Chapter 14
It was Friday noon, when Est’s car had settled softly over the Sangaworawong residence.
Servants moved through long hallways preparing flower arrangements and dinner settings for the evening gathering while sunlight spilled across polished marble floors in warm golden sheets. Somewhere downstairs, Est could already hear his mother giving at least three contradictory instructions to the kitchen staff with alarming confidence.
Monthly family gathering day.
Which meant two things:
the house would become loud very soon,
and William would eventually arrive with that bright chaotic energy that somehow altered the atmosphere of entire rooms.
He sat near the edge of his bed, sleeves rolled neatly while scrolling through work emails on his tablet. Casual clothes today-dark lounge pants and a loose blue shirt instead of office attire.
Rare.
The company had finally granted him one weekday off after nearly a month of endless meetings, project discussions, and preparation for his upcoming overseas business trip. Not that his mind had truly rested lately. Because somewhere between work schedules and late-night calls, William had apparently become woven into his daily rhythm too naturally.
Their monthly family gatherings usually take place on weekends, but William will have his end-of-year performance on Saturday, hence the two queens of the powerful families decided to push it early. Neither one of the moms agrees to postpone the regular activity.
The door to Est’s bedroom suddenly opened without warning. Earn entered dramatically carrying iced coffee and immediate chaos.
“You’re alive, P’,” she announced dramatically. “Mom thought you became one with capitalism again.”
Est barely looked up.
“I answered three work calls.”
“Exactly.”
She handed him one coffee before dropping herself carelessly onto the carpet near the sofa instead of using any of the actual furniture available. Very Earn behavior.
For a while, only the soft sound of air conditioning and distant household movement filled the room. Then-
“So,” Earn began casually. “How’s your husband?”
“He’s not my husband.”
“Fiancé then,” she corrected easily. “Temporary premium subscription husband.”
Est sighed quietly.
“You people share one collective brain cell.”
Earn grinned immediately.
“And it’s dedicated entirely to your love life.”
The morning sunlight painted her softly where she sat cross-legged against the sofa, looking far too pleased with herself. Earn had always been loud in a warm way-not overwhelming like Daou or Pond, but impossible to ignore once she decided on something.
And unfortunately, she had decided long ago that William belonged permanently in their family. Not surprising, perhaps. William and Earn had become close years before Est himself truly noticed William properly. Design discussions. Shopping trips. Late-night arguments about fashion and colors and aesthetics Est pretended not to understand.
Sometimes it genuinely felt like William was more naturally Earn’s sibling than fiancé to Est.
“You spend too much time online.” He said finally.
Earn leaned back against the sofa dramatically while sipping her coffee.
“You know he got nervous choosing clothes for today?”
Est blinked once.
“…Why?”
“He said our family house somehow feels scarier after the engagement banquet.”
Cute.
The thought arrived immediately before Est could stop it.
“He’s dramatic,” Est answered calmly.
“Mm,” Earn hummed knowingly. “You know what’s funny?” she continued. “Back then I genuinely thought William would give up eventually.”
That made Est look up properly this time.
Earn smiled faintly.
“Not because he didn’t like you enough,” she clarified softer now. “But because you were… difficult.”
Very fair.
For years, Est had simply viewed William as familiar background presence. Back then, Est never truly paused long enough to consider what William’s feelings meant. Until the engagement discussions began. Until William stood nervously beside him exchanging silver necklaces beneath ballroom lights. Until Est started noticing how carefully William loved people. Interesting how slowly affection could reshape perspective.
“He tries very hard around you,” Earn said quietly.
Est looked down briefly at the untouched emails on his tablet screen. Yes. That part he knew.
“He still gets nervous before seeing you,” Earn added suddenly, visibly amused again. “Actually, no. Worse now.”
“…Worse?”
“You started teasing him back.”
Ah. Again, fair point.
