Chapter 1

Nerds will be nerds. That’s my conclusion and I’m a nerd. I’m totally lacking in muscle, I’m short, and I wear thick glasses. But I can talk to people just fine. My friend Trev is the opposite. You’d have no idea he was awkward from looking at him. Enviously tall, fit build, perfect eyesight. But as soon as he opens his mouth you just know something’s not typical.

Trev and I were hanging out at his house Saturday night playing a role play game. After one particularly contentious play he looked at me and in his squeaky voice said, “Don’t be a little cunt.”

I quipped, “You mean, a cuntlette?”

This took him off guard, then he changed directions. “Say, Ken, would you eat a cunt?” My name’s actually Akeno, but Ken works.

“Fuckin right I would. Anytime anywhere. Just haven’t had the opportunity yet.”

Trev shared his unwanted opinion, “Well I don’t think it’s gonna happen soon for either of us. But when I have my own computer company and I’m rich the cunts will be throwing themselves at me.” I believed him. He’s been working on this prototype for a battery that can also store a huge amount of memory too. It’s going to revolutionize computers to have the battery BE the memory.

“I’m sure you’ll be a regular attraccionaire.”

Trev shared my odd love of words, “Yea, I’m gonna be a ‘Cunne Magnes’.

“Well, I don’t know if I’ll be as rich as you, or a cunt magnet. But maybe if I’m a good enough cunnilinguist the girls will keep me around.

“If you’re the cunnilinguist does that make the girl the cunnilinguee?”

“I guess it does. How about you, would you lick a cunt? How about Jenni’s?” I totally had the hots for Jenni.

“Ew, she’s my little sister, that’s gross.” He didn’t sound convincing.

“That didn’t stop you from spying on her and her boyfriend doing it, and learning they were kinky. Remember how she was constantly pushing him down to kiss her knees, and he kept trying to climb in the saddle? And I know you thought she looked really hot half naked. Besides, I think the grossness is the appeal. Aren’t all cunts smelly and moist and gross? Aren’t they supposed to be?”

He tried to zing me, “Then I suppose you’d like a cock?”

I was silent because really the idea of a gross sweaty cock touching me was fascinating.

I waited too long and feared he figured me out. Though I could just as easily see him not noticing. Quickly I switched the topic back, “The grosser the cunt the better. Shouldn’t all cunts smell like fish – and be slimy too?”

Trev countered, “What if there were half dried vaginal secretions in it?”

“I’d lick it up like a man mad with cunniphilitis.”

“OK, what if she wanted you to lick her used dildo?”

“I’d like that! I’d be her cunniphillist…but it’s starting to sound like you’ve got cunniphobia.”

He ignored me, “Sure, but what if there were some guys cum in it?”

I answered with reserved slowness, “It would still be a cunt.”

“Oh yea, suppose she left her juices all over her boyfriend’s cock?” This repartee made me think of Jenni and her boyfriend. She was away at college for the first time. Maybe I’d see her on the upcoming break and could stare at her big round ass when she wasn’t looking. I’d imagine damp white cotton panties under her jeans. I’d imagine her peeling them off, exposing the tiny crusty spot where they pressed on her cunny.

I hesitated in answering his last question. But I’d also known Trev for years so I went out on a limb. I told myself that he probably knew anyway after my slip up. “Um, yeah. I’d do that. Cause, you know – cunt juice.”

He didn’t scream that it was gross or even seem judgemental despite the actual words, “Well then you’d be a guy acting like a cunt, because only cunts lick cocks.” He paused for just a second, then laughed at his own joke, smiling at me warmly, “You’d be a cunnist.”

“If I get to lick a cunt too, then I’d welcome being a cunnist.”

“If you’re a cunnist, then just like a cunt you would take cocks into yourself…you’d actually be a phallinguist.”

“Now you’re just engaging in cunnification.”

“Maybe I am. But you’re still the cunnificator.”

Then Trev said something that made my heart beat fast: “Well, I wish I had a cunnist here to be my phallinguist right now.” The statement seemed pretty blatantly obvious, but Trev is a notoriously bad communicator. Did we both mean exactly the same thing when we used that made up word?

I wanted to suck his cock. I just didn’t want to SAY that I wanted to suck his cock. Picking up the dice for our ongoing game I said, “It’s your turn to read.” Then I rolled the dice. “I wanna win your old xbox so let’s get on with it.

Trev grinned devilishly, “The king waves his wand and the knight is transformed into a cunniform and must commit phalladmiry to get through the passage.” Of course I knew that wasn’t part of the game. He’d just inserted that due to our word play.

But this was my chance. I eyed him roguishly, “Transformed? How?”

“Well, you could wear Jenny’s cosplay gear, as a demonstration of the transformation.”

“And just what would the phalladmiration include?” I hoped he would blurt out something wildly and rudely sexual and the cat would be out of the bag.

“First, you would bow down to the great cockelisk. Then…then we’d roll the dice. And if you make it through the passage you will find yourself in the land of Cunnidom. Better yet, you’d be in the cunnery in Cunnidom.” It wasn’t wild enough for me, but it did move us cockward.

I went into Jenny’s room and put on her Catgirl fantasy tights, bra, wig, and other stuff too that she had worn when she went as Kitrina Falcone. Looking in her mirror I really did look feminine in the catsuit. There was a bulge where my package was, but in a flash of inspiration I reached in and pulled it all back between my legs. Now the effect was complete.

When I came back out I announced dramatically, “The knight has been cunnified and is ready to be a phallitiate.”

This little game was too good to be true. And Trev’s crotch area was looking pretty good.

“You’ve got to bow down in obedience.”

“I can’t really admire the great tower of cock unless it becomes manifest.” I thought maybe he’d be reluctant but Trev really didn’t have many boundaries. He was crude and tactless and would say anything to anyone without understanding why he shouldn’t.

