” His voice caught, rough, unsteady. “If I could, I would’ve kept you in my bedchambers forever. But things were already… precarious. I didn’t want to make it worse. Not for you. Not when all I wanted was to protect you.”

At that, Est’s hand closed firmly over his. “Don’t feel guilty,” he murmured. “I’d never have expected to be kept there, in the heart of the palace. That you did… it means more than you know.”

William swallowed hard, the truth of Est’s words both softening and undoing him.

After a moment, Est’s voice sharpened, quiet but edged with steel. “What happened to Kenta?”

William’s eyes flicked back to his, steady now. “He’s gone for good. You don’t need to worry about him.”

Est fell silent, but the tension in his jaw betrayed him. At last, he whispered, each word laced with cold certainty: “If he were here, I’d kill him with my bare hands.”

William’s lips curved despite the heaviness of the moment. The fierceness in Est’s voice, that unflinching truth, stirred something fierce and protective in him too. He believed it – Est meant every word.

But then Est’s gaze darkened further, searching William’s face. His voice was quieter now, but no less intense. “Did he ever… touch you again? While I was locked up?”

The question cut through William like a blade. His throat tightened, his chest constricting. He looked away, the memory burning, shame and anger coiling together. He had allowed it – had forced himself to endure it – only to get close enough to protect Est. Every second of Kenta’s hand on him had sickened him, filled him with revulsion. But it had been the only way.

And yet, how could he say that? How could he explain it without staining this fragile, luminous moment between them?

He forced his eyes back to Est’s, though the weight of them nearly broke him. “No,” he said, the word soft but steady. “He didn’t.”

Est’s jaw eased, though suspicion still lingered in his gaze. He gave a short nod, his hand tightening protectively over William’s, as though to anchor him.

William let the lie hang between them, heavy and aching, swallowing the truth he didn’t dare speak – for Est’s sake.

Est’s gaze softened again, shifting. “And the Queen?” he asked, hesitant. “Was she… very angry?”

William let out a low breath, brushing his thumb over Est’s knuckles. “She was. But it doesn’t matter. To me, only you mattered. Only your recovery.”

William’s words lingered in the air – to me, only you mattered.

Est’s breath caught, his gaze fixed on William’s face. The silence stretched, but it wasn’t empty. It was full – of all the things unsaid, of the weight of weeks, of fear and longing.

“William,” Est whispered, the name trembling in his mouth. “You don’t know what it means, hearing you say that.”

William’s throat worked. His grip on Est’s hand tightened. “I nearly lost you,” he said, his voice raw, the mask of the prince gone, leaving only the man. “And in those nights, sitting here, I kept thinking – I would trade everything. If it meant you opened your eyes again. I would have burned the world for you. Because I…” He broke off, his voice failing, his jaw trembling with the effort of holding back.

Est’s hand rose, almost of its own will, brushing against William’s cheek, coaxing his gaze up again. His thumb caught a stray tear before it fell. “Come closer,” he murmured, low and steady, though his heart was hammering.

William leaned in, hesitant at first, like a man afraid he might wake from a dream. Their foreheads brushed, and Est could feel William’s breath, uneven, shallow, mingling with his own.

And then Est kissed him.

It wasn’t gentle. It was hungry, desperate, a kiss torn straight from the hollow place where fear had lived for too long. His fingers curled into the back of William’s neck, pulling him closer, deeper, as though to tether him to this reality.

William made a sound – half sob, half gasp – and gave in completely. His hands cradled Est’s face with aching reverence, yet his mouth moved against Est’s with a fierceness that bordered on worship. His lips trembled, tasted of salt from unshed tears, pressed with the need of a man who had almost lost everything.

The kiss deepened, slow and unhurried but burning, every brush of lips and slide of breath drawn out, as though they had both forgotten how to stop. William tilted Est’s face, kissing him again and again, lingering, as if memorizing every angle, every softness, every proof that he was alive.

When they broke apart at last, their lips hovered still close, breaths ragged, foreheads pressed together. William’s tears had slipped free, glistening on his lashes. He didn’t wipe them away.

“You’re mine,” he whispered, voice shaking with the weight of truth. “I don’t care what they say, what they plot. You’re mine, Est. And I am yours. Always.”

William’s lips still trembled against Est’s when Est lifted both hands, weak but unyielding, to cradle his face. His palms shook, yet they framed William as though he were the only thing keeping Est tethered to this world. His dark eyes glimmered, raw and unbearably earnest.