Est leaned back slightly against the headboard. Outside the balcony, Bangkok shimmered beneath pale noon sunlight. At first, teasing William happened accidentally. Now though-Est occasionally did it on purpose simply because William’s reactions were entertaining. Dangerous habit.
Earn narrowed her eyes toward him suspiciously. She then grinned triumphantly before suddenly crawling closer across the carpet like an investigator approaching critical evidence.
“So,” she said. “Tell me honestly.”
“That already sounds dangerous.”
“Did you think about him after the kiss, P’?”
Est went still for exactly half a second. Unfortunately, Earn noticed immediately.
“Oh my god,” she gasped dramatically. “You did.”
“It would be stranger if I didn’t. And how did you even know about that?”
Earn looked delighted and smug. “If you didn’t know already, P’, I’m the person who Willy will talk to about everything. And his first kiss with you? He will never not tell me.”
Est just sighed, knowing exactly that it was probably true.
“Details.”
“No.”
“Coward.”
Est almost sighed again. Almost. Because strangely enough, annoyance never fully arrived around Earn. Perhaps because she had always understood him too easily.
She tilted her head toward him knowingly.
“You like him.”
Est almost answered automatically. Not love yet. The thought came instinctively now. Because that remained the truth. What he felt for William was warm, growing, real-but not yet deep enough to call love honestly. Still-the line between like and something more had begun blurring quietly lately.
Earn smiled suddenly.
“That face means yes.”
“I didn’t make a face.”
“You absolutely did.”
Est decided silence was safer. Earn laughed softly before standing up and wandering toward his balcony doors.
“You know what I think?” she asked casually.
“I think,” she continued anyway, “William makes you softer.”
The words settled strangely inside the room. Soft. Not weak. Not careless. Just softer. And perhaps that was true too. Because lately, Est laughed more. Teased more. Stayed longer in conversations he used to leave early.
She continued softer this time, “I’m really happy.”
Est glanced toward her quietly.
“For what?”
“You finally letting someone close. Properly.”
The words settled gently between them. Because William had indeed become close somehow. Not suddenly. Not dramatically. Just little by little.
Downstairs, their mother’s voice suddenly echoed upward through the staircase.
“Earn! Est! Stop hiding and come help!”
Earn groaned dramatically.
“She says help,” she muttered, standing up reluctantly. “But really she means ‘listen to wedding gossip for three hours.'”
“Sounds accurate.”
Earn moved toward the bedroom door first, then paused suddenly before leaving. “Oh,” she added casually, “William texted me earlier.”
Est looked up before he could stop himself. Earn noticed immediately.
“He asked whether our mother still likes orchid arrangements or changed preferences recently,” she continued with visible amusement. “Because apparently he remembers she mentioned wanting different flowers last gathering.”
…Ah.
that warmth settled quietly inside Est’s chest again. Small things. William always remembered small things.
“He’s trying too hard,” Est murmured almost unconsciously.
Earn smiled. “No,” she corrected gently. “He just cares about our family like his own.”
Then she disappeared downstairs before Est could answer. Leaving behind only sunlight, quiet air-and the strange realization that Est had already begun thinking the exact same thing too.
~*~
The Kaewpanpong family arrived exactly forty minutes later in their usual elegant chaos. The moment William stepped into the main living hall beside his parents, sunlight caught briefly against the silver necklace resting near his collarbone.
Their necklace.
William wore soft cream knitwear today, hair slightly messy from the drive. Comfortable. Handsomely bright. And unfortunately-still capable of affecting Est immediately on sight.
William noticed him standing near the staircase almost instantly. Then visibly tried to act normal about it. Which lasted approximately three seconds.
“P’Est,” he greeted, voice suspiciously careful.
Behind William, both mothers immediately abandoned all dignity.
“Oh, look at them,” Est’s mother sighed dramatically to William’s mom. “Already staring.”
“We should’ve prepared wedding invitations earlier,” William’s mother agreed.
William nearly died.
“Mom.”
