Chapter 24

[Butter]Fly on the wall
Someone who is able to observe something closely but invisibly and without interfering in the situation.

• o 🦋 o •

“I love you, James.” I tried to mimic Mica’s voice as I sat on my bed. It didn’t sound quite right. His voice was much more musical. 

“I love you, James.” I smirked. 

I sounded like a croaking toad. 

Anyway, I was hand-sewing. For Mica. My butterfly plushy (named Mica) sat beside me and watched as I crafted for my boyfriend. I was embroidering socks. He always wore white socks during ballet so I figured I’d sew something cute on the inside to remind him of me. 

I smirked. I felt so judged by butterfly Mica. 

I looked up at him. “Alright you try saying it, then.” 

“I love you, James.” Mica’s voice rang through my ears. 

I sighed contentedly. 

“Whatcha doing?” My little sis said as she jumped on the bed.

“Just making something for Mica.” I smiled. 

Lila pouted. “I wanna make something for Mica too!” 

“Alright, why don’t you try coloring then? I have some pens on my desk.” 

Lila smiled happily. “Okay!” She jumped off the bed and collected a few colors and my notebook before climbing back on. 

“I’m gonna draw a butterfly!” Lila cheered. 

“Sounds perfect.” I smiled.

I love you, James. I heard Mica’s voice again. I couldn’t even eat anymore. I could hardly sleep because of all the butterflies in my stomach. They always kept me awake. And even when I was awake I felt like I was half dreaming. At this rate it’d be a miracle if I was able to finish school. 

I looked back down at my sock. I was halfway through embroidering ‘I love you, James’ into it. 

“Shit.” I whispered as I started pulling the threads out. 

“Did you say a bad word?” Lila’s eyes grew big. 

“No! I said.. swift.” 

“Didn’t sound like that to me.” Lila wondered. 

“Well sometimes things sound different than.. how someone meant them.” 

“Huh?” 

I never make any sense. Especially not now. I had to change the subject!

“Uh- look! Look what Mica won me!” I pointed to the butterfly plushy on the bed. 

Lila gasped. “It’s so pretty!” 

The sun was already out but suddenly it shone brighter and straight into the room. I looked up and found Mica in the doorway. 

“Mica.” I said surprised while my heart started racing. 

Mica smiled. “Hi.” 

The backdoor was open. Maybe he just walked in. My dad was home too…

“H-how long have you been standing there?” 

“MICAA!” Lila screamed excitedly. She jumped off the bed and right into Mica’s arms. 

“Lilaaa!” Mica sang. He spun her around in the air. “I missed you.” He pouted. 

“I missed you more!” 

Mica glanced at me for a moment. “A while. I heard you say my name.” Mica smiled shyly.

“Mom wouldn’t let me go to the festival after bed time.” Lila whined.

“Did you go before?” Mica asked.

She nodded happily. 

“You must have had so much fun with your parents.”

Lila nodded and began ranting about her day at the festival. 

Mica was completely invested. He listened to every word she said and he always had a cute or funny remark which would spark her to go on. He loved her. I could tell. 

I grabbed my camera and took a few pictures of them. 

“Hey!” Lila noticed me before Mica did. 

“He just wants your picture cause you’re so pretty.” Mica whispered into Lila’s ear. 

Lila giggled and Mica smiled like his day was made. 

Then he looked at the mess on the bed. “What’s all this?” He asked. 

“Oh crap!” I grabbed all my sewing stuff and swiped it off the sheets. I pushed it under the bed. “It’s nothing!” 

“We’re making you gifts!” Lila cheered. 

“Lila!” I complained. 

Mica chuckled. “Really? That’s so sweet.” He kissed my sister’s cheek and put her on the ground. Then he joined me on the bed and looked at me.

“Socks?” He finally said. 

I sighed. “You saw that?! What are you? A hawk?” I pulled them out from under the bed. 

Lila sat on Mica’s lap. 

“I was embroidering something on the inside of these so you could wear them at ballet.” I handed one sock to Mica. 

He looked at the inside. 

always thinkin abt u- james

Mica stared at it for a long time. 

He didn’t like it. Of course not, I was terrible at sewing and it was kind of stupid! And I’m sure his socks were like better quality, but these were the best I could find!

I was staring at the sheets when Lila suddenly said: “Don’t cry, Mica.” 

I looked at Mica and he smiled as he wiped away a tear. “I’m sorry.” 

“I know he’s very messy but he meant well!” Lila patted Mica’s cheeks with her tiny hands. 

Mica chuckled. “I’m not sad.” He kissed Lila’s forehead. Then he looked at me. 

“It’s perfect. I’m gonna wear these every day.” 

