Chapter 6

To break a butterfly on a wheel
Referring to an excessive amount of force that has been applied to achieve something minor, unimportant, or insignificant.

• o 🦋 o •

I was filled with excitement as I walked into the stunning theater. I looked at the poster to my side. Giselle it said in big golden letters. I had never seen a real ballet before. I was very excited… I was mostly excited to see Mica. I wondered why he wasn’t dancing the lead. I couldn’t imagine someone dancing better than him.

After showing my ticket at the front desk I walked into the theater hall. A lady by the door showed me to my chair.

This was a really good seat. I was up on the first balcony with a perfect view of the stage.

I sat down in one of the red velvet chairs anxiously staring at the curtains in front of me.

I wondered how Mica was feeling. He must be nervous. I decided to text him.

Jay: You’ve got this! Good luck!

There weren’t many chairs on this balcony. I supposed it was a very private booth.

Suddenly music started playing. It was peaceful. I waited for the curtains to open but they didn’t throughout the entire first song.

So I read the little program. This ballet was about a girl named Giselle who got her heart broken by an asshole prince named Albrecht resulting to her dying of a broken heart. She then decided to save him from some evil forest ghosts even though he didn’t deserve it. Her best friend Hilarion (played by Mica!!!) was also in love with her but she didn’t return those feelings. How sad.

The curtains opened and the ballet started. The idiot prince made an appearance. I leaned forward. Why would she choose him! He was totally not even half as attractive as Mica!

Soon after, Mica appeared. My heart fluttered. He was so good. Even when he was just walking or acting he was amazing. Every move he made was mesmerizing.

No offence, but Giselle was stupid. And so were the casting directors, hello?!

I once again admired Mica’s grace and lithe movements.

The ballet went on. Every scene that didn’t have Mica in it went by incredibly slowly.

We were in the second act now. Giselle had died and Hilarion was coming to some creepy ghost forest to see her one last time. I think this is the scene where he gets danced to death. I was so excited.

I gasped as Mica appeared. He was doing such a good job. Every inch of his body from his toes to the tips of his fingers was moving so smoothly.

He was dancing with the evil ghosts now. In this scene his character’s been dancing for hours and he’s supposed to look exhausted. Mica was playing his role well. 

He was still dancing and dancing until the ghosts threw him out of sight. And that was Mica’s final scene.

I got up and started applauding. “Go Micaa!” I cheered him on.

People looked up in annoyance. 

Oh. I guess I was not supposed to clap now. Whoops.

• o 🦋 o •

I’d managed to worm my way backstage after the performance. Mica was amazing. I was so proud of him. I pushed through all the ballet dancers who looked at me like I was dirt. I didn’t care. I was only here for Mica.

I reached his dressing room.

MICA ADONIS WALTERS it said on the door.

I had no idea that was his full name. Once again, casting directors, what is your deal? Hello? Prince? Prince name? No???

I knocked on the door but there was no response.

I decided to go on inside.

Mica was pacing up and down the room. He was back in his normal clothes. He stopped when he saw me.

“Mica! You were awesome! I know I know nothing about ballet but you were the best man in there, by far!” I said excitedly.

Mica just looked down at the ground. He didn’t seem half as happy as he should be.

“What’s wrong?” I asked quietly.

“It wasn’t good enough.” He whispered.

“What are you talking about? You were amazing.”

“I messed up in the second act..” Mica started pacing again. He looked seriously worried.

“The second act? You mean with those ghosts? I didn’t see anything..”

Mica tried to take deep breaths but I was honestly worried about him. He seemed like he was about to hyperventilate.

“You should sit down.”

I sat Mica down in the red chair in front of the bathroom door.

He took a deep breath before burying his hands in his hair. He was shaking and breathing heavily. I was so worried.

I knelt next to him.

“Look, even if you made a mistake, it’s not like anyone will have seen it. It doesn’t matter!” I tried to comfort him.

It was no use. Mica wasn’t listening anymore. He was just holding his head in his hands and trying to breathe. Maybe I should call someone…

The door swung open.

I turned around and looked at the tall man entering the room. His hair was deep black. He was dressed in a black suit. No color whatsoever, even under his suit jacket he wore a black turtleneck. His hair was combed back and his face was expressionless. His eyes were a cold dark brown.

Mica looked up into the man’s eyes and that’s when I saw it: fear.

Was this the director? The choreographer? His boss?

The man averted his gaze to me. He smiled faintly.

“You must be James.” This man had a very deep voice. It still sounded sort of calm but there was something about it that was incredibly intimidating.

I rose to my feet.

“My name is George Walters, Mica’s father.” He introduced himself.

This was Mica’s father?!

“N-nice to meet you, sir.” I shook his hand.

“Your son is very talented.” I said nervously.

“Yes. He is.” George gave Mica a look I couldn’t read.

“Would you mind leaving us alone for a moment?” He asked.

I looked at Mica. He was sitting still as a statue, staring at the floor. Something was off and I really wasn’t comfortable leaving him alone with this man for some reason.. but who was I to argue?

“Okay.” I said before leaving the room.

I closed the door behind me and waited.

I tried to listen to what they were talking about but George spoke very quietly and his voice was too low to make out what he was saying. In the hallway people were still running around trying to get things done. The sound was hard to hear over.

I placed my ear against the door.