“What?” she asked innocently.
Earn appeared beside Est immediately like an agent of destruction.
“I give them five minutes before William combusts.”
“I’m not combusting,” William argued weakly. Sea-level lie. Even Est could see the redness already creeping toward William’s ears.
The family gathering unfolded exactly as expected afterward: warm, loud, slightly impossible to survive peacefully. The fathers discussed business expansions and investment directions in one section of the room while the mothers exchanged gossip disguised very poorly as concern. Earn switched loyalties every five minutes depending on who looked easier to tease.
And somehow, in the middle of all that noise, Est found himself watching William more often than intended. William laughing with his mother. William helping carry tea despite servants existing. William becoming dramatically offended when Earn exposed childhood stories. Bright. Always bright. Interesting how much easier it had become to imagine him permanently inside Est’s life now. That realization should probably concern him more.
Eventually, after dinner and enough teasing to emotionally destroy several people, William escaped upstairs with visible desperation. Est followed a few minutes later. Not intentionally. Probably.
The second floor had grown quieter compared to the warm chaos downstairs. The mothers were still talking somewhere in the dining area-most likely about flowers, guest lists, or engagement banquet aftermaths despite the event already being over a month ago. Some things apparently never ended.
Soft yellow lighting stretched across the upper hallway while distant laughter occasionally drifted upward from below. When Est reached the lounge area near the family bedrooms, he found William standing in front of the built-in bookshelf lining the wall. Not inside Est’s room. Just near it.
William stood there quietly with one hand resting against the shelf edge, eyes moving carefully over book spines like someone trying not to look too interested.
Est suddenly remembered something unexpected:
William had actually never entered his private spaces before. Not the condo. Not this bedroom. Despite everything between them lately-the engagement, the rain-filled night at the condo, the kiss, the mornings together-William had only ever existed in shared spaces around Est: Living rooms, cars, balconies, restaurants, office lobbies. Never fully inside.
Even here at the Sangaworawong residence, William’s visits throughout the years had always ended the same way: going directly to Earn’s room, lingering downstairs with the families, or waiting politely in hallways.
Sometimes Est used to catch him glancing briefly toward the closed door of Est’s bedroom while passing by. Just looking. Never asking. Perhaps because William respected boundaries naturally. Or perhaps because back then, William still viewed Est as someone slightly distant. Someone difficult to approach too closely.
And honestly-
Est himself had probably allowed that distance to exist.
“You look like you’re planning a robbery,” Est said calmly while approaching.
William startled immediately.
“I was appreciating literature.”
“Mm.”
William glanced once toward the bedroom door beside the lounge area before quickly looking away again. That tiny movement almost made Est smile.
“You can check them if you want,” Est said casually.
William blinked.
“The bookshelf?”
“There are more inside my room.”
Silence. Very sudden silence.
Then William turned toward him slowly.
“…Inside your room?”
Est only realized afterward how intimate the invitation sounded. Not dramatic. Not romantic intentionally. Yet somehow personal anyway.
William visibly tried to stay calm about it. Failed immediately.
“Oh,” he said intelligently. Adorable.
Est leaned lightly against the bookshelf beside him.
“You’ve never seen it before.”
“That’s because normal people don’t casually enter other people’s bedrooms,” William defended weakly. “Especially yours.”
“My room specifically?”
William looked away instantly.
“I’ve said it… you’re intimidating.”
Months ago, Est probably would have accepted that statement easily. Now, however-William still became nervous around him, yes, but not fearful. Never distant. Instead there was warmth beneath the nervousness now. Affection. Comfort trying to bloom despite embarrassment.
“You’ve been to Earn’s room countless times,” Est pointed out.
“That’s different,” William replied immediately. “P’Earn practically kidnaps people emotionally.”
Very Accurate.
Est glanced briefly toward his bedroom door. Then back toward William. “You know,” he said lightly, “for someone who insists on courting me properly, you’ve never once asked to see my room.”