Swiveling his chair to face me head on, he lifted his hips then lowered his pants and underwear to mid thigh, “The tower stands majestically, ready for your veneration.” It really did stand pretty tall too. When it came to physical attributes Trev had it all.

I did a little curtsy in the black suit, bowing low with a great flourish, “Oh mighty wand, your magic is legend.” Trev smiled appreciatively while I moved the game forward, “Ok, hand me the dice.”

If things went right he would coerce me into sucking his cock without me ever admitting my secret desire. He just needed to make it so I couldn’t win the Xbox unless I did exactly as commanded.

Trev continued, “Anything for such an alluring cunt.” He slid the dice closer to me and I rolled again. Pretending to read his script he said, “The phallufication must commence with words of praise and wonderment.

This would be easy. His cock really did look great. But did he just want me to shower him with compliments? Or would we go further? I started off with, “It rises like a magic staff, longer than all the others. It’s thick and strong and smells of Earth’s musk.” I rolled the dice but one went under a couch so we didn’t even know the result.

“How do you know what it smells like from way over there? You should come over here and find out for yourself.” He sounded sly.

Swaying my hips I walked with an exaggerated feminine swagger. When I was right between his legs I dropped suddenly to my knees, placing my hands on his thighs. I leaned close, taking a theatrical whiff. It was sensational! It had a combination tangy-pungent perfume that made my cock jump with my heart.

“Does it stink, Kitrina?”

I took a few more breaths and was wonderfully assaulted by the scent. I grinned from ear to ear, “It’s gross. Just like a cuntstick should be.”

“Really? What’s it smell like?”

I sucked in intentionally and thoughtfully, “It smells like locker rooms and piss.” I took another inhalation. “And sweaty underwear mixed with fish.” Are you sure you’ve never…”

“Nah, but if I leave any cum on it after jerking off, the wank-froth takes on that smell. I whacked off just before you came over. I bet it’s still damp.” It was his turn to leer. “You like it. Don’t you?”

I did. It was my first time smelling a person’s privates. But even dressed as Catgirl, crouching between his knees, inhaling his cock’s emanations, I was too nervous to confess too much. I offered a more nuanced admission, “It smells exactly like I think a cunt would.”

“Good.” His smile was devious. “Come on Catgirl, look at me.” I felt anonymous in the mask. Or better yet, I felt like I WAS the alter ego. I looked right in his eyes and saw lust there staring back at me. “Catgirl, I want you to cunnify your mouth. Shape it like a cunt.”

So I did. I pushed out my lips, making a circle of them. Trev’s cock throbbed once or twice. “Your lips seem cunnilly fuckable.” I was thrilled. This was really going to happen!

Trev reached out, taking hold of my head and drawing me into the crevice where his balls and leg met. “Is it moist? Is it gross enough for you?” I was so glad that he understood that I liked gross body smells and didn’t reject me. But I bet a lot of guys were like me. Isn’t men’s appreciation for the scent of a woman famous?

I could only moan in reply. Not only was there a delicious residue of moisture, but all the funky smells one would expect were there in abundance too. How long had it been since he’d showered? How lucky I was that it wasn’t just before we started? I breathed in and out heavily, absorbing all of the malodorous sexy essence. It wasn’t a cunt but it was closer to a cunt than I’d ever been.

He rubbed my face all over his dank testicles then changed tactics to rub his hard sticky-clammy cock all over my face. I loved the raw sensual reek. Knowing that some of it was due to the vestiges of his last orgasm only made it dirtier – and better.

From up above me Trev asked, “Are your lips still cunnified?” I could only nod with my face being dragged and pushed all over his nasty sex organs.

“Great!” He said, “I’m gonna phallusize your cunt now.” He lifted my head up so his stiff wand was pointing right at my pussy shaped lips.

When he pushed my mouth down over the end it forced its way through my tight cuntlips. There I discovered a unique taste. Hopefully, I told myself, it was smegma. Just the sound of the word was delightful.

Instantly with inches of his cock in my mouth I started sucking. No need to pretend now. It was a happy foulness to suck a disgusting hard penis.

Trev fucked my mouth for too short a time, treating it like a cunt for his enjoyment. I let him use me and loved the dirtiness of the whole scene.

I craved being immersed in the ribald stench of a woman’s cunt but this seemed a worthy substitute.

Unfortunately, it ended too soon, when with no warning, fantastically bitter goo bubbled up out of his mushroom. His noxious mire oozed into my mouth while my own cock leaked its own, trapped and bent back uncomfortably in Jenni’s costume.

Trev pushed me off even as I tried to savor the experience and milk the last drops out. Turning to his desk he immediately started working on something there. Curtly he admitted, “I think you made it to Cunnidom. The Xbox is yours.”

Rushing out of there still dressed in a woman’s cosplay, I hurried home to beat off. As I left I heard Trev saying goodbye and mentioning that he owed me a favor.

It was three days later and we’d texted a few times. There was no mention of my phallic admiration so everything was normal.

Finally Trev said I should come to the cunnery. That he had something planned for me. Excited with the possibility to suck his dirty cock again, I donned the catsuit once more. I could always say I put it on to return it. Though I did put on makeup too. It would just be Trev and apparently we had no more secrets.

I let myself in when I got there only to discover Jenni’s boyfriend sitting on the couch in the living room. I was surprised to see him and he was surprised by my clothes. I explained it away by claiming that we were playing a game and that I wanted to win Trev’s Xbox. I hoped that was good enough.

Jenni came out and I imagined she was flirting with me with her boyfriend right there. When my eyes caught a glimpse of the creased fabric of her pants scrunched up against her pussy, those feelings I’d harbored for years rose up. I wanted to BE her panties – held close to her cunt all day long.