“My prince…” His voice was hoarse, strained, but steady with conviction. “My love.” The second word seemed to rip from him, weighted with all the years he had buried it, all the nights he had bitten it back.

William froze, eyes widening, lips parting soundlessly.

He swallowed hard, his thumbs brushing along William’s damp cheeks, collecting his tears. “It’s taken me all this time… too long. Far too long… I thought I could endure silently, that it would be enough to protect you, to stand behind you, to fight for you without ever asking for more. But I can’t.” His breath hitched, his gaze never wavering. “I can’t keep it in anymore. I love you. Gods help me, I love you more than my own life. Fully. Desperately. You’re carved into me, William. I don’t know how to breathe without you anymore.”

William’s eyes shone, wide and stricken, his lips parting in a gasp that never found voice.

But Est pressed on, voice breaking, almost pleading. “I’d stay by your side forever, in whatever way you’ll let me. As knight, as shadow, as no one at all if it means you live and thrive. I don’t need titles. I don’t need the court’s blessing. I only need you. And I’m finally admitting it, no matter where that puts me…” His voice dropped lower, trembling. “If you’ll have me, William – have all of me – I am yours. In this life, in the next, I am yours.”

The silence that followed was unbearable – thick, hot, every heartbeat hammering between them like a vow. Est’s hands trembled as though he feared he’d said too much, feared he’d broken something that could never be undone.

William’s chest heaved, eyes glimmering with relief, wonder, and a devastation too tender to hide. His hands rose, covering Est’s, pressing them tighter to his face as though to anchor himself in that moment.

“Est…” His voice cracked on the name. His throat bobbed, lips trembling. He leaned forward until their breaths mingled, unable to stop touching him, unable to pull away. His voice was a whisper and a vow, roughened by tears.

For a long moment, William couldn’t breathe. He sat stunned, staring into Est’s eyes, unable to reconcile the words with reality. His heart pounded so fiercely it hurt, each beat demanding he believe what he had just heard. But it felt impossible.

“Est…” His voice broke, barely a sound. He shook his head slowly, as though afraid to shatter the fragile moment. “You… you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do,” Est said firmly, his hands holding William’s face as though to anchor him. His thumbs brushed the dampness on his cheeks, gentler than a whisper. His eyes glistened, steady and burning, like fire held behind glass. “William, my love. I have never been more certain of anything in my life. I love you. I’ve loved you longer than I let myself admit, longer than I dared to hope I could. I thought it was impossible, thought I was a fool. But it’s the truth. You are everything. My heart, my life, my purpose. If you’ll have me, I’ll stay by your side forever. However you’ll let me. So long as it means I’m yours.”

William’s chest ached as though the words themselves pierced him. His lips parted but no sound came; all that rose was a quiet, ragged breath. His vision blurred until Est was nothing but light and shape, haloed by tears. He swallowed, tried to laugh, but it came out as a broken sob.

“I… Est,” he whispered, trembling. “Don’t – don’t – Unless you mean it… Because I… I can’t – ” He broke off, eyes falling, the weight of months of hidden longing pressing down all at once. “I’ve wanted nothing else. Nothing but you. Every day, every night, all I’ve wanted was you. To be mine. To return even a fraction of what I feel. I dared to hope, but I never believed…” His voice cracked. The last words came out so quietly they were almost inaudible. “… never thought you would.”

A single tear slipped free, rolling slowly down his cheek, catching the faint light like a jewel.

Est’s hands caught it, his thumb brushing it away tenderly, reverently. His own lips trembled, and now tears shimmered openly in his eyes. “I’ve loved you from very early on,” he confessed, his voice hushed but steady, as though speaking to the deepest part of William’s soul. “Long before I admitted it to myself. Long before I even had the courage to name it. It’s always been you. Always.”

Their eyes locked, both glistening with tears, both trembling under the weight of truths they had kept buried too long. The silence stretched, but it was no longer empty – it was full, overflowing, vibrating with everything they had finally spoken aloud.

Then, as if drawn by gravity, they leaned in together.

Their lips met in a kiss that was trembling, tear-salted, unbearably tender. William gasped softly into Est’s mouth, the sound breaking against Est’s lips like glass shattering. Est deepened the kiss, desperate yet careful, pouring every word he couldn’t say into the press of his mouth, into the gentle insistence of his hands still cradling William’s face.

William clung to him, fingers fisting in his shirt, as though the world might rip Est away if he didn’t hold on tight enough. Tears slipped free between kisses, wetting their cheeks, their mouths, but neither cared. They kissed through them, salt and breath and warmth mingling, each tear another vow.