William choked on absolutely nothing.
“That’s because I have dignity.”
“Do you?”
“…Occasionally.”
Est finally smiled properly this time. Small. Brief. But enough to make William stare for half a second too long. William always reacted to simple smiles like rare events.
Then again-perhaps they still were.
William cleared his throat awkwardly afterward, trying and failing to recover composure. “So,” he muttered, “you’re saying I’m officially allowed inside now?”
“Yes,” Est answered simply.
William looked at him quietly for one small moment. And beneath all the flusteredness, Est caught something softer there too. Careful happiness.
Est pushed the bedroom door open first. William followed half a step behind him with visible restraint, like he was trying not to appear too curious and failing quietly.
The room itself looked exactly like Est: clean lines, soft dark colors, organized shelves, minimal decoration. Warm lighting glowed softly against dark wood and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the garden and the city far away. The space was large without feeling empty, lived-in without becoming messy.
A few framed photographs rested near the bookshelf by the wall-family and close friends pictures, university memories, sports tournament medals, student awards.
William noticed everything. Of course he did. His gaze moved slowly through the room, careful and observant in that way Est had begun recognizing lately. William paid attention to spaces because he paid attention to people. Dangerous quality.
“You really live like this,” William murmured eventually.
Est glanced toward him.
“…Like what?”
“Like a luxury hotel that somehow learned emotional stability.”
Est almost laughed.
William wandered farther inside afterward, stopping near the bookshelf first.
“You alphabetized these.”
“Yes.”
“You scare me.”
“You’ve said that already.”
William crouched slightly near the lower shelves, reading titles with quiet fascination. For someone usually loud and expressive, William became softer inside unfamiliar intimate spaces. Not quieter exactly-just gentler somehow.
Est leaned lightly against the desk nearby, watching him. The little details arrived instinctively now. The way William touched objects carefully inside places important to Est. The way his bright personality softened into something warmer when he felt emotionally overwhelmed. The way he kept trying not to smile too openly despite clearly liking being here.
“Oh,” William suddenly said while spotting something near the shelf corner. “You still have this?”
He lifted an old campus basketball photo carefully. Est recognized it immediately. A picture from university days-him, Pond, Daou, and several teammates after winning an inter-university championship years ago.
“You looked younger,” William said softly.
“I was younger.”
“I mean softer.”
The answer surprised Est slightly. Because most people used to describe younger Est differently: sharper, colder, more intimidating. Not softer.
William studied the photograph another second before adding quietly:
“You smiled more naturally there.”
The observation settled strangely in the room. It was fascinating how William noticed things others missed.
Before Est could answer, William suddenly looked embarrassed by his own honesty and immediately turned away toward the balcony doors.
“Your view is insane,” he announced quickly. Smooth recovery attempt. Not successful.
Est followed him outside anyway.
The balcony stretched wide beneath the night sky, warm evening wind moving softly through the quiet air while Bangkok glittered endlessly far from them in rivers of gold and white light. For a while, neither spoke. Comfortable silence.
William rested his arms lightly against the balcony railing while looking out toward the city skyline, silver necklace catching softly beneath the lights.
Then Est said quietly, “I have a business trip next week.”
William turned toward him immediately.
“Oh.”
There it was-that small disappointed expression William tried hiding politely.
“Singapore,” Est continued. “Entertainment district investment meetings.”
William nodded slowly.
“How long?”
“Three days. Or maybe four.”
William looked back toward the skyline afterward.
“You’ll be busy.”
“Yes.”
Silence again.
Then, before thinking too much about it, Est heard himself say, “You could come with me.”
William froze completely. Est himself only realized afterward how personal the invitation sounded. Not formal. Not strategic. Personal.
William turned slowly toward him like he had misheard reality itself.
“…What?”
“The trip,” Est clarified calmly despite suddenly understanding why Earn called him emotionally compromised lately. “You said your performance this week will finalized the semester.”
