Chapter 10 – Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

The sex had distracted me from Mace. When I returned home, my plight overwhelmed me again. I tried to study, but I thought only of Mace. I decided to call him.

"Can I talk you before you go to St. Louis?"

"Sure. Want to grab a drink after the gym?"

"Very much."

"Okay. It's a date."

After we worked out, we settled into a booth. Neither of us had showered, and the smell of man was strong and intoxicating.

I got right to the point. "Did your time away provide any clarity?"

"Not really."

"Either way?"

"Nope."

"But, you're back?"

"Yep. I see no reason to torture myself. I missed you guys . . . especially you." He put his hand over mine.

"I want a life with you, Mace."

"I know."

"A long one. With a house and a cat and a dog and maybe a kid or two." I raised his hand to my face and kissed the back of it. "I know you want all of those things, too. And, I know you're never going to have them with John. You can have them all with me. I would marry you right now."

Mace and I stared at each other as I let my words settle over him. I had made my case. Neither of us spoke.

Mace finally pulled his hand from mine. "I should get going."

"Have a great trip."

"I'll see you when I get back."

"Not if I see you first," I joked, trying to break the tension. It didn't work.

*****

I was sullen and surly the whole weekend. Avery suggested another three-way to improve my mood. I turned him down.

Bruce brought Timmy to brunch. They were officially dating.

Avery brought Christian. They, too, were officially dating.

I was the fifth wheel. The camper or trailer, being pulled around.

I didn't hear any of the conversation. I left halfway through, bored and distracted. I went to Black's Beach and waded in the water. I took a nap in the sand.

I went home, opened a bottle of wine, and took a long bath. I dozed off.

I was startled awake by the doorbell. I had no idea how long I had been asleep, but the water had gone cold.

I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the door. I was stunned to find Mace through the peep-hole. I knew he was on the direct afternoon flight from St. Louis. He must have come straight from the airport.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Mace stalked past me. As soon as the door closed behind me, he pinned me to it, pressing his mouth hard to mine. I opened my mouth, and Mace kissed me as deeply as I have ever been kissed.

He stepped back, tugged his shirt over his head, and pinned me back to the door with another long, deep kiss. As he kissed me, he pulled the towel away, and grabbed my cock.

"I want you to make love to me," he whispered hungrily in my ear. "I want to know what it feels like to have you inside me."

He didn't have to ask twice. I grabbed his belt, undid it, and pulled it off. I unbuttoned his jeans, unzipped them, and pulled them down. While I was before him, I put my mouth on his cock through his briefs. It was a monster, and I couldn't wait to taste it. I pulled his briefs down and took as much of him as I could in my mouth. He purred as I did.

I couldn't help myself. I sucked him hard. When he tried to get me to stop, I refused. I kept at him until I felt his knees buckle and his balls clench.

"Oh, God, Juan, I'm going to come," he panted. I let him, taking his load in my mouth and throat. I swallowed all of him. I was in heaven.

I made love to him slowly on the bed. I devoured him first. I licked every inch of his body. I rimmed him until he begged me to penetrate him.

I was raised on my arms as I moved in and out of him. We never broke eye contact. My smile was as wide as it had ever been. I couldn't believe what we were doing. I was inside of Mace. His legs were wrapped around me. It wasn't a dream. It was real.

I came as hard as I ever had. I was soaked with sweat. I was dripping on Mace, who also was sweating.

I collapsed onto him. His arms joined his legs around me. I was lost in joy.

"I love you, Mace."

"I love you, too, Juan."

I rolled off of him and onto my back. He rolled onto his side, raised up on his right arm, and started playing with my chest and stomach hair.

"I love this mat."

"I do, too. I'd hate to be hairless."

He kissed me long and hard on the mouth. I put my hand in his hair and pulled his mouth to mine as hard as I could. I didn't want the kiss to end, but it did.

"So," I broached. "What happened in St. Louis?"

