Chapter 2 – Chapter 2

"Thank you, Mr. Philips. Strange and unusual circumstances you said in response to the previous question. So, you didn't go into that sauna to have sex with Dr. Martin, did you, Mr. Philips?"

"No." Skating on thin ice here, but he'd prepared me on this point. I hadn't seen the guy giving blow jobs in the gym that evening. When I'd gone in the sauna, I wasn't thinking of having sex there with anyone, let alone Dr. Martin, who I didn't even know. But my general idea of going into the sauna was someday to have sex with another man in there, so this was a circumstance for me to listen very carefully to how the prosecutor worded his questions and to answer them just as I thought he wanted them answered.

"Did Dr. Martin . . . in the sauna on the evening in question, did Dr. Martin identify himself to you as a doctor, Mr. Philips?"

"Yes."

"And did he or did he not indicate that he observed some possible medical problem with you while the two of you were in the sauna alone?"

"Yes."

"And what was the nature of that medical problem?"

"I'm not sure, really. Even now. He used medical terms and indicated that there might be some abnormality in my . . . in my . . ."

"With your genitals?"

"Yes. With my genitals. He started asking me some medical questions, and I became concerned that there was something wrong with me, and he seemed to be giving me free advice."

"And why would he even see your genitals, Mr. Philips? Were you accustomed to exposing yourself in the gym."

"No, no, of course not. But it was a sauna and an all-men's gym. It was customary for some of the men to go in there uncovered—with a towel but not using it to cover themselves. Using it in the sauna to cushion them from the hot wood of the benches. Nobody seemed to worry about that. I didn't walk around nude, but plenty of the other men did, and nothing was made of it. It was a men's gym. I had undone my towel to wipe my face off and just hadn't covered myself with it again. Lots of the men just walked around the locker room and sat in the sauna in the nude. It was just a guy thing."

I looked up to see that the prosecutor was holding his hand up. I knew I had rambled, but beforehand he'd told me that wasn't a real problem. That if I showed to the jury that I was nervous about any of that, it would actually help his case.

"And so, although you were embarrassed by the situation, Dr. Martin had made you concerned about possibly having a medical problem—maybe a serious medical problem—and in your mind he was doing a cursory examination to advise on whether you should be worried about it or not?"

"Yes."

"And his attitude. Was he clinical in his approach, or did he make it clear that he was soliciting you for sex."

"He was clinical."

"You never suspected he had any motives other than to give you medical advice on what possibly was a serious condition?"

"No. As I said, nothing like this had happened to me before. I knew it seemed a compromising position—to me, at least. But I thought it was all something I was imagining. And I didn't want to be impolite or to cause an incident."

"And in the course of his, as you considered it, examination, his fondling, he brought you to ejaculation?"

"Yes."

"Did this happen quickly, or was it over a prolonged period?"

"Quickly. I was nervous and embarrassed and confused about the situation."

"And what did you do then? Did you enjoy it and ask him to do it again?"

"I apologized."

"You apologized?" The prosecutor's eyebrows went up, and he smiled. Then he turned to the jury and shock his head before looking back at me for my response. I waited until he was facing me before answering. I needed the time to steady my voice.

"Yes, I thought he would get the wrong idea. I was embarrassed."

"Yes, of course. But then he did it again, didn't he? This time for a longer duration in time."

"Yes."

"And you let him. Still unaware of any motivations on his part that weren't medical. Still believing that you weren't having sex?"

"For me, it was sex—and I was confused and embarrassed by that, not knowing how I had gotten to that point. But I just thought that I was the only one who realized that—that he was just giving free medical advice, trying to help me. It made a difference to me—at the time—that it seemed only me who took it as sex. Somehow, if it wasn't him too, it wasn't really . . . a sex act."

It sounded really lame to me, but the prosecutor was still smiling, so I guess I was doing OK for his purposes. I plunged ahead. "He said that ejaculating when I was soft, as I did the first time, might be a symptom of a serious problem—that I should be hard when I ejaculated."

"And so he brought you to ejaculation again, with you going hard, and you let him?"

"Yes. I know it sounds stupid now. But I was embarrassed and concerned. I thought I might have a serious medical problem and this was not a good place—on my body, you know—to be having a medical problem. And he was explaining that what he was doing was necessary to check the problem out."

"And then afterward, what did he say?"

"That I really needed more medical tests, and soon. And that his medical office was nearby and he'd be happy to check me out a bit more—just so I would know if there really was a problem, in which case he'd be happy to refer me to a specialist."

"And none of this was suspicious to you?"

"No, not at the time. I was grateful. If there was something seriously wrong, I felt relieved and grateful that help was at hand."

"And you went to his medical office with him that night?"

"Yes."

All true, but, at the same time all misleading. It's true I was seduced by the medical line he fed me. But it was nearly as implausible then as it sounded like it was when I was testifying here. On the surface I believed everything just as my carefully tailored testimony revealed—but under the surface—and not too far under the surface—it was less a seduction than a fulfillment of desires.

I was attracted to Dr. Martin from the beginning—from the moment I saw him entering the sauna when the other guy was making a move on me. From that moment, I wanted to have sex with him—and had done so a couple of times in my mind already. He was middle aged, maybe fifteen years older than I was, but he was in great shape and quite handsome. We were alone in the sauna throughout the seduction encounter. I'd gone in before him. We'd both been exercising in the gym, and he'd come by and said a few things to me—just pleasantries and a bit of encouragement when I was trying to struggle out those last five reps of a routine.

We'd been on the floor at the same time on previous occasions and he'd said nothing to me. But that was before the evening when he'd come into the sauna and seen the blow job guy make advances to me without me resisting. Now it was evident that he wanted me to notice him. And shortly before I left the floor, he asked me if he'd see me in the sauna and gave me a "special" smile.