William stared at him in open disbelief, “You want me to go with you?”
Interesting how much hope fit inside one question. Est looked away briefly toward the city lights. “It might be good experience,” he answered evenly. “If you want to observe company operations.”
Weak excuse. Very weak.
William clearly knew it too because his expression shifted immediately into barely controlled happiness. “Oh,” he said carefully. “Right. Business observation.”
“Mm.”
“Educational.”
“Yes.”
William’s smile became impossible to hide afterward. Bright enough that Est felt warmth settle quietly beneath his ribs again.
“…Okay,” William agreed eventually, trying and failing to sound calm. “I can probably make time for educational purposes.”
Est almost laughed. Instead he looked out toward the city again while William stood beside him glowing softly beneath the balcony lights.
~*~
The university auditorium backstage was chaos wrapped in bright lights and nervous energy.
From where Est stood near the side-stage corridor, he could hear the muffled roar of the audience beyond the curtains-waves of cheering, music transitions, the deep vibration of bass traveling through the floor beneath polished shoes. Students hurried everywhere: stylists carrying makeup palettes, performers adjusting costumes, staff members speaking urgently into headsets. A mess. Organized enough to function. Chaotic enough to exhaust him normally.
And yet tonight, Est found himself oddly patient standing in the middle of it all.
His arrival had been later than intended. Annoyingly late. A final company call regarding Singapore investment revisions had delayed him almost an entire hour, and halfway through the drive to campus Est had genuinely considered whether he would miss William’s stage cue completely. The thought unsettled him more than expected.
As he moved deeper through the backstage corridors, people immediately recognized him. Of course they did.
The engagement news months ago and then the rare shocking moment where Est first came to campus to watch William’s practice, had erased whatever normal anonymity once existed between him and William. Now, whenever Est appeared somewhere related to William, people no longer wondered if they knew each other. They simply thought: William’s fiancé is here.
Fragments of whispers drifted naturally around him as he walked.
“P’Est actually came.”
“He looks like he came straight from work.”
“I heard William kept checking the entrance earlier.”
“That’s honestly kind of sweet.”
Hearing things like that used to irritate him instinctively. Now? Not really.
A stage coordinator approached quickly the moment she spotted him. Est had come three times during practice sessions, it’s no surprise that he’s become friends with William’s friends as well.
“P’Est,” she said in visible relief, “William’s waiting near the stage wing already. They’re almost up. Probably two more performances.”
Est nodded once, and continued walking.
William stood near the side-stage entrance beneath warm backstage lights while stylists made final adjustments around him. Keen lingered nearby holding a guitar while Sea calmly reviewed performance notes on a tablet.
And in the middle of all that movement-William looked hot enough to pull attention instinctively.
Painfully attractive.
The thought arrived immediately. Simple. Certain.
Dark stage clothes fitted neatly against his frame, silver jewelry glinting beneath the lights while soft makeup sharpened his features just enough to make his expressions more dangerous than usual.
But more than that-William looked nervous. His fingers kept touching the engagement necklace on his neck unconsciously while his gaze drifted repeatedly toward the corridor entrance.
Waiting. For him.
Then William looked up. And immediately found him. The reaction happened instantly. Relief softened across William’s entire face so naturally that Est felt his steps pause for half a second without meaning to. Somehow William always managed to look at Est like his arrival mattered most.
William moved toward him almost immediately.
“You came.”
No accusation. No complaint. Just those two words. Simple thing. Heavy thing.
Est stopped beside him calmly.
“I said I would.”
William laughed softly under his breath, and just like that, some of the nervous tension visibly left his shoulders. Est looked at him properly then. And perhaps he stared a little too long. Because William noticed instantly.
“You’re staring,” William muttered weakly, ears already turning red.
“Professional observation.”
“That sounds fake.”
“Mhm.”
