Chapter 19 – Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

When I arrived home, my mother insisted I sit down to talk. I assumed she wanted to know about what had happened with Steve, but my assumption was off. Way, way off.

"Eric, I'm pregnant," she announced, matter of factly.

"But, you and Michael aren't having sex."

"How do you know that?"

"He told me. He said he's trying to reclaim his virginity. . . . " I paused, quickly putting two and two together. "Oh my God, it's not his. It's Henry's."

"Sometimes, you're too smart for your own good."

"So, like, when you were sick over Christmas, it was morning sickness, not the flu."

"Like I said, sometimes, you're too smart for your own good."

"You should have told me."

"I'm telling you now."

"What are we going to do? Does Michael know? Does Henry know?" I fired questions rapidly, like a fusillade.

"Calm down and listen, Eric. Henry does not know and will not know. You are not tell him, Steve, or anyone else, even Lori. You hear me? No one. Not a soul. . . . Michael knows and has known. I was devastated when I figured it out. I wanted nothing to do with another baby, especially since it was . . . is . . . Henry's. I wanted an abortion. Michael talked me out of it."

"Why? That's crazy. Why would he want you to have someone else's baby?"

"He's a piece of work. He understands Henry preceded him, and he doesn't care that this baby is Henry's. He wants to marry me and raise this baby as his own."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Are you going to do it?"

"Yes. I told him yes this morning. That's why I'm talking to you right now. He had a plan, but I couldn't embrace it. I have now. We're getting married over Spring Break. We're leaving Paris once the school year's over. You'll be leaving this Fall for Denison, so there'll be nothing but ghosts in Paris for me. I need fewer ghosts in my life. Michael wants to live somewhere more progressive in both action and thought. He's hated Paris since you're beating. He wants out. I want to go with him."

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I don't know."

"I hope it's a boy."

"You want a brother?"

"No, I want to be your only daughter," I answered wryly, resolving whatever concerns my mother had about my reaction. My mother put her arms around me, and we shared a moment unlike any we had shared for a long time. It was heady stuff, too heady for me in that moment considering all the other emotional tumult I was going through with Steve.

I decided to ease the emotion. I asked quietly into my mother's shoulder, "Aren't you a little long in the tooth for a baby?"

"Eric Akers," she said quietly back. "I've never spanked you, but that doesn't mean I never will."

"I was kidding."

"It's actually a good question. I was 19 when you arrived. I'll be 38 when this baby arrives. With more experience and more maturity, I hope I'll make fewer mistakes and be a better mother."

I leaned my head back and looked my mother right in the eyes. "Mom, that's not possible. You were a perfect mother to me. You can't get better."

My mother's eyes welled with tears. "I hope I've been a good mother to you, Eric."

"You've been a great mother. Everything about our lives together and me has been a challenge, and you haven't skipped a beat. Your husband abandons you, no problem. Your son wants Barbies, no problem. Your son wants to wear makeup, no problem. Your son's gay, no problem. You took what came and kept going. You're a great role model for me. You just kept going. You're the strongest woman I know. I got my strength from you. I'd be dead otherwise."

We were both crying when I finished. I didn't know where that testimonial had come from. I had to have been carrying it around in my head and my heart for a long time. It was all true.