That One Exception

We went silent then, and we both watched the small Japanese youth being stuffed vigorously by the huge European. The youth was cuffed at all four points on a x-shaped metal apparatus, the upper part shorter than the lower and crossing at the young man’s sternum. His bondage spread his arms and legs in a standing position and gave the European open access to both his ass and cock and balls. The European was pounding the former with his own cock and worrying the latter with his gripping hands. It sounded like some of the young Japanese fellow’s screams of ecstasy at least were genuine and that it wasn’t all an act.

I watched Ben watching the performance. He didn’t seem repelled by it, but he didn’t seem overly aroused by it either. I thought long and hard about our situation, but what was coming to the surface were those feelings of loss that periodically had pierced me. It dawned on me that I valued my once-lost relationship with Ben very much. Perhaps much more than with almost anyone else; that I had been intimate with men I regarded and wanted to be with far less than I was finding I wanted to be with Ben.