William tried to hold eye contact for another second before failing completely and looking away. Beside them, Keen suddenly made a dramatic sound of suffering.
“Oh thank god,” he announced loudly. “Our main vocalist regained his soul stability.”
“I was stable,” William argued immediately.
“You checked the entrance every four minutes.”
Sea appeared behind Keen with his usual calm expression.
“It was actually every two minutes during the last fifteen.”
William looked betrayed.
“You people monitor me like wildlife.”
“Because you behave like endangered prey whenever P’Est is involved,” Keen answered immediately.
Est smiled a little.
Around them, several performers nearby were openly pretending not to stare while absolutely staring. Not subtle at all. Because objectively speaking, the image was probably ridiculous: the university golden performer standing visibly softer the second his fiancé-the previous ‘It Boy’ of their university-arrived backstage.
Interesting how transparent William remained emotionally. And perhaps even more interesting-Est no longer minded being the reason.
A stage coordinator suddenly rushed toward them.
“William! Ten minutes!”
The atmosphere shifted immediately afterward. The playful teasing faded beneath performance tension while backstage staff moved faster around them. William inhaled slowly. Then exhaled.
Est watched the nervousness return quietly to his posture despite the smile still lingering faintly on his face.
Onstage William looked fearless. But right before performances-he became human again.
“You’ll do well,” Est said simply.
William looked toward him. And for one brief moment, the chaos backstage seemed quieter somehow beneath all the noise.
“You think so?”
The question sounded softer than expected. William rarely asked for reassurance directly. Hearing it, therefore, made Est stepped slightly closer without thinking much about it. Close enough now that only backstage noise existed around them.
“Yes,” he answered honestly. “You always do.”
William froze for half a heartbeat. Then immediately looked away because apparently direct sincerity still destroyed him worse than teasing ever could.
“Okay,” William muttered weakly. “You can’t say things like that before I go onstage.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
Est simply smiled.
“You will sit in front right?”
“Why? need some more encouragement?” Est teased.
William suddenly looked way more flustered. He shook his head slowly and then said, “I will perform two songs. You already know about the first one, but I never sang the second one when you watched my practice. So…”
Est felt his heartbeat gradually quicken.
“You want me to listen carefully,” he stated.
William’s face gradually became redder as he nodded.
“Yes.” He said with a very soft sound.
“Okay.”
With that final statement, Est left backstage. He walked through the crowd, towards where Earn and the moms already reserved a seat for him. Luckily, they had arrived much earlier, so they were able to secure a prime spot, right in the middle of the sea of people.
The cue lights near the stage entrance suddenly shifted. Final call.
Est sat immediately.
The moment William stepped onto the stage, the entire auditorium changed. The crowd erupted instantly. Cheers crashed through the massive hall loud enough that even from his seat farther down the audience section, Est could feel the vibration through the floor beneath him. Lights exploded across the stage in sharp flashes of gold and white while music burst through the speakers with heavy bass and fast rhythm.
And in the center of all that brightness-William smiled. Not the shy smile he gave during family dinners. Not the flustered expression he wore whenever Est teased him. This smile was different.
Confident.
Alive.
Almost dazzling.
Est had never come to watch William’s end-of-year performance before. It always only Earn and the moms. But he had always known William was popular. Talented too. However watching him directly like this-fully inside his own world beneath stage lights-felt strangely different from simply hearing about it.
William moved across the stage effortlessly as the first song began, fast-paced and energetic enough that the crowd screamed every time he danced closer toward the front edge. Sharp choreography. Bright expressions. Steady vocals despite the difficult routine.
He looked natural there. Like the stage itself loved him back. Est suddenly understood why people gravitated toward William so easily. William carried warmth even under blinding lights. Something bright enough to pull attention naturally. And somehow-despite the massive stage, hundreds of people, and flashing lights everywhere-Est still found himself noticing only William.
The silver necklace moved lightly against William’s chest whenever he danced beneath the lights.
Their necklace.