But then Est pulled back just slightly, his breath shaky, his eyes shimmering with fear and longing all at once. His thumb brushed William’s damp cheek as he whispered, almost afraid of the answer: “Say it… please – say you feel it too. That I’m not the only one. Say you love me.”

The plea pierced right through William. He froze for a heartbeat, overwhelmed, then let out a broken laugh that dissolved into a sob. His forehead pressed hard against Est’s as he clutched his face in both hands, voice raw, cracking. “Of course I do. Est – I’ve loved you so long it hurts. I don’t know when it started . I won’t lie about our start… but since the day your refused to sign the contract and I still went after you – I’ve wanted this – wanted you – with every part of me. I fell in love without realizing… I didn’t let myself hope, but gods, I’ve never wanted anything more.”

His tears fell freely now, streaking down his cheeks and onto Est’s fingers. “So don’t ever doubt it. Don’t ever doubt me. I love you. I love you.”

Relief and wonder broke across Est’s face like sunlight through a storm. He let out a shuddering exhale and pulled William back into a kiss, fierce and unsteady, as though he was trying to pour every second of missed time into it.

“I love you,” William whispered again, against Est’s lips, the words half-broken, half-sobbed.

“I love you,” Est murmured back, over and over, kissing him deeply, as though to brand it into his soul.

Their mouths moved together, slow and then desperate, pausing only to breathe each other in, to rest foreheads together, to murmur the words again and again until they blurred into the rhythm of their kissing. Each repetition was like a prayer, a surrender, an oath: I love you. I love you. I love you.

For the first time, neither of them had to wonder if it was returned. For the first time, the truth was undeniable, spoken, sealed in tears and kisses.

The kiss went on and on, a tangled mix of salt and breath, too much and never enough. William clung to Est like a drowning man finding shore at last. Every brush of Est’s lips against his own was a miracle, a wound and a balm at once.

They broke apart only by necessity, gasping softly, foreheads pressed together, their tears mixing on their cheeks. William let out a trembling laugh that was almost a sob. “Est… I feel like I’m dreaming.”

Est’s thumb stroked his cheekbone, tender as a vow. “Then let’s never wake up,” he whispered, before kissing him again – slower this time, deeper, reverent.

William’s hands slid to Est’s jaw, holding him just as tightly as Est held him, as though they were both terrified of losing the other. They kissed again and again – small, desperate presses, then lingering ones that stretched into eternity. Between kisses came murmurs, half-breathed confessions tumbling out with no hesitation now.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this…”

“I’ve wanted you from the start.”

Each phrase was cut short by another kiss, their lips trembling, smiling through tears. It was messy, tender, and euphoric, the kind of sweetness that hurt because it was finally real.

At one point William buried his face in the crook of Est’s neck, breathing him in, holding him so tightly his shoulders shook. A soft, broken sound escaped him – half laugh, half sob – as he tried to speak.

“I…” His throat worked, words catching, then breaking free at last. “I never allowed myself to hope for this. Gods, Est – ” His hand cupped Est’s cheek, thumb tracing the damp line of his tears. “I wanted it with every fibre of my being, every day, every night. But I never ever dared to believe… that you might feel the same.”

Est’s eyes shone, tears clinging to his lashes. He held William’s face between both his palms, steady, certain even in his softness. “You fool,” he whispered, voice raw with emotion. “I’ve loved you from the start. And I’ll love you until my last breath. My prince. My love. My everything.”

A sharp gasp broke out of William at the words. His lips parted soundlessly, disbelief and joy warring across his face, until a single tear slipped free and traced down his cheek. He kissed Est again – fiercely, desperately – like proof, like prayer.

They broke only to rest their foreheads together, smiling shakily, kissing again and again as if relearning what it meant to breathe. William’s hands trembled where they cupped Est’s jaw; Est’s thumbs smoothed the dampness from his cheeks with infinite care.

It was euphoric and aching all at once – two hearts laid bare, kissing through their tears, whispering I love you into each other’s mouths until the words dissolved into breath, into touch, into the undeniable truth of being wholly, finally, returned.

_____

Est is conscious and recovering.

AND 

Aaaaahhhhhdlkdsklj ughhh…

I’m screaming, shouting, crying and blushing all at once. My babiesss!! Finally confessed to each other!! 

There’s so much coming up soon! So stay tuned.

Don’t forget to leave me your comments and thoughts. 

And as always, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Cheers all!!