Still I heard nothing. Well, that was good. At least George wasn’t screaming. His voice stayed mostly monotone and quiet. I didn’t hear Mica’s voice at all. I was so worried.

The door suddenly opened and I almost fell inside.

I looked up into George’s cold eyes. He had scornful look on his face. I shivered.

He didn’t say another word to me and just brushed against me as he walked out of the room. I watched him go down the hallway.

I immediately went inside Mica’s dressing room. He wasn’t there.

“Mica?” I called.

I heard some sounds from the bathroom.

He came out and met my gaze. My heart sank. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were red. He’d been crying.

“You’re still here?” He asked quietly.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Mica forced a smile. “I’m fine.”

He sniffed and went to grab his things from the table.

What had his father just said to him? He’d already been upset before but now he just looked completely heartbroken.

I opened my mouth to speak when another man came into the room.

Mica turned around.

“Frank!” He said surprised.

“Mica, you did a magnificent job! A lot of people doubted my choice to give you a big role but you’ve delivered.” Frank grabbed Mica’s shoulders.

This was probably the director.

Mica just plastered on one of his perfect smiles.

“You were a stunning Hilarion. Even as an apprentice. Perhaps next time I can convince them to give you the role you deserve, God knows you’ve worked hard for it.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Of course, crab cake.” Frank squeezed Mica’s cheek.

Frank finally looked at me. “And who’s this?”

“I’m Mica’s friend, Jay.” I introduced myself.

“Oh.” Frank seemed disappointed. What was that about?

“Oh well. Keep shining, my star!” He said as he left the room.

Mica turned around and continued packing his things.

“See? I’m not the only one who thinks you were great!”

Mica didn’t answer. He just tried to grab his things as fast as possible. It was now that I noticed his hands were shaking.

I grabbed them.

“I’ll do it, okay?”

His eyes met mine again. He looked so scared. I wanted to do nothing more than take his pain away.

He nodded slowly.

“Is your dad waiting for you in the car?” I asked gently.

“No. I’m walking home.”

“What? Why!” Mica’s house was 7,5 miles away!

“Don’t worry about it. I could use the exercise.” He said lightly.

“You’ve been dancing all day.” I said incredulously.

Mica just looked down at the floor.

Anger was rising in my veins.

“Is he making you walk home?” I said through clenched teeth.

Mica didn’t say anything.

• o 🦋 o •

I’d walked Mica to the front of the theater. He’d said goodbye to all his cast members and friends. He seemed a lot calmer now.

We were standing by my bike.

“I could give you a ride home.” I offered.

Mica looked away. Insecurity in his eyes.

“We’ll stop to walk when we’re close. He won’t even know.” I insisted.

“You really don’t have to.” Mica said quietly.

I got on my bike. “Come on.” I smiled.

I grabbed Mica’s bag and swung it over my shoulder.

“Thank you.” Mica said as he sat behind me.

He wrapped his gentle arms around my waist.

I felt a little nervous but managed to calm myself down and start paddling.

“Is it comfortable?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Mica answered.

He was so quiet. He usually always had something to say. He was normally so endlessly cheerful. Now he was like butterfly that had its wings clipped off.

“Does your dad do stuff like this more often?” I asked gently.

It took a long time before Mica answered.

“It was my own fault. I shouldn’t have made that mistake.”

I bit my tongue. The only mistake Mica made tonight was blaming himself.

I wondered what other crap Mica’s dad put him through. This was bordering abuse.

“Is he… He’s not hurting you in any way, is he?”

I heard a soft laugh behind me.

“No. Don’t worry about that. He’s just a little strict, that’s all.”

Oh. Good. I sighed of relief.

“You’re a really sweet guy, James.” Mica said suddenly, making my heart thump.

“So are you. And for the record, you’re a great dancer. And you were AWESOME tonight.” I said the last part just a little louder than was necessary but I just needed him to understand how lovely he was.

Mica tightened his grasp around me and laid his head against my back.

“Can I get off here?” Mica asked after a while.

“Here? We’re not even close..”

“Please? I don’t want to risk my dad seeing us.”

I hit the brake. Mica was so scared of his father. I couldn’t believe his dad was just strict. Somewhere inside me I could feel something was wrong.

Mica got off the bike. I did the same and put the bike on it’s stand.

“Want me to walk some more with you?”

“No, you’ve done more than enough. Don’t worry about me.” Mica said.

I did worry, though. Something wasn’t right. I was scared for Mica. If anything happened to him now…

“You can spend the night at my place. Wait till your dad’s calmer.”

Mica’s eyes filled with warmth. He seemed touched by my words.

“It’s not necessary.”

He was putting on a brave face.

I took a step forward.

“Are you sure?” I insisted.

Mica gave me one of his signature knee-weakening smiles.

Suddenly he wrapped his arms around me and held me in a tight hug.

I wrapped my arms around him too and squeezed him close. I didn’t want to let go. Especially if it meant leaving him with that man.

Mica gently pulled away.

“I’ll be fine.” He reassured me. “Thank you. For coming and for being so sweet. I’ll make it up to you.”

“You don’t have to. I had a great time.”

Mica smiled again. “Okay. I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah.” I answered.

Mica turned around and walked down the street.

I wanted to tell him to let me know when he was home. And if he was safe.

I didn’t.