Beside him somewhere in the audience section, students screamed William’s name loudly while phones lit up across the dark auditorium recording every second.
“HE’S SO INSANELY HOT-“
“Oh my god LOOK AT HIM-“
“No seriously, P’William is unreal-“
None of those reactions surprised Est. William shined too naturally not to be admired. What surprised him instead was this:
the quiet possessiveness that surfaced unexpectedly when the audience screamed too loudly during William’s smile.
Dangerous thought.
Very dangerous.
The first performance ended explosively. Final beat. Sharp ending pose. The entire auditorium erupting into deafening applause.
William laughed breathlessly onstage while lights swept across the crowd.
Then the stage darkened briefly for transition.
Est leaned back slightly in his seat afterward, fingers resting loosely against the armrest while the audience continued screaming around him.
And quietly-unexpectedly-He felt very proud.
Est usually viewed performances objectively. Professionally. But this felt personal somehow. Perhaps because William himself had become personal.
The lights dimmed fully then.
Soft murmurs spread through the audience as staff rolled a single standing microphone toward center stage. No dancers. No elaborate setup. Just one spotlight waiting alone beneath darkness.
Est paused slightly.
Ah.
The second performance.
William had mentioned it briefly backstage earlier before Est left for the audience seating.
“A different vibe this time,” William had said carefully while adjusting his in-ear monitor. “Don’t laugh at me if it’s too embarrassing.”
At the time, Est only hummed lightly in response. As the stage remained dark except for one narrow beam of light-he suddenly understood why William sounded nervous about it.
Then William appeared again. His stage outfit had changed from biker jacket into a plain black suit with the same black t-shirt inside. The entire auditorium quieted almost instinctively. Moments ago the audience had screamed wildly for him. Now they simply watched.
William walked slowly toward the standing microphone beneath soft white light, no longer the dazzling performer from earlier but something quieter.
Softer.
Est could suddenly notice smaller things instead: the nervous inhale before William touched the mic stand, the way his fingers tightened briefly around the microphone, the way his gaze drifted unconsciously across the audience-
searching.
And finding.
Est.
Their eyes met for one brief second across the dark auditorium.
Then the music began. Gentle piano first. Then strings. Soft enough that the entire hall seemed to fall still around it. William started singing quietly.
And immediately, Est understood the song. Not directly. Not obviously. But enough.
A confession song.
About admiration carried quietly for too long. About loving someone from a distance first. About slowly becoming seen in return.
William’s voice sounded different during softer songs. Less bright. More intimate somehow. Every lyric felt careful. Honest. Like pieces of himself placed gently beneath the spotlight for everyone to witness. And somehow-even surrounded by hundreds of people-Est felt like William was singing only toward him.
The lyrics spoke about waiting patiently beside someone colder than winter mornings.
About learning another person little by little. About finding warmth inside tiny gestures: shared coffee, small smiles, someone staying.
Suddenly Est found himself remembering everything too.
Rain against condo windows.
William driving him to work half-asleep before morning classes.
Bright laughter inside quiet spaces.
Nervous hands reaching carefully toward him again and again.
William had always loved loudly. But this song-this felt quieter. Deeper. Like something growing roots slowly beneath soft soil.
Dangerous thing to witness publicly.
Especially because Est could feel people around him slowly realizing it too. The audience had become strangely silent now. Listening carefully. And beneath the single spotlight onstage, William looked almost unbearably sincere singing words about finally becoming light in the eyes of the person he loved.
Est’s chest tightened unexpectedly. For the first time since the engagement began-Est suddenly wondered whether William truly understood what he was doing to him little by little.
The final chorus arrived softly.
No dramatic ending. No high note meant for applause. Just William standing beneath white light singing the last lines almost gently:
“You used to feel like a season I could never keep,
but now you stay beside me like morning light through open curtains.”
Then silence filled the auditorium for half a heartbeat.
And afterward-
The applause came all at once.