Mica’s eyes were shining. He was really happy. 

“Thank you.” Mica pressed. He was acting like I’d given him a diamond ring. Well.. I guess he already had those. This was something original. Maybe that’s why it meant so much to him.

“I’m gonna have to finish up the other one cause I messed it up.” I said. 

“‘Kay.” Mica smiled at me. He leaned forward and we kissed. 

“Ew!” My sister shrieked. She jumped off Mica’s lap and ran out of the room. 

We both chuckled and continued kissing. I held Mica by his chin and opened his mouth a little. Mica hummed when our tongues touched. 

“Wow! Guys!” I heard my dad’s voice. 

We pulled away from each other immediately. Mica turned a few shades brighter and so did I. 

“What’s going on here?” My dad asked. He sounded so shocked. 

“Dad, please-“

“No, you know what? I promised your mother I wouldn’t but I think it’s important.” My dad closed the door and joined us on the bed. Mica honestly looked scared. 

“You’re obviously teenagers. And that comes with some.. hormones and emotions. And I know your mom already discussed this with you but it’s important Mica is on the same page,” 

“Please, dad. Don’t..” I begged. This was about to get really awkward. 

“Mica, have you had the talk?” My dad asked sternly. 

“The… The what?” Mica mumbled. 

“You know, most parents tell their kids about heterosexual sex. We’re going to talk about homosexual sex today. I think you both need to be informed so that no one gets pregnant.” 

I frowned and Mica just looked more confused than ever. 

“I mean- Sorry, that was not what I meant to say. I just went on autopilot there. Now, I have some pamphlets in my room…” 

• o 🦋 o •

Mica laughed as we strolled through the woods by his house. 

“It’s not funny! I wanted to die just now!” 

“Your dad’s sweet. He meant well.” Mica shrugged.

“Yeah, well, he made me associate sex with him, so. It’s over.” I sighed. 

“At least you won’t get me pregnant.” Mica smirked.

“Ha-ha.” I sat down in the dirt. I was wearing old clothes and I felt melodramatic. “Just bury me here.” I whined. 

“My dad wouldn’t even bring it up. He thinks the less I know about it, the less likely I’ll do it.” Mica shrugged. 

I was surprised Mica said something about his dad finally. I felt like he was finally letting me in. 

“No sex before marriage type thing?” I asked.

“And no marriage before career.” Mica nodded. 

“…Do you agree with that?” I asked. 

Mica traced a tree and thought for a moment. “I used to. Now I’m not so sure.” 

My heart began to race. He wasn’t sure about what? About sex before marriage? Or the career thing? And either way.. What had changed? Had I been the one to change his mind? Which meant… Did that mean he wanted to… sleep with me? Or marry me? Or both? Yeah, cause when you get married there’s a honeymoon. Holy shit! Did Mica want to sleep with me? Me?!

Mica looked around the forest. His eyes fell on something I couldn’t see. “Aw.. look at that!” 

“What is it?” I straightened my back. 

Mica knelt down and scooped something off the ground. Then he turned to me. 

“It’s a toad!” He said cheerfully. 

“EW!” I shrieked. 

Mica laughed. “Don’t say ew! It’s so cute!” 

“It’s ugly and has weird uneven skin and, ew, look at those beady eyes! It’s frowning! Yikes!” 

“I can’t believe you don’t like toads! His eyes are adorable.” Mica held the medium sized toad close and carefully caressed its head with his thumb. 

“Butterflies are adorable. Toads are vile.” 

“You can’t even pet a butterfly.” Mica mocked.

“You don’t pet art!” I countered.

Mica shook his head. “I prefer the toadie over here.” 

“It’s okay. You have better taste in fashion and music than me so.. It’s good I get at least one category.” 

“I like how you dress.” Mica mused while petting the toad. 

“…Guess I get fashion too.” I concluded.

The toad jumped out of Mica’s hand right on my lap. 

I scrunched up my face. “Ew! Mica, get it off, please!” 

“No way. It’s staying with you.” 

“WHY!” 

The toad jumped off my lap into the dirt. 

“There you go. That’s where you belong.” 

Mica sat on my lap. “Stop being mean.” He pecked my lips.

“Fine.” I smiled softly.

We watched the toad as it jumped on a rock. 

“Toad-lover.” I said under my breath. 

Mica jabbed my rib. 

“Ow!” 

“Shh! Look!” Mica said, pointing at the toad. 

There was a white butterfly fluttering near it. It landed on the toad’s head. It looked super cute. And.. weirdly artistic. 

“Crap, I don’t have my camera.” I whispered. 

Mica took out his phone but before he even had the chance to take a picture the butterfly moved on to a pretty branch. 

“Oh, it flew away.”