"Well . . . . After we had drinks, I knew what I needed to do. I wanted to cancel the trip. I would have, but it was Freddie's wedding. I couldn't miss Freddie's wedding. I ached as I flew east. I wanted to be here with you, getting this started. Once I saw John, I started having doubts. It's hard to let go of your first love. I thought a lot about what you had said to me. I asked him if he would marry me if he could. He didn't say yes, which meant no. I knew then and there where I belonged. And, my doubts were resolved. I knew I had made the right decision."

"What if he had said yes?"

"My doubts would've lingered. But, I'd have resolved them. I thought about and missed you all weekend. I told Freddie about you. I couldn't wait to get back to you. I'm where I belong."

"Did you tell John about me?"

"No."

"Can we make love again?"

"Yes."

We did. Slowly and gently. It was traumatic for me. I had never combined raw emotion and pure pleasure like that. I was crying when I came inside Mace for the second time, laying flat against his chest with his legs wrapped around me. We were both crying when he came inside me, laying flat against my back, his hands in my hands, his face in my hair, and his feet flat against my feet.

Mace fell asleep, and I tiptoed out of the room, pulling the door shut behind me. I called Bruce first and whispered the news to him. He asked me if I wanted him to call Avery and Christian, and I said no. I didn't want them to think they were second fiddle.

I heard Avery relay the news to Christian. "Juan won. So Mace lost."

"You're an asshole."

"That's why you love me, Puta."

*****

Mace moved his stuff in the next morning. We tried to sublet his apartment, but we couldn't. So, we used it for storage.

I asked Mace if he was nervous about going from one serious relationship to another. He matter of factly said "no." We never discussed it again.

We didn't really discuss John, either. I knew they continued to talk, which was fine with me. If he could bear the presence in my life of guys I had fucked – Avery and Christian, among many – then I could bear telephone visits to the man I had bested in the race for Mace's heart.

Avery asked if I worried that I had won by default. I assured him I had not, that Mace had chosen me before any choice was made for him.

I didn't care if I had won by default. I cared only that I had won, that Mace was beside me, and that Mace is beside me as I write this. I am looking at the picture Timmy too at Bruce's party as I write. It's our favorite picture.

Epilogue

My mother was right. Once I landed Mace, I forsook all others. He became everything to me.

Our life together has been great. We got our house, our cat, our dog, and our kids, Andres and Camilo, brothers from Colombia. We still hunger for each other sexually. We still talk without talking.

We still have Bruce. Timmy's gone. He didn't last long. Fortunately, he didn't take Bruce with him.

We still have Avery and Christian. They like to crow that they've been together longer than we have. They also laugh at our old-fashioned relationship. Theirs is open and very busy. Their front door should have a turnstile.

I met John at his wedding to Susan. He had asked Mace to stand up for him, but Mace refused. He said he couldn't witness a lie. He could attend, but he couldn't stand up.

I saw what Mace had seen in John. He was charismatic and handsome. I was smitten with him before I knew it.

I also saw that John was still in love with Mace. You could see it in his eyes, in the way he looked at him, in the way he brightened when he talked to or touched him.

I didn't see the same thing when Mace looked at him. I saw it when he looked at me.

Mace and I got married last year, 20 years to the day from the first time we made love. Our sons stood up for us. Avery, Bruce, and Christian all made it. So did John, now thrice divorced and still struggling against everything he's afraid to be.

Our parents did not. Mace's father died very young. His mother got to meet her grandsons, but we dallied too long to get married. Cancer claimed her first.

My parents moved back to Bogota when it stabilized. They thought of moving back when we got the boys, but didn't. They should have. They died violently.

We are still in San Diego. Mace lawyers, I doctor, and we spend our spare time chasing or shuffling our boys from here to there.

It's not the life I expected when I was 24 or 25 and thought I knew way more than I did. But, it's the life I wanted, at least once I met Mace. We are living happily ever after.